Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Thursday Babe? I'm a Frayed Knot


1. "Chicks-With-Ugly-Schnozzes-Wh0-Are-Really-Bad-at-Macrame Wednesdays" was a Cap This theme that never caught on.

2. The Secretary of State was delighted to discover that Danish hookers lacked in looks what they made up for in their willingness for rough kink.

3. "That will teach you to steal my favorite pink teddy!" Adam Lambert queefed.

4. "Oh, Mr. Woods... this rope reminds me of you, brown and twisted."

5. David Letterman undid his fly and ordered Paul Schaeffer, "All right, now put the Palin wig on her!"

Best of Matt the K
Long bereft of fame and in hock with her dealer, Lorraine Newman turns to fetish porn.

Best of Army of Dad
Tie up a ginger day on Cap This.

Best of dadoctah
I don't care what you people say, Kathy Griffin is still teh hottness.

Best of mega
Bondage can be fun, as long as it doesn't prevent you from removing the white tribble that's gnawing through your skull.

Best of Submariner
"What now, Dix?" Picard's holo-deck programming just kept getting kinkier.

Best of jeff
"Okay, how do you do that 'Cat's Cradle' thing again?"

Best of Army of Dad
...gonna find out who's knotty or nice.

23 comments:

Matt the K said...

Long bereft of fame and in hock with her dealer, Lorraine Newman turns to fetish porn.

Anonymous said...

He tied himself up.

Army of Dad said...

"Oh please someone scratch my nose!"

Army of Dad said...

Mary's mother took extreme measures to stop her from biting her nails.

Army of Dad said...

Tie up a ginger day on Cap This.

Rodney Dill said...

Gordy has me tied up in knots

dadoctah said...

I don't care what you people say, Kathy Griffin is still teh hottness.

Rodney Dill said...

I was married twice, but neither took... so that's only two-half hitches.

(rimshot)

mega said...

Bondage can be fun, as long as it doesn't prevent you from removing the white tribble that's gnawing through your skull.

mega said...

Four hours later..."So, babe, next time maybe we can just use handcuffs?"

mega said...

"OK! OK already! I agree to get a nose job."

Matt the K said...

Sheetbend??! She needs a sheet bent over her face.

Jack Reacher said...

The woman represents American business.
The rope represents taxes and governmental mandates.
The nose? Well, that's just a big, honkin' nose, you know.

Submariner said...

Monkee-fist? About the closest she's likely to come to procreating.

>Rimshot<

Submariner said...

"What now, Dick?"

Picard's holo-deck programming just kept getting kinkier.

jeff said...

"Okay, how do you do that 'Cat's Cradle' thing again?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"How Big Is It, Johnny?!"
It's so big -
- You'd die of old age before she finished looking down her nose at you.
- When she sneezes, you hear it a day later.
- Restraining orders against her are measured in noses, not feet.

-OR-

Perfect metaphor for government-run health insurance - end result of 3000 pages of directions for how a doctor should apply a tourniquet.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You know the saying about how a flapping butterfly's wings can result in a tornado halfway around the world? Well, the people of Neptune just called to complain about unusual turbulence.

Army of Dad said...

Perhaps you should ask yourself why you want to undo this Gordian Knot.

Anonymous said...

Cat's Cradle. U R doing it wrong!

Army of Dad said...

...gonna find out who's knotty or nice.

Rodney Dill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Funny; I always thought "The Nose" was a guy?