Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Throw Down Your False Gods and Worship Me!


1. "Ia! ... um... Ia! Cthulhu ...um... fhtagn!"

2. "Wow, Barney Frank is really going to town on the boys' choir."

3. Obama, a cross, and two phallic symbols? Andrew Sullivan just wet his pants.

4. "I give Christianity a solid B+ as a religion."

5. "Just lay my prayer rug down right there... Oh, sorry, force of habit."



Best of Rodney Dill
"I'm so liberal I can't even stand being close to my right hand."

Best of dub
And thus, the American economy is headed this way...

Best of molson
Ha! I'm better than Wilt. He may have banged thousands of broads, but I did sex to an entire nation.

Best of Submariner
While M'chel consumes that one's spleen, does anyone else want to raise a "little correction" to something I've said?

Best of censors hip
The bathrooms are this way & if any of you are artists you may take the cross with you

Best of Vinney
"And now the choir will sing Ave Obama, mmm, mmm, mmm."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
My fellow light and dark skinned breathren with negroid features... to fit in, this is how honkies shake hands. We, uh, I mean they don't do jive knuckle banging nor the high five slapadoodle thing!

Best of Unscrupulous
Yessir. In fact it is this long.

Best of Dactyl
Baldy in the back is having a dream too, looks like.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I've spilled wine here to show you how Sham Wow works better than anything at cleaning it up."

40 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"... as it says in the Koran..."

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm so liberal I can't even stand being close to my right hand."

jj said...

Must...cover...cross...before...I...
turn...to...ashes....

HLam said...

Will someone please pick up my teleprompter for me?

dub said...

And thus, the American economy is headed this way...

dub said...

This week, at the Silverback Lodge....


wv: synefat, yeah, I seen some on that woman in the back row.

Rodney Dill said...

I love mankind... It's people I can't stand.

Rodney Dill said...

"Whaddya mean we can't tax tithes?"

Anonymous said...

Someone forgot to turn the cross upside down.

Vinney

blue said...

MLK had a dream.....I am the nightmare

censors hip said...

look - would you guys vote for Martha if I told you she was 1/2 black??

molson said...

No. No. I'm no golden calf, but seriously... Worship me!

molson said...

Ha! I'm better than Wilt. He may have banged thousands of broads, but I did sex to an entire nation.

GregMan said...

"Allah akbar!"

GregMan said...

"I did not campaign for that woman, Martha Coakley!"

GregMan said...

"No no no, it's not G-d bless Amerikkka, it's G-d d@mn Amerikkka!"

Submariner said...

Not a cap, just an observation;

Didn't the libs and the msm go absolutely ape-sh!t over Huckabee having a bookshelf in a picture that gave the appearance of a cross?

Submariner said...

I ain't no ways tahred...

Submariner said...

Look, you have to believe me; I TRIED to find a black for the seat, so just vote for Coakhead this time and we'll fix it next election. Or would you rather WORK for your paycheck?

Submariner said...

...and she's equipped with real, Corinthian leather!

Submariner said...

While M'chel consumes that one's spleen, does anyone else want to raise a "little correction" to something I've said?

censors hip said...

the bathrooms are this way & if any of you are artists you may take the cross with you

Anonymous said...

"And now the choir will sing Ave Obama, mmm, mmm, mmm."

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

My fellow light and dark skinned breathren with negroid features... to fit in, this is how honkies shake hands. We, uh, I mean they don't do jive knuckle banging nor the high five slapadoodle thing!

-OR-

Okay, here's that bag of magic beans I promised during the campaign. Step up, take a bean, plant it in your yard. Your personal moneytree will rise out of the earth like earmarks in an appropriations bill. Amen & Hallelujah!

Unscrupulous said...

Yessir. In fact it is this long.

Unscrupulous said...

Gimme' a "t".

dadoctah said...

"I think it's time to take up another collection. Fourteen in one hour isn't out of line, right?"

Dactyl said...

Baldy in the back is having a dream too, looks like.

metalgarth said...

Carl was just as bad a preacher as Reverend Lovejoy, but the communion chalice full of Duff kept Homer, Lenny and Barney coming week after week.

Submariner said...

...would I sh!t you?

metalgarth said...

too bad it's not a snake handling church...

Jack Reacher said...

censors hip said...
the bathrooms are this way & if any of you are artists you may take the cross with you

Oh, that's some funny s***, that is!

Jack Reacher said...

"As I say to my Cabinet appointees, 'Won't you come serve at My right hand?'"
WV: allian--oh, wouldn't the birthers have a field day with that?

Steve O said...

Though often compared to Jesus, Obama thought of himself as more of a "God the Father" type.

Jack Reacher said...

"I've spilled wine here to show you how Sham Wow works better than anything at cleaning it up."

Jack Reacher said...

Is it the lighting in there, or is he really light-skinned?

Jack Reacher said...

"This showcase can be yours, if the price is right!"
Practicing for his next job.

Adriane said...

And on the last day shall there be any Republicans sitting at the right hand of my Father? I think not!

Rodney Dill said...

"Can I get a Harumph?"

chunkstyle said...

Who among you is brave enough to challenge Rahm, and if victorious, to serve at my right hand as First Prime to Obama?