Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Another Day at the Dinosaur Media

Shawn

1. "Your piece about the blogging fad needs a few more denunciations of right-wing tea baggers, Al."

2. "Three hundred pages of 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.' I'm worried about you, Tom."

3. "... And that's why Barack Obama is the bestest president ever. Sincerely, Ellie Light."

4. The writing staff of Law & Order hold their morning story session.

5. "And if they don't publish our Manifesto, we start blowin' up shite!"

Best of molson
So what can we blame Boosh for today? Gay marriage? Yeah let's go with that. Plus, it ties in nicely with global warming because the warmer it gets the gayer you can dress.

Best of dub
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought this would happen to me at Sunny Acres Retirement....

Best of Jay Guevara
"There. That wraps up another 60 Minutes script."

Best of censors hip
my spellchecker at work...who sez I'm not high tech?

Best of Capt. Queeg
18 August 1973

Memo to File

SUBJECT: CYA

1. Staudt has obviously pressured Hodges.....

Best of dadoctah
"How do you surf for pr0n on this thing?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"You know what? Never mind; you don't actually need to write your resignation letter for Air America."

Best of Silhouette
Found on page 847 of the latest healthcare bill, a requirement that all requests for medical care be typed on a machine built in your birth year.

Best of Silhouette
The look of the new Apple tablet surprised everyone.

Best of Submariner
Helen Thomas' grandchildren work on her eulogy.

Best of Jay Guevara
"No, no, it's "s" before the "c" in "fascist."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
With 30 million people poised to join the ranks of pill-takers, CVS is proud to announce they're hiring of hundreds of new pharmacy assistants just to type labels.

25 comments:

molson said...

So what can we blame Boosh for today? Gay marriage? Yeah let's go with that. Plus, it ties in nicely with global warming because the warmer it gets the gayer you can dress.

dub said...

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happen to me at Sunny Acres Retirement....

Jay Guevara said...

"There. That wraps up another 60 Minutes script."

Anonymous said...

"Fred, do they still make White Out? If they do, get some."

Vinney

Anonymous said...

"Dear Penthouse,
I know you're not going to believe this story, but my hot sister-in-law...."

Vinney

censors hip said...

my spellchecker at work...who sez I'm not high tech?

Capt. Queeg said...

18 August 1973

Memo to File

SUBJECT: CYA

1. Staudt has obviously pressured Hodges.....

dadoctah said...

"How do you surf for pr0n on this thing?"

Army of Dad said...

Well those Sams layoffs needed job skills training...

Jack Reacher said...

"You know what? Never mind; you don't actually need to write your resignation letter for Air America."

wv; fired. Yep.

Jack Reacher said...

"Back off, Sonny. Ya think I'm gonna take advice from a guy who doesn't even use a pocket protector?"

Jack Reacher said...

The Seattle Post Intelligencer editorial board prepares another scorching exhortation to the workers of the world.

dub said...

Dear V teh K,

Your site is a holier than thou right wing Christian site. And your Thursday ladies are fat.

Now get off my lawn!

End

Mr. Hankey said...

Another waste of Stimulus money being used to train senior citizens looking to get back into the workplace.

Silhouette said...

Found on page 847 of the latest healthcare bill, a requirement that all requests for medical care be typed on a machine built in your birth year.

Silhouette said...

"Absolutely this baby gets the internet. You just press this button, and it sends everything you've typed wirelessly to the internet, through your microwave."

Silhouette said...

The look of the new Apple tablet surprised everyone.

Matt the K said...

Steve Jobs announces the new iPeck for seniors.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"Look Bernie, I'm just sayin' that "Spank me like a bad girl!" sounds better in that scene than "Harder! Harder!" Always keep the plotline in mind."

Submariner said...

I was wondering what Carroll O'Connor had been up to lately...




v word - potho - one of the lesser-known musketeers?

Submariner said...

Helen Thomas' grandchildren work on her eulogy.

Submariner said...

After the break; A surprising find from the Texas Air National Guard on our E! True Story special; "Dan Rather - Investigative Genius"

Jay Guevara said...

"No, no, it's "s" before the "c" in "fascist."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Since senior citizens are often computer-phobic, the rule for Intro to PCs 101 is... baby steps.

-OR-

With 30 million people poised to join the ranks of pill-takers, CVS is proud to announce they're hiring of hundreds of new pharmacy assistants just to type labels.
Update: Error rates for prescription medicines reaches a new high.

-OR-

How you know your days as the obit writer for The Herald are coming to an end:
"Well I'll be darned, Thelma, it is jibberish. These cheap trifocals are for crap."

Anonymous said...

"Tom, it's about time we break down and buy an IBM Selectric."

Vinney