Monday, November 30, 2009
OMG, No Way!
1. Unfortunately, he had no choice. The Teleprompter said, "Raise your glass with the napkin still attached like some frickin' retard."
2. "What the hell is wrong with this idiot?" Prime Minister Singh wondered silently.
3. It's actually worse than it looks, the adhesive holding the napkin to the glass is one of Dear Leader's boogers.
4. And as soon as he returned from the bathroom, the president raised a toast.
5. "And I'd like to raise a toast to the draperies section at KMart, in honor of M'Chel's dress."
Best of jeff
Best of Passionate Conservative
I'll have to raise my glass in a, uh, um, toast....hey, just what the f*ck is that thing on your head? I've always wanted to know...
Best of Vinney
"I'm a Dominic the Great. No applause please. Save it for the end."
Best of Unscrupulous
In honor of my new Vegan friends, I am announcing, effective immediately, the shipment of 10,000 sides of beef to help feed the poor in the great and honorable country of Vega.
What? Too little?
Best of GregMan
Barry wins "Phone Rep Of The Year", presented by the Vice-President in charge of Dell Technical Support.
Best of GregMan
Suddenly it became all the rage in Hollywood, universities, and main stream media offices across the land to attach little pieces of toilet paper to the glasse when having a drink.
Best of Submariner
"...for the brothers that are no longer with us..."
Best of Jay Guevara
"I salute you, sir! Your 7-11 has the very best Slurpees in the world!"
Best of Matt the K
"See, look, my glass has a turban too, just li-- ah damn, came unwrapped."