Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Facepaint



1. What happens when you give a BJ to the inventor of Wonder Bread.

2. Michael J. Fox's career as a face-painter was not a success.

3. The Mime Tribute to Jackson Pollack was paid for with $880,000 in Stimulus spending and reliably estimated to have created or saved 3,000 jobs.

4. Janeane Garofalo was the biggest makeover challenge ever. Alas....

5. The serial killer made each of his victims a tribute to a famous 20th century artist. Jackson Pollack, obviously. A whore murdered with a soup can honored Andy Warhol. But the dismembered Picasso tribute made even Grissom throw up.

Best of Rodney Dill
Yes we Kandinsky

Best of censors hip
watching Avatar in 3D & IMAX really puts you in the action....

Best of Vinney
Kabuki bukakke.

Best of dadoctah
"She comes in colors everywhere"
-- The Rolling Stones

Best of Army of Dad
thought bubble: Oh damn, did he get some in my hair again!

Best of Jack Reacher
You think it was easy painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling?

Best of Silhouette
You laugh, but Stacy here qualified for every single affirmative action scholarship the university offered.

Best of Silhouette
Captain Kirk sighed, "Another one? Yeah, I'm probably your dad too."

Best of Submariner
I didn't know that Leroy Neiman had done a "Hillary" but, surprisingly, I kinda like it.

Best of Adriane
Well, like the reason you've never been too close to a friend chucking up a bottle of Pepto-Bismol is that you've got well, like, ya know, boring friends!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Marcy's bad habit of applying makeup while driving ended abruptly... the day she was rushing to a job interview on a bumpy road and forgot to check the rear view mirror.

Best of DaveP.
Clown bukkake.

27 comments:

dub said...

Bozo The Clown gives his first facial.

Rodney Dill said...

Yes we Kandinsky

Rodney Dill said...

Camoflage.... fail

censors hip said...

watching Avatar in 3D & IMAX really puts you in the action....

Anonymous said...

Kabuki bukakke.

Vinney

dadoctah said...

"She comes in colors everywhere"
-- The Rolling Stones

Rodney Dill said...

Obamerica... a work in progress.

Army of Dad said...

thought bubble: Oh damn, did he get some in my hair again!

Jack Reacher said...

You think it was easy painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Gudzunheit!

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Callie considered herself an artist. Her friends considered her a dumbass.

Silhouette said...

You laugh, but Stacy here qualified for every single affirmative action scholarship the university offered.

Silhouette said...

Captain Kirk sighed, "Another one? Yeah, I'm probably your dad too."

Silhouette said...

Hey! We've been singing about you in Sunday School for years!

Silhouette said...

Beer and Twister = good party. Jagermeister and Spin Art? Well.....

Silhouette said...

How every father sees his teenage daughter when she first wears makeup.

Steve O said...

Usually you just see this in white.

Submariner said...

Don't you roll your eyes at ME young lady - get right back upstairs and remove that Cover Girl before you leave for school!

Submariner said...

I didn't know that Leroy Neiman had done a "Hillary" but, surprisingly, I kinda like it.

Submariner said...

dub probably loves this girl, not a single fat roll shows...

Submariner said...

Blue hair? What the heck was she thinking?

Adriane said...

Well, like the reason you've never been too close to a friend chucking up a bottle of Pepto-Bismol is that you've got well, like, ya know, boring friends!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Marcy's bad habit of applying makeup while driving ended abruptly... the day she was rushing to a job interview on a bumpy road and forgot to check the rear view mirror.

-OR-

Renowned airbrush artist and bodypainter, 90-year old Elroy Kravitz, begrudgingly conceded that palsy might finally be affecting the quality of his work.

-OR-

The elementary school teacher who was dumb enough to allow Obamalama speak to her neo-poor class forgot to lock up the fingerpaint supplies.

DaveP. said...

Clown bukkake.

Matt the K said...

These Cirque de Soleil clowns keep getting weirder and weirder.

molson said...

What? No eyeliner?

Anonymous said...

Abdul thought about turning his life around after taking a few art classes but ultimately decided to go back to killing infidels after the guards laughed at his work.