1. "Sorry, Mikey. But this is gonna get me 64 Experience in Mafia Wars."
2. Young Andrew's excitement at being 'whacked' behind the school turns to disappointment.
3. Barney Frank's Google search for "Young boys whacking" produced a surprisingly satisfactory result.
4. "Trust me, Ahmed. This is the only real way to deal with head lice. Now, hold still."
5. "OK... OK... I'll say it ... 'Barack Hussein Obama... Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!'"
Best of Vinney
Instead of the annual Dental Hygiene play, Mrs. Evan's first grade class decides the a Sopranos episode would draw higher ratings.
Best of Submariner
Angelina's kids play with Madonna's kid.
Best of eat me
Now will yo show us the birth certificate?
Best of sonicfrog
Hey, this is just a normal day at Los Angeles Elementary.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Who says a mind is a terrible thing to "waste"?
Best of molson
The SEIU initiates another junior member.
Best of Epaminondas
The IRGC junior league welcomes young Hiram Goldstein
Best of Kaptain Krude
I told you to go get us some coffee, boy!
Best of Jack Reacher
"We're playing Goodfellas, Petey. Guess who gets to be Joe Pesci!"