Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Science Project


1. AoM's kid spends a lot of time in the principal's office.

2. "What? I lost to the Smell My Farts kid? F Affirmative Action!"

3. Billy won first prize for being smart enough to preempt Barney Frank's busy, busy hands.

4. "I got the idea when Mrs. LaTourneau asked me to help with her breast exam."

5. And the number one reason there aren't more women in science...

Best of blue
I'm glad I live in the cornbelt..my cousin in SF had to do a study on dicks

Best of Matt the K
Always the smartass, Billy wrote only "YOUR MOM" in the folder marked 'Findings'.

Best of Steve O
Quinn likes to explain how he got his pictures to stick to the posterboard without using any tape.

Best of Oiao
The 21st Century version Doogie Howser, just prior to starting his highly profitable Vegas breast augmentation practice......

Best of Unscrupulous
Anyone stupid enough to open the "Findings" binder deserves what they get.

25 comments:

blue said...

I'm glad I live in the cornbelt..my cousin in SF had to do a study on dicks

eat me said...

but Mon -the magazines under the bed are part of my science project!

jeff said...

"Yes, Some dude named Hugh Hefner funded this study - why?"

jeff said...

"I wanted to do a comparison on the milk too, but my girlfriend dried up already."

Submariner said...

"They're not just for breakfast anymore..."

molson said...

Aww look. Our little tity baby is all growed up.

Unscrupulous said...

"and in conclusion, I find that the homo sapien female teats are far superior to the labradoodle in size, volume and ummmm.... oh yeah, taste!"

Unscrupulous said...

For my final exam, I will be doing a research report on pigs. Chauvinistic ones, apparently.

Anonymous said...

Master Flynt, you're in big trouble.

Vinney

Matt the K said...

Give the boy an A, for sheer chutzpah.

Matt the K said...

And from there, Johnny went on to make a respectable living as the best "Guess Your Cup Size" barker at the carnival.

Matt the K said...

Always the smartass, Billy wrote only "YOUR MOM" in the folder marked 'Findings'.

dadoctah said...

Science grade: B+
Spelling grade: D-

Submariner said...

My guess is that the "exhaustive" part of the study involved those Maxims and some "me time" Johnny spent in the bathroom...

Steve O said...

Quinn likes to explain how he got his pictures to stick to the posterboard without using any tape.

Oiao said...

At least his parents know he's happy but he ain't gay!

dadoctah said...

While I still have an appreciation for them, at my age I'm actually more interested in the grant money.

Matt the K said...

This week, on a very special "WKRP in Cincinnati", Lonnie Anderson deals with her son's budding Oedipal Complex.

Oiao said...

Nice invoking of a SAT Word Matt......

Oiao said...

The 21st Century version Doogie Howser, just prior to starting his highly profitable Vegas breast augmentation practice......

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bad News: Ernie's sci-fair project dashed any scholarship chances, so he never went to college.
Good News: 25 years later, Ernie still gets a stiffy refilling cream dispensers at Denny's while recalling the first and last time he touched an udder.

-OR-

The rural village of Carbuncle was shocked and dismayed with Tommy's science fair project. Not so much the subject matter but results of his double blind udder taste test that show farmers prefer Guernsey cows to their wives by more than 7 to 1.

Unscrupulous said...

How he managed to get sperm samples into a three ring notebook I'll never know.

Unscrupulous said...

or... anyone stupid enough to open the "Findings" binder deserves what they get.

Submariner said...

That one on the right? It's my Mom in her favorite black and white outfit...

Kaptain Krude said...

"Lousy Leroy! I was going to do my science project on what my farts smell like! I'll show him!"

wv: - ducking. Poor Jerry wasn't that great of a speller, so his secondary effort at pornography missed the mark.