Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween, Monors!

Fred Miranda


1. Star Trek XII, featuring Nancy Pelosi as the Borg Queen.

2. "I believe Helen Thomas just said, 'Kobe, I'm open!'"

3. "So, when you bowl a perfect game, a succubus appears and eats your soul? What kind of incentive is that?"

4. "Wow! This must be a pretty chi-chi bowling alley to get Barbra Streisand to sing the National Anthem!"

5. "'He's got the world(clap) in his hands...' C'mon, you guys, what are you, uptight or something?"

Best of prince of leaves
Casper's brother Chester, the Poor Anger Management Ghost.

Best of trollcrusher
Somehow Skeletor just didn't quite live up to his fearsome "The Evil Lord of Destruction" persona following his "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" makeover.

Best of mega
What, did we expect Dede to just go away?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Madonna just isn't newsworthy anymore.

Best of GregMan
Whatever it is, it's a better bowler than President Soetero.

Best of molson
Well whatever the heck it is, it certainly dresses better than a First lady I know.

Halloweird

Friday, October 30, 2009

Like a Bridge Over Troubled Captions


1. Some Death Panel members enjoy their jobs more than others.

2. What conservatives see when Reid and Pelosi discuss the Public Option.

3. "I can't believe I wasted $12,000 on this 'snuff' film," Sully simpered.

4. "Would anyone else care to guess the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

5. "So, which one is supposed to be the Muslim?"

Best of mega
Cass Sunstein and Van Jones were happy to provide the teachable moment to Bob Marhofer, who leared the hard way not to put your name on a capitalist accomplishment right before a communist takeover.

Best of Kaptain Krude
The ref whistled for a personal foul, but the game was over anyway.

This is not a dream, not mine, anyway

1. Returning from a nooner, Larry Craig wonders if he's forgotten anything.

2. "Is this the stop for the middle school or is it the next one," Congressman Frank wondered.

3. The 'Underwear Czar' shows up for his first day of work at the White House.

4. Frank becomes the victim of an exceptionally skilled pick-pocket.

5. It took an innocent child to point out that Levi's Invisible Dockers were yet another marketing rip-off.

Best of Silhouette
Finally! "Thursday" for the ladies.

Best of dadoctah
"Yes, I'll be at the courthouse in about ten minutes. Right now I'm just going over my briefs."

Best of mklasing
In Barney Frank's flash forward casual Friday's were awesome!

Best of mega
And this is weirder than Beck's other shows how?

Best of trollcrusher
Fllow Caption This! contributors: Just be glad that Andrew Sullivan wore the briefs in this pic and not the crotchless / assless leather chaps today while heading over to his stint at the Atlantic magazine.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Turbans, the Belt-Buckles of the Subcontinent

Brender (Again)


1. Dark Helmet's conversion to Sikh did not facilitate the capture of Princess Vespa.

2. "Welcome to 7-11, would you like to try a Slurpee?"

3. Perhaps the one instance in which the caption "Mom" just will not work. On the other hand, his laxative is apparently starting to kick in, and Army of Mom does own that outfit.

4. The Najul house was the only one in the neighborhood that could shun trick-or-treaters without worrying about being TP'd.

5. PBO: "M'Chel, what do you make of his hat?" M'Chel: "A full set of bedroom curtains or one inaugural gown."

Best of dadoctah
Long-time fans are not entirely happy with the new direction ZZ Top has taken....

Best of molson
What not to wear when traveling by air.

Best of Double the U
Now we know where Osama bin Laden is hiding.

Best of Matt the K
Apparently, this is the corner of the world where Grimace is worshipped as a deity.

Best of trollcrusher
The Rebel Alliance had much to fear in "Achmed the Sith" who was known to wear with *IMMENSE* pride, a burnoose which denoted 25 Rebel Alliance starcraft kills.

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
Quick, whack him with a stick-- Halloween treats for everyone!

Best of mega
Sometimes it's better to quit trying to compensate and just admit you're going bald.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Break the backs of your opponents by sending them sparkly lead trinkets for their headgear." ~ Sun Tzu Jr.

Best of Rodney Dill
HASSAN CHOP!

Best of Army of Dad
Dude, that turban is Sikh

Best of metalgarth
How Jihad of Dad met Jihad of Mom

Best of sonicfrog
Dammit, I just found out my favorite band Big Head Todd has pulled a Cat Stevens and converted to islam.

Best of jeff
Arab for "Strong Neck Muscles."

Best of Jay Guevara
"One more 'Karnak' wisecrack and it's on!"

Shooting One's Mouth Off Would Be the Obvious Angle

Brender


1. Eating a gun. UR DOIN IT WORNG!

2. So, Sully's not the only one whose had someone shoot off in his mouth lately.

3. Uh oh, somebody lost a fight with J-Lo

4. Sully's Google Image Search for "men with junk in their mouths" produced a more satisfactory result once SafeSearch was disabled.

5. These Quentin Tarantino movies are really starting to get hackneyed.

Best of Rodney Dill
No no. Gingivitis is dental GUM disease.

Best of prince of leaves
Chun's dentist has to constantly nag on him to fieldstrip and oil.

Best of prince of leaves
Looks like someone tried the spring surprise.

Best of trollcrusher
How *NOT* to smuggle firearms into a Philipene maximum security prison.

Best of dadoctah
"Efcuve me whife I whiff viff ouff."

Best of Silhouette
The teacher assigned an oral report on the Hamilton-Burr duel.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Never has "dis ezz a stick up" carried less gravitas.

Best of molson
Sway hewo twoo my wittle fweinds.

Best of jeff
"Concealed weapons - ur doing it wrong."

Best of Matt the K
Dammit! I said bring me some Chewing GUM!!!!

Best of metalgarth
That's one way to make sure the Cavity Creeps never come back

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

'Lympian Free For All


Here's a target-rich environment! Go to it, Monors!

Best of trollcrusher
"Sooooo ... Mohandas Gandhi, a cripple, a tree-hugger riding a zero carbon emitting mountain bike, and The Beatles' Yellow Submarine (with wheels) stroll into a bar ... "

Best of Matt the K
Although well-meaning, the Tour de Ghandi was a complete bust.

