Saturday, December 12, 2009

Save the Inverted Cheerleader, Save the Inverted World


1. "Lose some weight, thunder thighs!" yelled dub, as he telekinetically tossed another rejectee across the room.

2. "OK, she's levitating in an inverted position... do you still think she's NOT a witch!"

3. "Hey! From this perspective, the Obama economic figures look great!"

4. Kelly failed to stick the landing, broke her neck, was paralyzed from the waist down, and worst of all, was shunned by the rest of the squad for costing them the State Championship.

5. After seeing what the GLSEN wanted her to do with the latex glove, Kelly backflipped out of the gym, ran home, and hid under the bed.

Wicked Best of sonicfrog
This is exactly why you never let Jean Gray get drunk.

Best of mega
It turned out that the science of Gravity wasn't quite "settled", after all.

Best of S
She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers... *four feet* above her covers....
Ok, that was the only "Ghostbusters" reference I could remember.

Best of Rodney Dill
Confucius say: "Woman who fly upside down have crack up."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Tilly wasn't head cheerleader for nothing. By not shaving her armpits and upper thighs, she could create enough static electricity to hold that position for a good 8 seconds.

Best of molson
Early testing with the anti-gravity maxi pad produced some interesting results.

Best of dadoctah
"If I don't drill down to the earth's core and release the pressure, there's going to be one hell of an earthquake here in about two minutes!"

Best of dub
After 3 bean burritos from Taco Bell, Kelly was able to use her ass to blast herself into a full flip.

28 comments:

mega said...

It turned out that the science of Gravity wasn't quite "settled", after all.

dub said...

What do you call an inverted blonde cheerleader?

wait for it....


A brunette with bad breath.

dub said...

Kelly failed to stick the landing, broke her neck, was paralyzed from the waist down, and was unable to even speak...making her the first woman with the ability to shut the f*ck up for more than 2 minutes.

S said...

She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers... *four feet* above her covers....

Ok, that was the only "Ghostbusters" reference I could remember.

AnonymoUS said...

Where Diversity, Inclusiveness and Political Correctness ruined the sport of Dwarf Tossing, to everyone's surprise and glee, White 'cracker' Cheerleader tossing seemed to offend no one.

Anonymous said...

Buffy would always go out of her way to tease the boys in the balcony seats.

Jay Guevara said...

The cheers took an unusual twist when an Australian exchange student joined the cheerleading squad.

dadoctah said...

Psst...I hear Amber goes both ways!

Rodney Dill said...

Confucius say: "Woman who fly upside down have crack up."

sonicfrog said...

This is exactly why you never let Jean Gray get drunk.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Tilly wasn't head cheerleader for nothing. By not shaving her armpits and upper thighs, she could create enough static electricity to hold that position for a good 8 seconds.

-OR-

Varsity cheerleader try-outs at Psychokinesis University always attracted some verrrrry unusual talent.

-OR-

Even the denser jocks could always tell when Miriam's PMS was about to kick in.

-OR-


Tampex claims their "Earth Friendly" tampons use far less raw material than any others. Sadly, most women had to agree and make appropriate adjustments.


-OR-

Ignoring FDA warnings, Amy got the cheap butt implants that tended to swell when low pressure systems approach.

dadoctah said...

"All right, what smartass built the gym upside-down?"

Anonymous said...

With an aerial beaver shot viewed by only a select few in the crowd, the fans came to understand why those seats are called sky boxes.

Vinney

jj said...

Kelly, failing to get "that fresh feeling", discovered though that stray cats for miles were attracted by the scent.

molson said...

Early testing with the anti-gravity maxi pad produced some interesting results.

sonicfrog said...

I'm sure, somehow, in Al Gore's view of the world.... "this is a suuure siign of gloooooobal warming...".

blue said...

as she approached the floor, Debbie exclaimed "Don't worry - my faith in Obama will save me!!"

eat me said...

as a young Sarah Palin auditioned to be a cheerleader the rest of the squad commented "From here we can see her underpants!"

Submariner said...

V. the K. said...
Kelly failed to stick the landing, broke her neck, was paralyzed from the waist down, and worst of all, was shunned by the rest of the squad for costing them the State Championship.



...and was immediately confirmed as the new College Sports Czar.

Submariner said...

That? AoD created that clear lucite shoulder stand for AoM for after the college basketball games...

prince of leaves said...

Everyone felt sorry for the newly-paralyzed Kellie, sure, but they were really broken up when the game had to be cancelled until the hole her head made in the parquet could be fixed.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Tell the truth, guys, does this skirt make my butt look big?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A young Peg Hill was determined to get pregnant despite Hank Hill's notoriously small urethra and low sperm count.

WordVerify: ressolus - how far a drunk gets in making a new year's promise to stop drinking before passing out

dadoctah said...

"If I don't drill down to the earth's core and release the pressure, there's going to be one hell of an earthquake here in about two minutes!"

dadoctah said...

I always *said* Tara Reid didn't know which way was up.

dub said...

After 3 bean burritos from Taco Bell, Kelly was able to use her ass to blast herself into a full flip.

dub said...

I told you guys that "queefing for height" would just get weird.

wv: wetro...no doubt

Steve O said...

Cheer routines at Salem High North incorporated moves seldom seen elsewhere.