Tuesday, December 08, 2009

It Looks Pretty Gay to me

Troll Crusher

1. He had to resort to disguises to get around the restraining order, but Andrew Sullivan would do anything to get Tiger Woods to 'play his back nine.'

2. There were no real surprises among the first 16 mistresses that came out. Then, things got weird.

3. "Uh, hey, Akamarrr 17 of Alpha Regula VI? It's me, Tiger. Yeah, I need you to do me a huge favor. Take your name off your phone."

4. Who is that man in the green latex body suit? Why does he keep calling me 'jackass?' And why does Shooter McGavin keep smirking?

5. "I really need to sink my putts into more holes... and practice my yiddish."

Wicked Best of Rodney Dill
The Invisible Meteorologist never grasped that his super power didn't extend outside the news studio.

Best of Rodney Dill
Golf cart crash dummy

Best of metalgarth
"Crouching Tiger no match for Lime Sherbet Man"

Best of GregMan
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Loon

Best of Army of Dad
After a series of benders, The Gimp from Pulp Fiction is still struggling to find his identity.

Best of Rodney Dill
Crouching Tiger, Stalking Gecko

Best of molson
The greentards came out in force to protest Tiger's use of a carbon belching Escalade to destroy a fire hydrant when he could have used a Prius instead.

Best of dadoctah
"Have no fear, citizens! This is a job for *Captain Pistachio*!"

Best of dub
The gut-roll on the blonde almost eclipses Captain Limeaid.

Best of Mr Hankey
Tiger's good conscience was pissed off.

Best of Mr. Right
Perhaps, in retrospect, Tiger should never have been so brazen as to hire men in numbered day-glo bodysuits to stand just to the right of each of his mistresses in public.

Best of Submariner
Buehler takes extra precautions not to be recognizable on TV this time when he skipped.

39 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Ninja Stealth... fail

Rodney Dill said...

Sully was hoping for a hole in one on the 17th.

WV: lionit (not tigerit)

Rodney Dill said...

Golf cart crash dummy

Rodney Dill said...

Never up, never in

Rodney Dill said...

Soylent green is... freakin' me out.

Rodney Dill said...

Most of the greens were Bermuda, but the 17th was obviously Bent.

Rodney Dill said...

...and I'm the lawnmower

Rodney Dill said...

"Earl will always be a 'TEN' to me... on the Stimpmeter."

Rodney Dill said...

What's the difference between a golf green and a lawyer?
You're only allowed to use soft-spikes on a golf green.

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm dyslexic.... I thought you meant flog."

metalgarth said...

"Crouching Tiger no match for Lime Sherbet Man"

Matt the K said...

Spurned checkout girl Amanda Moore had hired 16 previous hecklers get Tiger to acknowledge her, but he didn't turn around this time either.

Matt the K said...

"Pssst...hey caddy, get me that chick's number."

"The blonde in the tank top?"

"Nah...already did 'er. I mean the freaky flat-chested one in the kinky latex suit."

GregMan said...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Loon

GregMan said...

Man, that camel toe is just so... wrong.

GregMan said...

After all his mistresses left him, Tiger had to bring his Inflatable Love Doll Model #17 with him when he travelled on tournaments.

Army of Dad said...

After a series of benders, The Gimp from Pulp Fiction is still struggling to find his identity.

sonicfrog said...

Steve was sure this would keep Tiger away.

dub said...

Trust me....you dont want him to show you the 19th hole.

Rodney Dill said...

Crouching Tiger, Stalking Gecko

Rodney Dill said...

"At least I've still kept my GEICO endorsement"

-or-

Is it just me or have the GEICO ads jumped the shark.

molson said...

The greentards came out in force to protest Tiger's use of a carbon belching Escalade to destroy a fire hydrant when he could have used a Prius instead.

SamEyeAm said...

Let us play with your look...

dadoctah said...

"Have no fear, citizens! This is a job for *Captain Pistachio*!"

Anonymous said...

"Hey Green Giant, give me a Ho, Ho, Ho and send them to my hotel room."

Vinney

dub said...

The gut-roll on the blonde almost eclipses Captain Limeaid.

Steve O said...

Miriam could just not accept that her boyfriend was gay.

Rodney Dill said...

The Invisible Meteorologist never grasped that his super power didn't extend outside the news studio.

Rodney Dill said...

"I guess moving to Wetwang is out of the question now."

Rodney Dill said...

"I thought Randy's number was 81."

Mr Hankey said...

He was just seventeen...and you know what I mean...

Mr Hankey said...

Tiger's good conscience was pissed off.

Mr. Right said...

"Dear golf fans, we deeply regret that due to an unfortunate 'typo' in the new copies of our official rule book, something other than flags were used to mark the holes at our most recent PGA event. We would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize and to reassure you all that this 'typo' has since been corrected."

Mr. Right said...

Perhaps, in retrospect, Tiger should never have been so brazen as to hire men in numbered day-glo bodysuits to stand just to the right of each of his mistresses in public.


[Believe it or not, I swear the word verification is: "slything"! And no, I'm not kidding!]

Mr. Right said...

Tiger's "schedule" became so busy, the women at each PGA event would have to take one of his hired "numbers" with them wherever they went just so he could keep track of who was next in line.

Submariner said...

Rodney Dill said...
The Invisible Meteorologist never grasped that his super power didn't extend outside the news studio.


Awesome RD.

Submariner said...

Buehler takes extra precautions not to be recognizable on TV this time when he skipped.

Rodney Dill said...

Thanks Submariner

Rodney Dill said...

...explains why there wasn't a Copper Surfer to complement the Silver one.