Best of dadoctah
"The cars are approaching the starting line: first is the Turbo Terrific driven by Peter Perfect! Next, Rufus Roughcut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon. Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special; right behind is the Anthill Mob in their Bulletproof Bomb. And there's genius inventor Pat Pending is his Convert-o-car! Oh, here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the glamor gal of the gas pedal. Next we have the Bouldermobile with the Slag brothers, Rock and Gravel. Lurching along is the Creepy Coupe with the Gruesome Twosome, and right on their tail is the Red Max! And there's the Arkansas Chug-a-Bug with Luke and Blubber Bear. Sneaking along last is that Mean Machine with those double-dealing do-badders: Dick Dastardly and his sidekick Muttley!"

Best of mega
IPCC Rapporteur: "Good start, America. But you'll have to get rid of the bicycle, too - CO2 is used to make the tires. Everything else is approved through 12/2010"

Best of dwhawk
"What walks on three legs in the morning, two legs and two wheels at noon, and balances in a hydrogen feul powered banana buggy in the evening?" riddles the Sphinx.

Best of Rodney Dill
Steve Jobs finally lets his guru status go to his head.

Best of molson
Moonbatman jumps out of the Moonbatmobile to hang with his peeps.

Best of dadoctah
Ed Begley Jr, kicking it up a notch.

Another Peek into Sully's Subconscious

Brender
1. The Denver Bronco's new cheerleading squad was unconventional to say the least.

2. ORA: Esera Tuaolo throws the weirdest tailgate parties.

3. A week Ang Lee's remake of Passion of the Christ came out, Mel Gibson showed up at his door with a sawed off shotgun and a half-drunk bottle of Manischewitz.

4. Gay Caber Toss.

5. The YMCA dance does not translate well into Chinese.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Moments later they hooked up the hose, and the Living Fountain came to life! Well for a few seconds anyway.

Best of Silhouette
While faking torture pictures, Al Quaeda mixed up the bondage porno they meant to rent with cheerleader porn. AP and Reuters didn't notice and ran the photos anyway.

Best of trollcrusher
Since India was unable to procur the necessary funding from the International Olympic Committee to construct a multi platform diving tower for their diving competition, they had to make do with using a troupe of mimes to act out both the tower itself and the subsequent dives that would have been executed by the competitors.

Best of Unscrupulous
In an all out effort to finally please their women, the men of Troup 419 create a giant French Tickler....

They failed.

Best of Silhouette
What a coincidence, I may not have this outfit, but I've made a similar pyramid. And let me tell you, we didn't use any sissy pole for stability like these cheaters did.

Best of dadoctah
Mobile Suit Gundam: UR DOIN IT RONG.

Best of mega
"Charles Johnson said we had to do this or we'd be banned."

Best of dadoctah
How many semi-dressed Asian performance artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Swimfreaks



1. The Chernobyl High School swim team prepares for a practice session.

2. "The Death Panel said it would cost too much to treat our deformities. Help me with these weights."

3. Post ObamaCare, the facilities at Lourdes had to be expanded to handle everyone denied health care.

4. Hillary seems to be enjoying her spa vacation with Rachel Maddow.

5. The Coinjoined Twins Paralympics were held in Lake Placid this week.

Best of metalgarth
at least it is more entertaining than watching the prez go bowling

Best of GregMan
"Dub's girlfriends, in the Alternate Universe. They have goatees, too."

Best of Matt the K
Deanna Torres dwarfs the competition. Seriously-- she actually owns a shrink ray that can do that.

Best of Adriane
Things just haven't been the same since Randy Newman bought out ESPN ...

Best of jeff
"Little People, Big Pool"

Best of mega
After all the hot conservative chicks had been booted out, the Miss America pageant devolved into a comedy of demented talent segments.

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
"I love your cankles!"
"I love yours more!!"

Best of mega
Joy Behar celebrated her recent fame and fortune with her BFF and a brand new in-ground olympic pool.

Monday, October 26, 2009

No Caption, Just This


Smoker FAIL


Best of prince of leaves
Even Courtney Love had to start somewhere.

Best of trollcrusher
The secret to the trick of holding the burning end of a cigarette in one's mouth was due to having a NOMEX coated tongue. Granted, you could perform the stunt endless times ... however, you couldn't taste the difference between a swig of lighter fluid and a glass of grapefruit juice.

Best of John.....just John
That's nothin'. the real embarrassing part was when I lit the power outlet 10 feet behind me instead of the cigarette.

Best of mega
The good news: Obama's habits had rubbed off on the nation's youth. The bad news: most were too stupid to do it right.

Best of Matt the K
Young Laura Dern savors the robust flavor of Ennui brand cigarettes.

Witch!!!!!!!!!

Brender


1. "Thou hath been found guilty of watching FoxNews, and thou shalt be burned at the stake!"

2. An Alabama courtroom as imagined by the editors of the New York Times.

3. "Sir, I'll ask you to remove yourself from the torture rack. The Folsom Street crowd needs to use it on the Safe Schools Czar."

4. Charles "Nancy" Johnson's banning rituals become ever more elaborate.

5. "You have blighted our crops, scorched our fields, turned our soil to dust... and all for the benefit of some stupid minnow in the Sacramento Delta." The post-Revolution trials of EPA officials were gruesomely satisfying.


Best of Silhouette
The airlines have gotten a little ridiculous with their size and weight requirements. Dang, just measure my computer bag, okay?

Best of John.....just John
No no no. The line for those who are accused of buggery is over there!

Best of Viking04
We have found a Conservative. May we burn him?

Best of mega
"You weigh less than tbe Crucifix Stone. So we will permit you some health care."

Hippy Chick

Brender


1. The gravitational field of M'Chel's hips holds the hoop in place with no need for gyration.

2. Pointlessly spinning around an Obama. Metaphor for the Press Corps, anyone?

3. Hoop by Wham-O. Sneakers by Lanvin. Studded Leather Bondage belt by Barney Frank.

4. Rosie O'Donnell's toe-rings have all kinds of additional uses.

5. Scenes like this make me long for the quiet dignity of Dick Cheney shooting people.

Wicked Best of prince of leaves
(ORA) Apophis smiled, pleased that his wayward J'affa warrior had fallen for the disguised ring transporter and would soon be back in his clutches.

Best of curly
Even the First Lady finds it impossible to don the halo of the Anointed One.

