Friday, February 12, 2010

Comfort and Joy


1. "Don't cry... it will grow back."

2. "Son, just remember, blowing that reception in the fourth quarter means I will always love your sister more than you."

3. "If it upsets you so much, maybe you shouldn't think about Joe Biden being one heartbeat away from the presidency."

4. "Look, I'm sorry Mrs. Letourneau has lost interest since you hit puberty, but you had to know it was going to happen."

5. "I know it hurt losing the state championship, but, that was back in November, son. It's February now. F--king man up."

Best of Vinney
"It's tough being the last of the Mohicans. You try it"!

Best of dub
Carl couldnt help but think that the best part about raping handicap chicks is that they cant run very fast with their walkers.



Sorry.

Best of Double the U
It's okay, it's okay. You will find another holier than thou right wing Christian site.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Oh, Nair in the helmet. Yeah, that's a classic."

Best of Matt the K
He...he said... "I pity da fool copy my haircut", then he took my gold chains, mommy!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Mom's Thawtbubble - Oh honey, I should have told you a long time ago... they're not laughing at your hair, but what your head moles spell if you connect the dots.

Best of Adriane
All right, now go win one for The Humungus! The Lord Humungus!

... pep rallies at Thunderdome HS could get a little weird.

Best of sonicfrog
ORA: Dammit! The Hockey stick is dead!!!! DEAD!!!!! Baaaaaaaaa....

Best of Army of Mom
Most of the football team looked forward to Mrs. LeTourneau's cup checks. It just made Ty feel dirty.

Best of Passionate Conservative
"On the other hand, I shaved my snatch to look like your head."

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

"It's tough being the last of the Mohicans. You try it"!

Vinney

dub said...

Carl couldnt help but think that the best part about raping handicap chicks is that they cant run very fast with their walkers.



Sorry.

dub said...

Its ok....its ok...shhhhh....V teh K will do better next Thursday.

Double the U said...

It's okay, it's okay. You will find another holier than tho right wing Christian site.

Jack Reacher said...

"Oh, Nair in the helmet. Yeah, that's a classic."

Matt the K said...

He...he said..."I pity da fool copy my haircut", then he took my gold chains, mommy!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mom, they said they'd stop laughing if I got rid of my mullet and wore it like this. They PROMISED!!!!

-OR-

Mom's Thawtbubble - Oh honey, I should have told you a long time ago... they're not laughing at your hair, but what your head moles spell if you connect the dots.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Help! Quick! Get it OFF! Get it OFF ME!!! That little monkey on my back is trying to gouge my eyes out!
(mistaking him for Howard Cosell, a politically-correct knee jerk liberal referee tossed a red flag and sent him off the field for unsportsmanlike conduct... where the little monkey proceeded to gouge his eyes out and bite an ear off)

Adriane said...

All right, now go win one for The Humungus! The Lord Humungus!

... pep rallies at Thunderdome HS could get a little weird.

mega said...

"Oh God, mom, the Rogaine isn't working."

mega said...

It's time for the Colts to stop pulling their hair out and get on with their lives.

sonicfrog said...

ORA: Dammit! The Hockey stick is dead!!!! DEAD!!!!! Baaaaaaaaa....

molson said...

There. There. We won't let those mean ol teabaggers keep picking on our messiah. We'll get mad and stomp out feet and shake our fingers at them and call them names until they go away.

Army of Mom said...

Hey mom, you're right. I can hear the ocean ...

Army of Mom said...

Hey Mom, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?

Army of Mom said...

Thanks for the hug mom. Now, I'd like to recommend something we call deoderant.

Army of Mom said...

I still can't figure out why the guys keep calling me landing strip, then laughing as they walk away. What does it mean, mom?

Army of Mom said...

On the next episode of Cougar Hunter, Ty "Landing Strip" Hogan shows us the move that works every time on hot mommas.

Army of Mom said...

Most of the football team looked forward to Mrs. LeTourneau's cup checks. It just made Ty feel dirty.

Army of Mom said...

Slow dances at the Cougar & Me Valentine's event.

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Passionate Conservative said...

"On the other hand, I shaved my snatch to look like your head."