Friday, December 04, 2009

Romantic Goat Dinner

Brender

1. To ease the lonely nights, Habib liked to imagine he was Tiger Woods, and his goats were high-class skanks.

2. Abdul had been very careful, but he supposed the accidental meeting of his two lovers had somehow been inevitable from the beginning.

3. Wow! Usually, middle eastern restaurants don't even have salad bars.

4. "Bad news. In order to keep Nancy Pelosi in power, all of you will have to sacrificed on the Altar of the Black Pentagram."

5. 'Ow to speak Palestinian: Menage a trois.

Best of Maogwai
The three "Tops" drew straws to see who would deflower Habib tomorrow night.

Best of Rodney Dill
Abdul was chagrinned to realize he'd inadvertantly stumbled into a Hay Bar.

Best of Rodney Dill
Men who Stray With Goats

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
For the cover of the New Saturday Evening Post - a touching, updated Norman Rockwell painting of a typical all-American holiday family dinner in East Jersey.

Best of GregMan
Petting zoo or middle-eastern brothel? You decide.

Best of molson
Pimp Laden says slow down a little on the chow ladies. We wouldn't want you to lose your girlish figures. It would be bad for business.

Best of Unscrupulous
You know what sucks? When my Friday is slow as hell and all I want to do is see my name posted in the "best of" column but V the K is off somewhere boinking Lord knows what. ...and goats. They suck too.

Best of dadoctah
"Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a goat when the alfalfa blooms and the autumn moon is bright."

Best of Army of Dad
Disney Dubai remake of The Lady and the Tramp.

Best of mega
"C'mon you useless stupid goats. Put this straw man together NOW. I have to deliver it to Obama's speechwriter within the hour."

Best of Steve O
Habib, in the afterlife, with his top 3 virgins.

33 comments:

jj said...

Perhaps the HolyOne will hold his hand over us and bless this union.

Maogwai said...

The three "Tops" drew straws to see who would deflower Habib tomorrow night.

Rodney Dill said...

Abdul was chagrinned to realize he'd inadvertantly stumbled into a Hay Bar.

Rodney Dill said...

Men who Stray With Goats

Carpe Phlogiston said...

For the cover of the New Saturday Evening Post - a touching, updated Norman Rockwell painting of a typical all-American holiday family dinner in East Jersey.

WordVerify: nonagin- what we will say if V ever uses fart in the presence of a future Thursday babe

Unscrupulous said...

Achmed had difficulties ending his twisted relationships on the farm, after all, they'd been doing it since they were 'kids'.

GregMan said...

They're horny, all right...

GregMan said...

"Smirk all you want, infidel bastards, but MY mistresses will never sell embarassing voicemails to US Magazine."

GregMan said...

Petting zoo or middle-eastern brothel? You decide.

molson said...

Pimp Laden says slow down a little on the chow ladies. We wouldn't want you to lose your girlish figures. It would be bad for business.

Unscrupulous said...

Why? Why couldn't Achmed remember to simplay keep away from the farm animals?

Because he for goat.

Whacko said...

80 goats in the herd and Habib picked the two ugliest. Loser!

Jay Guevara said...

Insert obligatory Sarah Jessica Parker reference re the goat on the right.

Unscrupulous said...

You know what sucks? When my Friday is slow as hell and all I want to do is see my name posted in the "best of" column but V the K is off somewhere boinking Lord knows what.

...and goats. They suck too.

dadoctah said...

"Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a goat when the alfalfa blooms and the autumn moon is bright."

Army of Dad said...

Disney Dubai remake of The Lady and the Tramp.

Army of Dad said...

Abdul Ali Hassan in Straw Pole.

I will never understand muslim porn.

Army of Dad said...

"Wanna Shag?

divine miss m said...

Got any more hiding in the grotto, Al-Hef?

Passionate Conservative said...

Satan's back up singers.

Passionate Conservative said...

Habibi was eager for darkness to fall, so he could engage in his first threesome.

mega said...

Habib thought and thought about where he could find a couple of hangers for his new shirts, but came up with nothing.

mega said...

The food was always delicious, true, but lunch breaks at Obama cabinet meetings were way too brief.

mega said...

"C'mon you useless stupid goats. Put this straw man together NOW. I have to deliver it to Obama's speechwriter within the hour."

Rodney Dill said...

"I only listen to Gary Glitter's voice in my head."

dadoctah said...

If you tell people in New Mexico or west Texas you're a vegan, they send you out to eat with the goats.

Rodney Dill said...

"Wait, I was holding the straws. How did I get the last straw?"

Steve O said...

Habib, in the afterlife, with his top 3 virgins.

Anonymous said...

Breaking news! ACORN caught on tape again. This time at work on the Karzi election registering goats to vote for him with feed.

Vinney

blue said...

Hey! it's cheaper than buying women drinks & dinner!

Mr. Hankey said...

MSNBC claims proof that most Iranians favor Ahmadinejad, but in actuality the source was just a Straw Poll.

Rodney Dill said...


One little, two little, three little, Schwarma.

Submariner said...

Whispered voiceover: "We've replaced Habibib's normal Falafal with used barnyard straw. Let's see if he, OR his clientele, can tell the difference..."