Best of Van Helsing
The Bride of Obama's posterior serves as a life-size model of the planet Saturn.

Best of Unscrupulous
Michelle demonstrates the latest "Ova-ring" birth control device which helps keep the young-uns from getting pregnant. "Of course, it helps if you look like me", she says.

Best of Matt the K
A slackjawed Mrs. O awaits instruction from The Floating Hoop of Ass Control.

Best of Jay Guevara
We owe all others primates an abject apology.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Lessee, A lot of frantic action... focus on spin control... results in only going in circles... Yep. We're at the Whitehouse."

Abbreviated Best of Rodney Dill
Let those who denigrate,
Socialism -- aight,
kiss my derriere,
the Green Slattern's blight."

Best of Rodney Dill
"No, but it does make the hoop look smaller."

Best of Matt the K
Rob Halford called. He wants his belt back. And his capris.

Best of Adriane
Now, now, now, let's not get so judgmental here! Maybe ... maybe the hula-hoop enjoyed it...

Sunday, October 25, 2009

No Caption, Just This




Best of blue
ObamaMotors releases the new 2010 model complete with assembly instructions & tool.

Best of trollcrusher
Following the launch of an assemble-it-yourself-in-just-the-span-of-a-weekend VOLVO, the next slated do-it-yourself "off the shelf" project to be lauched by the ubiquitous IKEA (read: world domination group), was a build your own fall-out shelter using fake teak particle board, an assembly manual that comes in 200 languages, and a TORX wrench.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Maybe Tipper Gore can put this together for us."
"No, you just need an Allen Wrench, not Al's Wench."

Best of prince of leaves
Sure, it seems like a cost-saver now, but when you need more space in your Volvo and go back to buy more seats? Right, they don't carry that color and finish any more, and you have to buy new so that everything matches.

Best of Oiao
Shit! They did not include the Elmers Glue! Fuck*n Bastards! Another trip to the hardware store for a 4 ounce bottle of Elmers!

Best of molson
Damn I just hate when all the holes don't line up.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

There's Actually a Lot Going On in this Picture


1. "Mein Fuhrer! I can valk!"

2. "There, in the stands. The Safe Schools Czar keeps flashing me his junk and touching himself."

3. "Your boogers! Give them to me!"

4. "The visitors have won the toss and have elected to pull my finger."

5. "Son, I just don't think the power to make baseball caps glow is really 'Hero' material."

Best of dadoctah
Aiieee!!! GOJIRA!!!

Best of Barco Sin Vela II
Thad returned from his date with a cheerleader and asks his bro's to sniff his finger.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ex-cop now coach Zelden performed roadside sobriety tests whenever a player flubbed a field goal or had a pass intercepted.

Best of Dactyl
Seriously, look at the giant gazongas on the chick sitting with AOM!

Best of mega
And on the third night that the sun refused to set and burned a bright orange, many went into denial, and tried to calm their own fears by pointing out to others the otherwise normal paterns of stars in the nighttime sky.

Best of molson
Son that's not how you execute a clothesline.

Best of Mr, Hankey
..and I promised the kid I would hit the home run over left ield...but then I remembered that it's still football season..crap!

Brazilian-American Football

Fred Miranda

1. "Come on, guys! Stop kidding around! Where's my ball?"

2. Bubblegum Tate's grandson was a mixed bag of athletic genetic inheritances.

3. "What I want are frickin' Axemen with frickin' footballs on their frickin' heads!"

4. "I don't care if he's your nephew, coach. Throw him out and get me a Center with some freakin' depth perception!"

5. The result of the Special Ed - JV scrimmage was never much in doubt.

Best of Matt the K
In a last ditch effort to retain fans, the short-lived XFL attempted having field goals kicked from the holders' heads. It *almost* saved the league.

Best of dub
Secretly, Timmy loved the sensation of balls on his head.

Best of molson
Why are these magnetic gloves I bought off of the internets not working?

Best of dadoctah
Billy was hit so hard on the last play his tongue swelled up and turned blue....

Best of thedoyle
I'm crazy football head, give me some candy.

Best of Matt the K
I know!!! I f**king hate those footballs, all brown and bumpy and weird-shaped and...uh-oh...there's one floating above my head right now, isn't there?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The team was psyched when the Redskins fresh-OUT-of-retirement, bingo-calling coach swore he'd teach them how to "march that football right down to the goal posts" ... until the drills began.

Best of Dactyl
Player-in-background thought bubble: "Your mouthpiece totally clashes with your facemask. Douche."

Best of GregMan
Ang Lee's remake of "Brian's Song" took a not unanticipated new direction.

Best of sonicfrog
Obviously the Raider's number-one pick in next years NFL draft....

Friday, October 23, 2009

Panda Express


1. Multi-cultural confusion. That is *not* how you break a pinata!

2. As the Panda Signal appears in the sky over Guangdong, Panda Man leaps into the Pandamobile to confront the, um, pandemonium.

3. Underendowed tops make Lou-Lou a sad ... and unsatisfied ... panda.

4. The Safe School Czar denied that he intentionally scheduled the Plushy convention in the same hotel as the High School Mascot convention.

5. Toward the end, Jerry Springer got rather desperate for topics. e.g. "Plushy Exhibitionists"

Wicked Best of molson
My panda got rear ended today. Now it just drives around with this stupid expression on it's face.

Best of Army of Dad
(ORA) Getting riden like a cheap whore makes me a sad panda.

Best of dadoctah
I for one am fed up with all this yellow on black and white violence!

Best of Silhouette
What's black and white and gets taken for a ride by foreign powers?

Best of dadoctah
"So the boys in marketing said to me, 'we need something to make the Segway look cool'. I told 'em I'd work on it."

Best of Rodney Dill
Rone Ranger - "Hi-Ho Server away..."
(OK so he's just chinese tech support)

Best of Matt the K
At this experimental clinic in Xianxhou, victims of panda rape are allowed to exact their revenge in a controlled environment.

Flowers in the Attic, Nerds in the Basement

AoSHQ


1. "I repel your Spell of Enchantment with my +2 Amulet of protection... Aw, screw this, let's just get out the Vaseline and jerk each other off."

