Wednesday, December 16, 2009
1. "Hey, Did you all, um, know those toilets aren't, um, hooked up?"
2. "In, um, other good news, ACORN has, um, registered all the say laborers in the parking lot to vote."
3. Look at all those dumb plumbers, electricians, and drywall hangers. I'd like to see them try and organize a community.
4. The last thing America's idiot president heard before the walruses trampled him to death was, "MAH BUKKETS! YOU HAS MAH BUKKETS."
5. Obama relishes opportunities to go out in public among all the people he feels superior to.
Wicked Best of GregMan
The Obamessiah walks out to accept his Home Remodeler Of The Year award.
Best of GregMan
"Oh look, that gay guy from CNN has his own line of window blinds."
Best of Whacko
"Guess this store is out of arugula."
Best o' Army of Dad
Yet another foreign import found at the Home Depot.
Best o' Rodney Dill
"Damn, I wish Michelle wouldn't send me grocery shopping... I can't find no Maters, Taters, and Yams for anything."
Best of blue
Damn secret service, I said take me to a whorehouse not a warehouse
Best of Jack Reacher
"I found incandescent bulbs in Aisle 5. Shut this place down, boys."
Best of paul
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
***Presidential Photo Ops***
Clinton: on Normandy Beach playing with stones hand-selected and sucked clean by Monica
Bush: in front of subtle "Mission Accomplished" banner 15 years and trillions of dollars before US finally extricates itself from a quagmire of monumental proportions
Obamalama: lost and bewildered trying to find an english-speaking clerk at a local lumber warehouse filled with cheap crap made overseas
Best of HLam
"M'chelle asked me to bring home some foundation for her. One of those 5 gallon buckets of spackle should do the trick."
Best o' Submariner
Good news! I found windows that even I can't mistake for a door. Biden; have them installed all the way around the first floor on Pennsylvania Ave...
Best o' Rodney Dill
Best o' Passionate Conservative
Hey, you! Where can I find the EZ-Glide? It's kind of an emergency!