Friday, January 15, 2010

Unhappiness


1. Someone was very cross that all of his Thursday submissions were rejected.

2. Someone was even more cross that his entry was accepted at hot chicks with douchebags.

3. The DNC ships in millions of loose sluts to "sway" undecided Massachusettes (sic) voters.

4. "Damn, Chad, thought you'd like my birthday present. What are ya, some kind of faggot?"

5. "Three chicks and a blindfolded llama and you're still not happy? I don't get you, Hector."

Best of GregMan
Dub in the Land Of The Fat Chicks.

Best of GregMan
Another Obama voter learns the awful truth that he voted for a Communist idiot.

Best of Vinney
A young and thin Luciano Pavoratti just couldn't get into the fun at the karioke club, instead he ate.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ted, you're kidding, right? You want RESPECT from alcoholics when you wear a Chinese knock-off Poolo(sic) shirt?

Best of dub
Carl was just mad when he found out he didnt have the biggest pecker in the bar.

Best of Submariner
After the break, Sam the Eagle falls on hard times after Henson catches a cold on E! True Story...

Best of Jack Reacher
Jack was pissed that someone kept changing the bar's TV from ESPN to an old rerun of "Where Eagles Dare."

Best of Steve O
Kurt finds out that only fat chicks like his beard.

31 comments:

flyovercountry said...

No, I am not happy to see you, nor am I carrying a gun, now give me back my wallet.

flyovercountry said...

You put your right hand in,
You put your right hand out,
You put your right hand in,
And you shake it all about,

I know that wasn't my hand girls, but come on, it wasn't that funny.

GregMan said...

Dub in the Land Of The Fat Chicks.

GregMan said...

Another Obama voter learns the awful truth that he voted for a Communist idiot.

GregMan said...

"If that damn superhero doesn't stop staring at me I'm gonna go all kryptonite on his ass."

GregMan said...

"If these damn kids don't get off my lawn soon there's gonna be trouble."

Barco Sin Vela II said...

"I thought you said the Chippendales were gonna make an appearance..."

The joke was definitely on Thad.

Anonymous said...

A young and thin Luciano Pavoratti just couldn't get into the fun at the karioke club, instead he ate.

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ted, you're kidding, right? You want RESPECT from alcoholics when you wear a Chinese knock-off Poolo(sic) shirt?

-OR-

I'm really really serious, girls... smiling and giggling is not tolerated in Grumpy's Pub!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Pathetisad: Watching a drunk-on-excess bald eagle trying to pay a tab with congressionally-debased US dollars after the credit cards were cut up by the bartender.

molson said...

Photo bomb freak show contest. Guess which one is the freak.

divine miss m said...

The winner of this year's Golden Straw Award, for the person best able to suck the fun out of an otherwise exciting situation.

dub said...

Carl was just mad when he found out he didnt have the biggest pecker in the bar.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Setting: O'Malley's Bar in Cape Cod, MA
Floyd's worried scowl disappeared when he realized the loud thumping sound wasn't an earthquake but just Ted Kennedy spinning in his grave over polls hinting at a Tuesday special elections rout.

Matt the K said...

Me and my partner Eagle Head own this bar. I'm his 'wing' man. Get it??? F*ck you, its time to go.

Matt the K said...

What you lookin' at??!!! Yeah, my date and I have hands growing out the tops of our heads and my cousin's a raptor.
What of it??!!!

Matt the K said...

What?!! I told you my bro was a Seahawk. I didn't say he was a *Seattle* Seahawk!

Submariner said...

Guess who just found out he wasn't getting with ANY of the bar's hookers?

Submariner said...

I'm pretty frakkin' sure that he ain't the "Blue Bird of Happiness."

Submariner said...

After the break, Sam the Eagle falls on hard times after Henson catches a cold on E! True Story...

Submariner said...

I just made an observation when I said "This bar is for the birds." Don't go getting your panties in a wad, sunshine.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thawtbubble- "Batman, this is Robin. I'm in this bar and just ran into the Joker's daughter! She's got a grin as wide as Gotham City. What should I do, Batman? BATMAN!? Holy CB Radio! Could the bat channel be off the air? Testing, 1, 2, 3. BAT MANNNNNN"

metalgarth said...

I swear... somebody just farted and it smells like... bird poop?

Double the U said...

He thought "girls night" would be easy for him to pick up chicks, he became upset when all the girls that slept with Eddie the Eagle raised their hands.

Jack Reacher said...

Jack was pissed that someone kept changing the bar's TV from ESPN to an old rerun of "Where Eagles Dare."

Rodney Dill said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Steve O said...

Kurt finds out that only fat chicks like his beard.

Steve O said...

Cliff is told that nobody thinks his magic marker beard is realistic.

...and that the bird in the background has a bigger pecker.

sonicfrog said...

Proof that being gay does NOT always mean that you're happy. It all depends on the crowd you're with.

Submariner said...

Raise your hand, raise your hand if you're sure!

Submariner said...

Where's that frakkin' squirrel now that I have a raptor?