2. Gates/Jobs was an even bigger box office disappointment that Frost/Nixon.

3. (1977) "My ultimate dream is to create a technology that will someday enable society's losers to watch porn and post obscene screeds about how terrible America is without ever leaving their parents' basement."

4. "So, I was driving my mom's Vistacruiser, thinking about how heavy and slow and bloated it was, and I came up with an idea..."

5. "And I used my billions to create this perfect half-scale replica of the apartment Laverne and Shirley moved into when they left Milwaukee for LA."

Best of Silhouette
"Listen, I want you to stay put. Stay put! I'm sick and tired of looking for you everywhere, Waldo."

Best of mega
This week on The Office! Bill Gates explains the secrets of Microsofts' success to Jim, who pretends to take notes while wondering how Dwight managed to amputate his leg while he wasn't looking.

Best of Viking04
Live, on the set of 'The Esoteric Star Trek' Toledo Public Access Channel

Best of dub
So in conclusion, Windows 7 is going to be great...and if you dont go buy it, we'll cut off your other leg too.

Best of trollcrusher
After Bill and Steve descended the rabbit hole, drank the "DRINK ME" potion they discovered there (and subsequently shrunk down to a fourth of their original size) ... they happened upon a cake that said "EAT ME". They obligingly did so and soon discovered, much to their chagrin, that they were now both ten feet tall with no way to get out. Urgent phone calls by them to support technicians based out of Southeast Asia, were of no use ... as far as we know, they are still there.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
While you've squandered your life making user-friendly computers, I've bought up 60% of the amazon and malaysian rain forests, a 25% silent ownership in Monsanto and 8 glaciers. Wood, seed, water. Call me crazy, but I'm prepared.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

101 Pics of Chicks in Princess Leia Slave Gear

About 37 good ones


You're Welcome.

No, wait, THESE are BIG UNS!



Best of metalgarth
"Illegal Beach Ball Smuggling has Authorities Stumped"

Best of Van Helsing
Call the fire department! Bill Clinton fell into her cleavage and hasn't been seen since.

Best of Jay Guevara
Definitely a mammal. Most definitely.

Best of Silhouette
I didn't know Octamom was breastfeeding! Good for her.

Best of GregMan
Dunno about the rest of you but my ennui just freakin' disappeared!

Best of Dactyl
And I can paint those boobs for just $39.95!! Cause I'm CRRAAAZZYY!!!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Never has a hominid had more trouble walking upright.

Best of mega
Nice MeganMcCains.

Best of Adriane
Scientists in Holland continue to deny rumors of a Woman-Holstein hybrid ...

Big Uns!



Best of trollcrusher
'Scuse Me While I Whip THESE Out"

Best of metalgarth
If "Laverne and Shirley" was a Samuel L. Bronkowitz production.

Best of blue
my training bra overachieved

Best of sonicfrog
Wow, the alternate-universe Roseanna Arquette is quite a bit better than our dull, flat version.

Best of divine miss m
Sweater mastiffs.

Best of hpb
""Is this some kind of bust?"

Best of Dactyl
Ow, my eye!

Best of Matt the K
She bought the house with the royalties from the chrome mudflap silhouettes.

Best of Steve O
No man she's ever met in her life knows the color of her eyes.
Or even whether she has any.

Best of Army of Mom
She has come-hither eyes and come-fondle-me boobs. I like that in a woman.

Best of Adriane
Ah ... a sweet, old fashion girl to bring home to mom ... corn fed and no navel ring ...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out

blue

1. A Letterman Intern flashes back to her interview.

2. Letterman reveals his Cylon origins.

3. "Hillary brought it back for me from Russia. You shoulda seen the one she kept for herself."

4. Dan Rather swears to this day that's a real penis.

5. "You may be wondering why the gearshift from a Saab Turbo is stuck in my crotch. Short answer, don't go joyriding with Governor Corzine."

Best of Viking04
Five seconds before they used the microscope lens for the very first time.

Best of trollcrusher
Notice the oh-so-not-very-subtle placement and degree of lean angle of Dave's microphone on the desk. Subliminal phallic suggestion -or - just Dave doing a pseudo trenchcoat perv flash? You be the judge ...

Best of Rodney Dill
If Open Mike Night lasts for four or more hours seek immediate comic relief.

Best of trollcrusher
As the final grains of sand quickly passed through the metaphorical hourglass of David Letterman's television career, Dave decided to go out with a "bang" by propositioning actress Julia Roberts to re-enact San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's bizarre "microphone deepthroat stunt' before an astonished audience of *millions*.

Best of Army of Dad
Dave shows off the newest dance crazy by doing The Clinton.

Best of HLam
Julia laughs as Dave says "Width is more important than length, no?"

Best of Dactyl
Go Go Gadget Boner!!

Best of Mr. Hankey
As Dave loosens his shirt and moistens his nipple in preparation for Samurai suicide - Julia laughs.

Best of Matt the K
I named it 'Lyle'. Now you will luv-it.

Best of paul
Dave's next career - pitching Mr. Microphones on late night infomercials.

Awkward Family Photo: Grand Prize Winner

Buzzfeed


Best of Matt the K
Back in the 30's West Virginia marriage licenses required proof of consummation.

Best of molson
How to go from "awwww" to "wtf" in one easy step.

Best of Kaptain Krude
I see little Johnny is discovering the pleasures of playing pocket pool in the second picture.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Best of Rodney Dill
Little boy (thinking): "Damn... I was sure I put a condom in this pocket."

Best of Matt the K
Well, if she ain't good enough for her own family then she ain-- Oh, I guess she is.

Send in the Clowns

Knowledge is Power

1. "Don't arrest that man in the John Wayne Gacy outfit! He's the Safe Schools czar!"

2. "Mr. Sullivan, didn't you learn anything from that brutal jailhouse gang-rape you got the last time we arrested you?"

3. "Just be quite, Chuckles. You can explain to the judge about your 'wide stance' when you get your day in court."

4. "Good Lord, have any of you lefties ever heard of soap or deodorant? From now on, I'm only working tea parties."

5. "No, I will not tell you you've been a naughty bad boy.... What do you mean 'harder?'"

Silent But Deadly Best of Matt the K
Be careful with that one, Ian! Those teardrop markings mean she's killed a rival mime troupe!

Best of GregMan
"Come along, Mr. Biden, the padded van is here to take you back to the cabinet meeting."

