Monday, January 25, 2010
What kind of idiot...
1. "I'm Ron Burgundy. Go f--k yourself, Jefferson Elementary."
2. "Oh, wow, man, I said wait a second, man. What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year?"
3. "Why did they all move their desks to the back of the room when I said the Safe School Czar would be speaking next?"
4. Robert Gibbs and David Plouffe vigorously denied that Obama cheated to win the sixth grade spelling bee.
5. Despite extensive preparations, the Parent Teacher Conference turned out to be a disaster. Hussein kept insisting that Malia's class performance "isn't about me," and M'Chel tore out the principal's heart with her b'at l'eth for a perceived insult of her honor.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Hardball questions such as - "Why isn't that crook Tim Geithner in jail?" - "We were evicted on Christmas Eve, how was Hawaii?" - "Why send millions to Haiti and billions to Afgahnistan while Appalachians and Native Americans live in squalor?" - had Obamalama missing the candyass White House press corps.
Best of D. Dean
Uh, well kids... the teleprompters went out. Time for recess.
Best of sonicfrog
ORA: ♫ He went there to read a letter, meow, meow, meow.
Where the reading light was better, meow, meow, meow... ♫
Best of GregMan
"When I was in school, the first thing they taught us was what direction Mecca was."
Best of Jay Guevara
"And now, kids, we'll proceed with the reading of My Pet...(teleprompter scrolls)...Goat.
Best of Vinney
"Hey kids, where's the bathroom here so I sneak in a smoke"?
Best of Submariner
No, not exactly true that "anyone can grow up to be President." You have to be light skinned, have no discernible negro accent, and never, Ever, EVER make a substantive campaign promise.
Best of metalgarth
If this can't get me a date with Edna Krabbable, then nothing can!
Best of Double the U
The problems here are can be traced back to the fifth grade teacher.
Best of Jay Guevara
"Can't I just eat my graham cracker?"