Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Fergie Gropes Her... Penis?


1. "Well, my little friend, we're at the Mayo Clinic, so I guess this is goodbye."

2. "Scuse Me While I Whip This Out," a GLSEN tranny volunteer practices his/her lines before addressing a class of fifth graders.

3. What happens in Crev Gwir Fel Gwydyr, stays in Crev Gwir Fel Gwydyr.

4. "Oh, bloody gob-smacking hell!" Sully suddenly realizes why Tiger Woods didn't fall for his disguise.

5. "Dammit! My quart-size baggy of heroin fell out of my vag again." Megan Fox was a terrible drug mule.

Best of blue
What the Crev Gwir Fel Gwydyr - where did this come from?

Best of Vinney
"Well, I think I just solved the ladies room problem at the Dolphin's games."

Best of dub
Biggest.Clitoris.Ever
(if you dont count Obama)

Best of Army of Dad
You aren't supposed to use an actual ragwhen you are 'on the rag'.

Best of molson
Yup. The celly is in place and set to vibrate. Now to just wait for the call.

Best of Jack Reacher
That damned squirrel shows up everywhere these days.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
First came self-propelled Roomba vacuums, then robo-lawnmowers. Now, Ron Popiel introduces a miniature robotic device that trims, dethatches, vacuums and excites overly hirsute women - the 2010 Sasquatch AyeKaRoomba - not $299, not $199, just 4 easy payments of $19.99 plus s/h.

Best of dadoctah
"Oh boy", thought Dr Beckett. "What fresh hell have I Leaped into *this* time?"

Best of Rodney Dill
Damn breast implant slippage

31 comments:

blue said...

Fergie finally realized the Liberal Dream - sexually equality

blue said...

what the Crev Gwir Fel Gwydyr - where did this come from?

Anonymous said...

"Well, I think I just solved the ladies room problem at the Dolphin's games."

Vinney

dub said...

Biggest.Clitoris.Ever

(if you dont count Obama)

eat me said...

why Tiger rejected this one

Nose said...

I've got this boom....boom......WOW!

wv: boxid...kind of hard on this one.

Nose said...

"I hope you know, I hope you know...
That this has nothing to do with you.
It's personal. Myself and I, we've got some
Straightening out to do."

Army of Dad said...

No no no, you are supposed to stuff your bra!!

Army of Dad said...

"My panties personal massager goes wherever I go!"

Army of Dad said...

Worst shoplifter ever.

Army of Dad said...

You aren't supposed to use an actual ragwhen you are 'on the rag'.

Army of Dad said...

Sack-o-marbles.

Army of Dad said...

Here we have captured the exact moment when the Michael Jackson crotch grab jumped the shark.

Anonymous said...

I think I need to update my organ donor card.


Vinney

molson said...

Yup. The celly is in place and set to vibrate. Now to just wait for the call.

Jack Reacher said...

"Wanna know what comes between me and my Calvins? Actually, there IS something in there..."

Jack Reacher said...

That damned squirrel shows up everywhere these days.

Jack Reacher said...

"Wait 'til they get a load of me!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey, Geithner; I got yer stimulus package right here!"

Jack Reacher said...

Dear, that doesn't actually qualify as concealed carry.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

First came self-propelled Roomba vacuums, then robo-lawnmowers. Now, Ron Popiel introduces a miniature robotic device that trims, dethatches, vacuums and excites overly hirsute women - the 2010 Sasquatch AyeKaRoomba - not $299, not $199, just 4 easy payments of $19.99 plus s/h.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Where will you be when your hernia kicks in?

-OR-

Pre-natal Tip #479: If baby begins to emerge at an inconvenient moment, gently grasp the head with thumb and forefinger and calmly proceed to the nearest CVS pharmacy.

dadoctah said...

"Oh boy", thought Dr Beckett. "What fresh hell have I Leaped into *this* time?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Jeff only realized his wife Daisy's addiction to self-pleasuring was out of control when she took her venus butterfly out on a shopping errand and was struck by a bus.

-OR-

URGENT Consumer Products Safety Commission Warning: the new Blackberry Panty Holster has been linked to 183 serious injuries and 12 fatalies as easily distracted women tend to walk into telephone poles and fall down open manholes and elevator shafts.

WordVerify: ressiuns - "The ressiuns are coming, the ressiuns are coming!"

Kaptain Krude said...

Fat stomach, droopy breasts, flabby arms, thunderous thighs - yep, dub ain't gonna like this one.

metalgarth said...

It's not a game of "find the man in the rowboat". It's find the man in the aircraft carrier

Rodney Dill said...

"Gesundheit!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The hat says it all. Only in LA would a sun-wrinkled crone walk around in a public parking lot wearing those clothes, gaudy jewelry and a tacky knockoff purse while trying to read caller id on a cell phone thru her shorts.

(thanks V, I'm about to boil my eyes, hoping they'll heal in time for the Thursday babes)

dadoctah said...

She's got a white woman's face and a black woman's body. And a black man's schvantz.

Rodney Dill said...

Damn breast implant slippage

Anonymous said...

"Congressman Franks, she's in the parking lot. Something tells me the applicant for the receptionist position is a keeper."

Vinney