Best of metalgarth
Turns out the rumors about the "Grand Prize Game" being rigged with Bozoputer were true after all

Best of robert
By jove, Nigel, we've gone and arrested the Prime Minister!

Best of Silhouette
Oh dear, what kind of trouble has Galloway gotten himself into now?

Best of Army of Dad
"...and where you are going they just love clowns!"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Touched by the Hand of Marx



1. "This is where we will tattoo my mark, but that doesn't happen until the second term."

2. "This is the one who's a compatible tissue match for my cancer-ridden lungs? Well, get to slicin'"

3. "Here, have one of my boogers. I picked it just for you."

4. "Don't worry about your $300,000 share of the debt, son. The dollar will have the value of Monopoly money by the time I get through with it."

5. "And if you don't want to be punished with a baby, the abortion doctor can drill a big hole in its head, right here, and suck its brains out before it's born."

Best of blue
Mr President, can we play rub-a-dub like I did with Michael Jackson and Bubbles??

Best of dadoctah
An older but wiser E.T. still makes the rounds curing cases of "ouch" with the light from his fingertip.
wv: boontar. There's an Uncle Remus reference in there somewhere but I just can't be bothered.

Best of Army of Dad
"Listen here you little shit, I was born in Hawaii and don't you forget it!"

Best of Army of Dad
"Ominos, Dominos, Pizza Hut...go forth and register to vote."

Best of metalgarth
"I know you think you saw Lenny and I 'wrestling' in the men's room at Krusty Burger..."

Best of John.....just John
But don't you EVER let me catch you working for f#$%ing FoxNews network, you got it?

Best of molson
Worship me or Glenn Beck will eat your liver.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
There was a sizzling sound, a smell of ozone, and an agonized shreik, and the rest of the children learned to avert their eyes when His Obamaness passed by.

The Soul Brother and the Succubus

Brender

1. "Where the bony, botoxed-up, face-lifted, nasty, stupid white women at?"

2. "And the winner of the 2009 DNC Halloween costume contest is 'Nancy Pelosi,' for her Drag Queen Cryptkeeper costume."

3. "Second prize goes to Olympia Snowe, for her Republican Senator costume."

4. "Third prize goes to Barney Frank as Batman, and a naked high school boy in a leash and studded leather collar as Robin."

5. "Thank you, Jack Black, for that inspiring opening prayer. Now, Anita Dunn is going to come up and read some quotes from Mao's Little Red Book."

Best of metalgarth
Sorry, Lenny, Edna K. is my woman now.

Best of SamEyeAm
Give it up one more time, Sexual Chocolate!

Best of Uchuck the Tucchuck
"Who's the white bitch
With the face to tight to twitch?

Nance!

You Damn right..."

Best of John.....just John
B.O. and Nancy had the routine down pat. He would make fart noises and she would contort her face into an "I'm farting" look. Killed every time.

Best of GregMan
"And now, San Fran Nan will light the ceremonial Amerikkkan flag."

Best of blue
dis here be my bottom bitch, Nancy

Best of Adriane
Palomino. Palomino! P-A-L-O-M-I-N-O!!!

Best of blue
dear Nancy - Let me sing you love songs, written in the letters of your name.....

Best of Rodney Dill
Obama: "Hey it wasn't me... it was Nancy who farted..."
Nancy: ("Cripes... even that's on the teleprompter."}

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Pull, um, my, uh finger."

Best of mega
"And here we have some grade A prime, boys. $100,000 and you can load her up on the yacht and sail home tonight." Obama did his best pitch for the Arab slave traders, but deep down, knew he was about to get Copenhagened again.

Monday, October 19, 2009

It's a Man-Boy Love Association Thang

Brender

1. "Barney Frank was right, you little boys do have soft, warm skin."

2. "That's a bad touch, Mr. Obama. Just like your safe schools czar showed me over and over again."

3. "Gross, I hate kissing smokers. It's like licking an ashtray."

4. "Mr. president, of all the power-crazed, Marxist radical America-haters I know, I love you best!"

5. "Psst, hey Jamal, the president is trippin' balls and thinks I'm the Travelocity gnome."

Best of GregMan
"No, Mr. President, you can't borrow my birth certificate!"

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Psst, Mr. Obama...where da white womens at?"

Best of metalgarth
Magic Negro Mind Melds often cause Dawn's head to explode

Best of Dactyl
Zzzzzzzzz....

Best of mega
"I want to be President someday! Of course, because of you, that won't be possible for about ten thousand more years."

Best of prince of leaves
When Obama felt the twinge of a pulled hair, he had no idea that little Ronald was actually a Young Republican infiltrator, and that the plucked hair would be a key ingredient in a blasphemous ritual later that night.

Best of molson
Don't worry kid. I'm stealing your future to make a better America. Now give us a hug.

Best of Rodney Dill
THUNK...THUNK...thunk...unk..unk..unk..

Best of Jay Guevara
"MmmmmmMMmmmmMMmmm. I love that little boy smell."

Best of Adriane
You know, I was just about your age when Grandpa Stanley took me over for some happyfundrinks at Commie Frank's place. I still can't remember what happened after that ...

Hillary and ... um... the Phallic Thing



1. "Gosh, I 've never seen anything like that before."

2. "Guys, I found my strap-on!"

3. And then, Hillary knew exactly what to get M'Chel for Christmas.

4. Once Hillary saw that the OS for Russia's new ballistic missile system was "Microsoft Crap," she figured it was safe to dismantle all missile defenses.

5. "No, I'm not saying that thing wouldn't fit in Andrew Sullivan's ass, I'm saying the actual object of which that is a scale model might... might ... not fit into Andrew Sullivan's ass."

Wicked Best of mega
"Shouldn't this thing be bent over and pointed at the floor?"

Best of GregMan
That rocket doesn't know it yet, but it's about to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Best of GregMan
Translation of Russian phrase on poster: "Requires two D cells to operate".

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Crap! My hypnotherapist assured me the headaches wouldn't return unless something reminded me of that cheating bastard.

Best of Matt the K
Violet Beauregarde Clinton was asked to leave the tour shortly after she chewed off tip of Willy's wonka.

