Monday, December 07, 2009

Ready, Aim...


1. "Nyet, I'm not going to give the English spy an elaborate death, I'm just going to shoot the bastard. Then, I'm going to take his car and his woman."

2. "Crazy Vladimir is taking aim at high prices and poor quality! C'mon down to Crazy Vladimir's! On Route 22 next to Dunkin' Donuts."

3. Russia gets this. We get a dork with a plastic light saber. F my white house.

4. "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marcellus Wallace look like?"

5. "Yeah, the flashlight attachment is nice. Keeps the deer fixated while you blow his brains out."

Before I get to the Best ofs, can I say I have a newfound respect for Vlad Putin? He's tough. economically savvy, and he does what's best for his country without giving a damn what the world thinks. All of which puts him way ahead of the Metrosexual Ninny running our country.

Best of GregMan
In Russia, little friend says hello to YOU.

Best of Army of Dad
(ORA) And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patri.
Et Fili.
Spiritus Sancti.

Best of Army of Dad
So this is what happens when you cross Dirty Harry and Ivan Drago.

Best of Vinney
"it's a great weapon, Mr. Putin. I just sold one to a Swedish woman in Orlando, Florida."

Best of Rodney Dill
Obama: "HA.... only a fool brings a gun to a teleprompter fight."

Best of Jay Guevara
"I didn't get a 'harrumph' out of that guy."

Best of metalgarth
When commies daydream part 1
"Nyet.... I'm not going to "tear down this wall". Go play with your chimp old man."

Best of Steve O
Comrade Putin demonstrates how to make peace with your enemies.

Best of Jack Reacher
ORA: "General Turgidson, did you actually call my people ignorant peons?"

Best of mega
Despite the cool gadgetry, without the red dot, Putin completely missed the kitten.

Best of Silhouette
"And in related news, Prime Minister Putin's turkey did not fare as well."

Best of Submariner
No. He WON'T "be back..."

Best of HLam
"Comrade M'chelle, hold still while I take care of that ugly thing seated on your shoulders."

Best of dadoctah
"Male-Pattern Hair Loss Man? Someone needs to sit down with Stan Lee and tell him to pack it in."

42 comments:

Citizen Grim said...

His shooting stance is awful, fwiw...

GregMan said...

In Russia, little friend says hello to YOU.

GregMan said...

In Russia, little friend says hello to YOU.

Army of Dad said...

(ORA) And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patri.
Et Fili.
Spiritus Sancti.

Army of Dad said...

Russians are so funny, they all want to play cowboy.

Army of Dad said...

So this is what happens when you cross Dirty Harry and Ivan Drago.

Army of Dad said...

"Now, bow to me Mr. President!"

blue said...

Давай, Марка мой день!

GregMan said...

Once Vladimir found out M'chelle had the hots for him, he took extreme measures to protect himself.

Anonymous said...

"it's a great weapon, Mr. Putin. I just sold one to a Swedish woman in Orlando, Florida."

Vinney

Rodney Dill said...

"No Mr. Bond... I expect you to die."

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "HA.... only a fool brings a gun to a teleprompter fight."

Jay Guevara said...

"Bring me some more global warming nuts. I'm on a roll here."

Jay Guevara said...

"I didn't get a 'harrumph' out of that guy."

molson said...

In Russia, president shoots you.

dadoctah said...

"Wow. So they even got an app for *that*!"

metalgarth said...

When commies daydream part 1

Nyet.... I'm not going to "tear down this wall". Go play with your chimp old man.

Steve O said...

Somehow, it's not exactly like Dukadis on the tank...

Steve O said...

Comrade Putin demonstrates how to make peace with your enemies.

Anonymous said...

Putin, fondly remembering the old days...such as last summer when he whacked a few Georgians.

Viking04 said...

Right handed, but left eyed, a lousy wingshot, I will bet.

Jack Reacher said...

"Not feeling so holy now, are you, V the K? Cat got your tongue?"

Jack Reacher said...

ORA: "General Turgidson, did you actually call my people ignorant peons?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Honey, the man is here about the gas bill..."

Jack Reacher said...

In Russia, you compensate for small gun.

mega said...

Despite the cool gadgetry, without the red dot, Putin completely missed the kitten.

mega said...

God, what an f'ing poseur. The boom mic should be coming out of the RIGHT temple.

Silhouette said...

"And in related news, Prime Minister Putin's turkey did not fare as well."

Anonymous said...

"Go ahead punk, make my day.

I always wanted to say that comrade."

Vinney

Matt the K said...

Vlad's played the one-upsmanship game to the hilt. He even commissioned this custom-made Super-Soaker for his nephew when he saw Sasha and Malia playing with water balloons.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Arms Dealer Thawtbubbleski- Thank gawd it's only a waterpistol. If that idiot held the real thing like that, we'd be lucky if all it did was rip his arm off and rake the ceiling.
Putin Thawtbubbleski- Tell me again, George... you looked into my one good eye and saw my WHAT? Soul is a 4-letter word, George.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Isn't putting a laser light on a machine pistol a bit ridiculous, Dimitri?
But Sir, it's the Stoli dispenser as per General Yakov's specific instructions!
Oh... well, nevermind.

Submariner said...

No. He WON'T "be back..."

Submariner said...

AoD finally meets dub in person.

Submariner said...

When the MSM imagines a Republican solution to Welfare, this is what they imagine.
I'm just sayin'

RonF said...

As opposed to our President's method of "Ready, Fire, Aim"

sonicfrog said...

ORA: God, the Russian version of the Oozinator is way way WAY hotter and bad ass than the American one!

Kaptain Krude said...

"Cheney got to shoot a lawyer. Do I get to shoot lawyers? No. He shot his lawyer with a shotgun. Do I get a shotgun? No. I have a lot of catching up to do."

WV: Hellaing - "Der will be much hellaing around here when I get done, da!"

HLam said...

"Comrade M'chelle, hold still while I take care of that ugly thing seated on your shoulders."

Mr. Hankey said...

Russia's new digital camera is causing a ruckus in Moscow.

Submariner said...

What happens in warehouse, STAYS in warehouse, da?

dadoctah said...

"Male-Pattern Hair Loss Man? Someone needs to sit down with Stan Lee and tell him to pack it in."