1. I never really cared what had happened to Alanis Morrisette, but it's kind of nice to know, anyway.
2. "Everything seems to remind me of my lesbian affair with Carmen Electra."
3. Realizing the purchase would only lead to ridicule, Mrs. dub just buys some tangelos instead.
4. When you only have enough money for fresh fruit or shampoo, choose wisely.
5. Another naive intern misinteprets the SecState's request.
Wicked Best of Double the U
...remember don't squeeze the melons as hard as the baby's heads... don't squeeze the melons as hard as the baby's heads...
Best of Rodney Dill
"Hmmm.... I wonder if trying to swallow one of these things whole for the last 5 years has done any permanent damage to my lips."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Cold sore viruses experience tiny multiple orgasms when they see lips like those.
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Oonag's shrill hoots soon alerted the rest of the tribe to her new-found bounty.