Best of HLam
"Big white thing...Blue Dress...I think I'm having a flashback"

Best of dadoctah
Suddenly, Madame Secretary received telepathic instructions from the mothership.

Best of Silhouette
Hillary worries about selling the peasants on the new D.C. mosque with a minuret taller than the Washington monument.

Best of 5X88
Oh Crap, note to self, pickup D-Batteries for the flight home.

Best of prince of leaves
From force of long habit, Hillary develops a sudden headache at the mere sight of any long, white, cylindrical object.

Best of SamEyeAm
I can't believe I work with such morons. How the hell is an astronaut supposed to fit in there?

Best of Unscrupulous
"It's a good thing they called it the "Sea Launch", cause after last night that thing smells like fish yo!"

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I CAN HAS PERSPECTIVE?


1. LOL! I LIVES IN ESCHER HOUSE. IS PRETTY WEERD ACSHULLY.

2. PLEEZ TO FIX TEH GRABBITY? THX.

3. HATES TO INTERRUPTS MEDITASHUNS BUT HOUSE IS ROLLING DOWNHILL. FIX IT PLEEZ.

Best of blue
does laying on the floor with my feet on the walls make my tits look bigger?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
We are witnessing a marvel of evolutionary development... the domestic cat's sphincter creates sufficient suction to hold Fluffy motionless until the mouse wanders within pouncing range. ~ David Attenborough narrating

Best of divine miss m
Wow, man, like, which way to the bummer tent?!

Best of Kaptain Krude
SEERUSLY, LOSE WAITE. MADE FLOR TILT.

Best of Jack Reacher
TOL U NOT BUY HOUS IN TORNADOE ALLY.

OMG! She Decapitated Elmo


A gruesome display indeed...

Friday, October 16, 2009

Cannibal Corpse


1. Grandma, the other, other, other white meat.

2. "Hey, I got an idea. Let's photoshop this to make it look like Rush Limbaugh is eating the corpse of a black man and see if Huffington Post will run it. Aw, who am I kidding, of course they'll run it."

3. Peasants Feasting on the Corpse of Capitalism is hung in the White House next to that orange "Indecision" thing.

4. After stealing Nancy Pelosi's scarf, the villagers tried to feast on her corpse, but found it stringy and largely made of plastic.

5. In the second part of Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery,' you find out what they did after they stoned Tessie Hutchinson.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
HuffPo writers imagine the Palin family reuinion.

Best of Matt the K
From the Palin family album:
Sarah, age 4, first Elk kill, Bare hands.

Best of Matt the K
"Bayarmaa, stop playing with your entrails and EAT!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Oh, sure, the little virgin is all smiles now but when she was shackled to the tree watching as that poor yeti with a viagra-size boner crept up to her, she screamed like a banshee.

Best of mega
Kids wearing $400 Northface jackets in Summer, with no money left for food, eating their parents. Thanks, JayZ, 50 Cent, and P Diddy.

Best of Adriane
Well of course it's tarte aux fraises maison! What did you people think it was?!?

Best of blue
Barack Hussien Obama
mmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmm

Best of prince of leaves
Moonbeam's final thought: "You know, maybe working as a PETA canvasser on the steppes of Outer Mongolia wasn't such a great idea after all..."

RINO McBoobjob


1. Meghan McCain now comes with airbags to match her airhead.

2. Boobs on the right. Warhol on the left. Is this some sort of weird "Gay Test?"

3. Upon presenting her fag-hag credetntials, Meghan is welcomed into the Blue Oyster Bar.

4. And here you thought John was the biggest boob in the McCain family.

5. The Warhol Bible simply repeats the word "Peas" for 419 pages.

Best of GregMan
"You conservatives get off my lawn!"

Best of Matt the K
Fred looks so much different now, from when he posed for Mapplethorpe.

Best of jeff
There's push-up and then there is hydraulic lift-up.

Best of mega
Tensions rose, as many tried to reconcile a piece of primo stroke material with the fact that it contained an image of a person related to John McCain.

Best of Jay
Find four boobs in this picture.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Camouflage FAIL


Boots? What boots?

Best of GregMan
Sarah Palin prepares to deploy to Afghanistan.

Best of GregMan
"Boots on the ground" quickly became "Ankles in the air behind my ears" once Muffy enlisted.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
"You dirty rat. You killed my brother."

Best of metalgarth
If "Commando" was a Samuel L. Bronkowitz production.

Best of Nose
wv: gonosoc
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"I knew it was ok to make love to her because I was wearing a gonosoc."

Best of Army of Dad
I, for one, welcome our new Amazon overlords.

Best of blue
excuse me while I whip this out

Best of dadoctah
Now this is a side of Marie Osmond we've never seen....

Who Knew Moonbase Alpha had a Strip-Club?



"Chalk-faced whore." "Plastic-titted bitch."

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hangin' with my Gnomies


1. Rush Limbaugh's front yard, as reported on CNN and MSNBC, based on an article they found at Wikipedia.

2. ORA: The secret Phase 2 in the Underwear Gnome economic plan turned out to be "Create a Fascist society."

3. After being fired from Travelocity, the Roaming Gnome got a new job as the spokesman for Lufthansa.

4. Nazi Gnome Gay Bars, Next Geraldo.

5. Goldfinger was very unsatisfied with his Travelocity vacation.

Best of Silhouette
But later, they decided to go with a maltese falcon, and the movie was a hit.

Best of mega
Bob had always been comfortable with his gnome chess set, but after seeing his millionth gold ad on Beck, decided to slowly roll in some improvements.

Best of prince of leaves
Louis Farrakhan dreams of Smurfs.

Best of Rodney Dill
Eddie the Gnome was always invited as none of the others could successfully hail a cab.

Best of Rodney Dill
The trap was laid... the bait set... only waiting was left... Kanye West would come... Yes, he would come...

Best of Silhouette
Disney introduces new dwarves: Inky, Blackie, Midnight, Carbon, and Bling-Bling.

Best of Silhouette
"As you can see, we have several. Can you identify your missing gnome, Mr. Midas?"

Best of HLam
Unearthed next to the Chinese Terracotta Army was an army of "Mini-Me's".

Best of Adriane
Sometimes the gardeners for EuroDisney, Munich, just can't help themselves.

Best of Army of Dad
One gnome to rule them all.

Best of dadoctah
"I'm afraid there's been some miscommunication. What Ms Palin actually said was that she wanted to invite the *Nome* delegation over to her place."

Best of Matt the K
Ah ha! *Proof* that C-3PO made it with the dwarf inside R2-D2!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Low budget FOX documentary of Hitler's Last Days reenacts the pandemonium in the bunker when none of his staff dared be first to stop saying sieg heil.

No Caption, Just This

Divine Miss M

Help Me


1. "Me Love You Long Time. $30."

2. "You don't realize, living with Tom and Katie makes Neverland Ranch look like the Brady Bunch. When I turn 6, they're going to sacrifice me to Lord Xenu."

3. "Soylent cupcakes are people!"

4. The terrible truth behind Sara Lee cupcakes: Slave child labor.

5. "Sandra Bullock? Wow! You're much shorter in real life."

Wicked Best of Matt the K
"You like those cupcakes a lot, huh, honey?? Well then, wave 'hello' to your future!!"

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
No, Ms Obama-voter. This cupcake does NOT make up for saddling me with $30,000 of national debt and rising.

Best of Matt the K
These days, street urchins have it so easy.

Best of Matt the K
Roman Polanski sends his sister out to window shop.

Best of Army of Dad
Bitch stole my cupcake!

Best of Mr. Hankey
Julie sees her own youth in the window..and a little girl.

Best of dadoctah
Deb receives the signal to proceed with the holdup from her lookout inside the "bakery".

Best of blue
Hey lady - I've got a cupcake & you don't...nah, nah, nahna.....

Best of mega
ORA "Oh, look at which one of us doesn't have a flashing red dot in our palm...so sad, so sad."

Best of Rodney Dill
"No Cupcakes for you!!!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
PRWeb News Alert - Starbucks is now accepting children in trade for over-priced coffee.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

1. When Obama repealed 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,' Sergeant Ricky celebrated by buying something pretty.

2. Chakotay shows up in the middle of the 'Captain Proton' holodeck program and immediately tries on something pretty.

3. After a hard day of soldiering, nothing's more relaxin than dressing like Tina Turner and lip-synching "What's Love Got to Do with It?"

4. "Young man, you get into that shower immediately! You're not getting mud all over my Donna Karan original!"

5. "Gee, can't a guy bring his girlfriend a nice peignoir without being the target of a bunch of gay jokes! I've had it with you monors. I'm going to the bathhouse... I mean, sports bar."

I, Mud



1. "I hate Star Trek conventions. I got groped by George Takei and a Gorn."

2. "Did they really move Ash Wednesday to October, or was Father Donelly lying to me?"

3. "Where was I? Oh, just over helping Army of Mom plant some begonias."

4. The Safe School Czar soon replaced all Phys/Ed classes with something he called 'bare-chested mud Twister,' because it was safer than dodgeball.

5. After graduating from Obama's public schools, boys may not know mathematics or history, but thanks to the Safe Schools Czar, they will have memorized the hanky code.

6. Some purists may not like the chimney sweep scene in Ang Lee's remake of Mary Poppins.

Best of molson
No really, it's not what you think. I was trying to swat a fly.

Best of Army of Mom
Army of Mom, are you trying to seduce me?
No, I'm just trying to get the damned bulbs in the ground before it freezes.

Best of GregMan
The Barney Frank Gardening Club just concluded their monthly meeting, I see.

Best of Army of Dad
"Put your hands on my shoulders..."

Best of Adriane
Well, I don't know who that Mr. Frank was, but he has the weirdest rules for tug-a-war that I've ever played ...

No Caption, Just This



Best of Rodney Dill
...but we still don't know where the F*ck Waldo is.

Best of Matt the K
Why your brother-in-law should not be your manager: Mr. Young's Solo Acoustic Tour 2006 was an unmitigated disaster.

Best of molson
That ain't Angus. It's that former twink wanna be Jay character from Clerks. Try again McD's.

Best of Army of Mom
Uh, right. You've got big balls. That's great and all, but I just want a Happy Meal for my kid.

Best of Army of Mom
For Those About to Rock: We have drive-thru

Best of SamEyeAm
Wiat until next year when McD's rolls out the meatloaf!

Best of GregMan
And in other hockey news, Obama wins the Stanley Cup.

Best of GregMan
That certainly explains all the fancy axels and lutzes after the Red Wings score a goal.

Best of metalgarth
"Why can't I quit pucking you?"

Best of Matt the K
Dammit! Once again from the top! When we get to the line 'we're not straight' I'm taking the high note, and YOU sing alto!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Cankle Deep

Brender

1. "That idiot Dutch Boy we hired stuck his finger into Rosie O'Donnell instead."

2. "Oh, wow. I guess Kirstie Ally really was just retaining water this whole time."

3. "Al Gore's kid ran in here, flushed something down the toilet, and it's been backed up ever since. That's all I know."

4. "Just hold on, you wanna look good when you get to the lifeboat, don't you?"

5. "Gesundheit."

Best of molson
Yeah. I got the idea from those floating bars at the fancy hotels except I'm standing in sewage. At least I don't have to sweep the floors so it's not all bad.

Best of sonicfrog
Using electric shears during the flood, Xong always did like living life on the edge.

Best of dadoctah
"So, can I interest you in a kangal fish pedicure?"

Best of Army of Dad
So den I terr Ar Gore "You fur of it, der is no such ting as grobar warming."

Best of Silhouette
Although the orchestra received all of the fame, the barbers on the Titanic also kept performing right up until the end.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, he was gonna make the 'oceans recede.' Any time now, Barack. No rush."

Best of mpur
Swimming Todd

Best of Rodney Dill
....Gilligan... and the clipper too.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Q: What was Lee Kim's incentive for introducing that "No nicks or cuts" guarantee?
A: wall-to-wall piranha-infested carpet

Best of Adriane
"Double Damn! that travel agent," snarled Andrew Sullivan. "I asked him to find me some well groomed Asian men, swathed in pink, and wet all the time AND THIS is where he sends me."

Beneath a Brilliant White Sky


1. Those Code Pink Protesters just get younger and prettier every year.

2. Tom DeLay's fan club welcomes him back from DWTS.

3. Moments later, Kobe's pass smacked grandma right in the forehead, putting her into a coma from which she has yet to emerge.

4. With Obama's Medicare cuts, Gramma was forced to make ends meet selling her pills at Phish concerts.

5. Although she was gonna be wrecked for her shift as a Wal-Mart greeter, Edith just had to catch some more of that fine, tight, Jonas Brother ass. Her grandson Harvey felt the same way.

Best of Double the U
She was here to see "RockBitch" but she enjoyed the other acts also.

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Chairlift" takes the stage...

Best of Matt the K
Wow. Peter Scolari has REALLY let himself go...

Best of Silhouette
"Recreational drugs are completely harmless and the government should make them legal," says 23-yr-old Amber Gibson

Best of GregMan
"Why are all these kids on my lawn?"

Best of Mr. Hankey
The Rolling Stones invite everyone with their same birthdays to have front row seats.

Best of Army of Dad
"Hey Bono, want to see if the carpets match the drapes!?"

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Airborne!


1. GYM-KATA!!!

2. "Can't you see I'm just trying to tell you that I love you?"

3. "Hey! Look at me! I'm psychokinetic."

4. "Hey! Get that golden snitch off the field! Damn kids and their Quidditch!"

5. Even though his only role in the game was the ceremonial coin toss, Barack Obama was still awarded the Heisman Trophy.

Best of S
Hey Kobe! I'm open!

Best of dadoctah
"See? I told you sports and showtunes could be combined!"

Best of Double the U
The players enjoyed throwing the cheerleader's breast implants around the field.

Best of jj
A young Rahm Emanuel's thought bubble, "Screw this macho sh!t, I'm taking up ballet".

$20,000 in Tuition well-spent


1. A clone enjoys his last day out before his organs are harvested to keep Mick Jagger alive for another month.

2. "Mick, tell us again about the time you wrestled with the giant squid."

3. At seeing this image, Sexual Harassment Panda went from being a sad panda to a suicidal panda.

4. Rick and Mike were beginning to suspect their foreplay rituals had become far too elaborate.

5. Just sayin', if there's BUTTSECKS later, it won't be a surprise.

Best of Viking04
Biff found out that stickum as lube is a MEGAFAIL!

Best of Rodney Dill
"Come back to the Packers... We'll never forget you Brent!"

Best of blue
Every time I sit next to these 2 I get on the Jumbotron...

Best of Matt the K
Receiving an inside tip on Favre's sexual proclivities, the Packers Fan Club secretly hired a couple of fluffers to woo him back.

Best of Adriane
Well ... know we know what happened to all the things at Barbara Eden's garage sale ...

Best of dub
Why cant I quit Eu, gene?

Friday, October 09, 2009

Whoa! I'm Trippin' My Nutsak in a Frenzy of Dik Play


1. "So, my deficit currently extends halfway to the Andromeda Galaxy. We expect to close that gap next year."

2. "A giant asteroid headed straight for Earth? Don't worry, my gigantic ego will deflect it."

3. "No, genius, you didn't discover a new variable red dwarf star. That's the warning light on top of the Washington Monument."

4. "And, lo, a star appeared over Kenya --- I mean, Honolulu, of course --- the night I was, um, born."

5. "Yes, we are drifting away from the sun and within a few days will live in permanent icy darkness. How can I blame Bush?"

Best of duke of red
Obama sees you masturbating.

Best of Silhouette
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a moon-shattering kaboom!

Best of GregMan
"What do you mean the universe does not revolve around me? Fix it now!"

Best of HLam
Pres. O - "What do you mean Uranus is broke...it has a crack in it? It looks okay to me."

Best of blue
Where do you put the quarter??

Best of mega
"Anybody seen Hillary around? I've been searching the known universe, and can't seem to find her."

Best of Jay Guevara
Obama: "I dunno, I kinda prefer the old type of teleprompter."

Best of Jay Guevara
Obama to Barney Frank: "OK, this thing's kinda low, but I'm looking in it now. What's the surprise you promised me?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
So what you're saying is, in billions of years, inhabitants of that galaxy will hear the people of earth laughing their asses off over my getting the Nobel Peace Prize?

Best of Mr. Hankey
Receiving more instructions from his home planet, Bar-Ack smiles to hear that his mission is still going as planned.

Worst Case of Athlete's Foot I've Ever Seen


1. "I was running away from Barney Frank and Kevin Jennings, and they ignited from sheer panic."

2. "Mom, Dad, I want you to note the flaming shoes and interlocking male symbols in the background. And I want to ask, can you take a hint?"

3. Ang Lee's remake of the 'Wizard of Oz' featured Rachel Maddow as Dorothy and a flaming pair of Adidas as the ruby slippers.

4. A very young Al Bundy receives a bitter harbinger of his future.

5. "M'Chel spontaneously combusted! I did save her $600 sneakers though... mostly."

Best of Unscrupulous
"and as you can see, I was able to completely extinguish the fire on my front porch with limited damage to my shoes. Does anyone smell dog shit?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"He was standing right there, and said 'If we award the Noble Peace Prize to an unworthy recipient, may lightning strike me down.' I saved his shoes."

Best of jeff
ORA: A young Michael Westin gets his first "Burn Notice."

Best of dadoctah
"Now let's check in and see what our Iron Chef competitors have done with this week's secret ingredient."

Best of GregMan
Not having a car to set fire to in celebration of the Obamessiah's nobel prize, Vince somehow makes do.

Best of dadoctah
"You think this is bad? You should see my jockstrap."

Best of Adriane
The Devil wears Prada, but only once ...

Best of trollcrusher
Having failed at obtaining a lucrative Cross Country scholarship, Eminem not only burns his bridges (but his shoes as well) and takes up a career as an angry white rapper with an identity problem.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Henry wasn't the brightest bulb in the pack, but he knew he'd really stepped in it this time.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Pink and Blue



Thread Winner
Somewhere there's a My Little Pony running around as bald as an onion.

Best of Matt the K
I wonder what this Blueberry Slutcake doll smells like?

Best of jeff
Notice: Senile Fairy Godmother on the loose, transforming My Little Pony's into very puzzled little girls... (hey, a theme works, run with it)

Best of Matt the K
Dammit, dadoctah. I'm still gonna go with it.
My Little Pornie

There, I said it anyway.

She's Bent (Comes With Sideboob)