Monday, November 09, 2009

Loser in the Park

Brender
1. "Billy, ever see America's Worst Living President naked?"

2. "You see, Billy, Al Qaeda will never attack Washington as long as Obama and Pelosi are destroying the country for them."

3. Billy felt a malaise coming on, and he didn't even know what a malaise was.

4. "Billy, Zargon will pay you 20,000 Quatloos for your soiled underwear." Jimmy Carter learned the profitable side of pedophile fetishism from his old pal, Yassir Arafat.

5. 20,000 captions later, Kobe finally threw the ball.

Best of BigdaddyNick
He screwed the whole world in his hands.

Best of molson
If only I had come up with that man created global warming scam, I'd be worth billions now.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, but it was a really big ass rabbit. Now let show you some other countries I lost."

Best of mega
"See, Billy, every spot on this ball will be completely peaceful when the Jews just go away."

Best of dadoctah
Isn't it a little early for the obligatory picture of Father Time passing the world on to Baby New Year?

Best of metalgarth
Back in my day we didn't have the little sissy marbles you kids have now.

Best of mega
"My fingers represent the vice-grip of failed, sentimentalist statism, crawling incessantly over the plant, and the globe represents the ... well, planet. Now do you understand why I love Obama so much, Billy?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Super glue?!? Very funny, you little sh*t.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Thank God you knew the Heimlich maneuver son."

Best of Jay Guevara
"And there's boiled peanuts, and fried peanuts, and peanut butter, and peanut brittle, and ..."

Best of Mr. Hankey
The final scene of Lost

31 comments:

Matt the K said...

"Clutch my orb Billy, CLUTCH IT!!!"

Matt the K said...

See what I'm pointing to here, Johnny?...This is your Grandma's farm, where the horsies are. Do what I tell you, Johnny...I still have my old set of NORAD keys.

HLam said...

Loser ex-president: "He's got the whole world in his hands...he's got the whole wide world, in his hands. SING DAMN IT!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Nex' time Ima droppin' dis right on dat wabbit."

Rodney Dill said...

"Al Gore dropped the ball, and I ain't givin' it back."

Rodney Dill said...

"So you're the Habitat for Inanity President?"

BigdaddyNick said...

He screwed the whole world in his hands.

blue said...

and Obama's balls are this big, even if he is only 1/2 black


(I could not resist)

molson said...

If only I had come up with that man created global warming scam, I'd be worth billions now.

dadoctah said...

"Of course, when I was your age, it seemed *much* bigger...."

Jay Guevara said...

"Yeah, but it was a really big ass rabbit. Now let show you some other countries I lost."

mega said...

"See, Billy, every spot on this ball will be completely peaceful when the Jews just go away."

dadoctah said...

Isn't it a little early for the obligatory picture of Father Time passing the world on to Baby New Year?

metalgarth said...

Back in my day we didn't have the little sissy marbles you kids have now.

Unscrupulous said...

"Ummmhhhhmmmm. Yes Mr. President, I see. You were in your basement playing with your toys, not knowing that your idiot brother put Super-Glue your Earth Bouncy Ball. Yeah, that does suck!"

Unscrupulous said...

"So I was standing by this tree with Mrs. Clinton and she was showing me this fun looking bouncy ball and this squirrel came by and..."

divine miss m said...

Grandpa Jimmy's GPS wasn't as accurate as one might have hoped.

Oiao said...

"Jonnie, this is my new model of Habitat for Humanity for a blue Smurf."

mega said...

"My fingers represent the vice-grip of failed, sentimentalist statism, crawling incessantly over the plant, and the globe represents the ... well, planet. Now do you understand why I love Obama so much, Billy?"

Submariner said...

I wants's it, my preciousssssss...

Submariner said...

So, anyways, there I was saving the nation from triple-digit inflation by lusting in my heart, thanks to Michael Moore sitting with me in the box during Bill's speach, until Dan Rather propositioned Ted Kennedy with a bottle of Billy Beer...

Every family's got that ONE relative at the reunion...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Super glue?!? Very funny, you little sh*t.

-OR-

Billybob, this is what I wanted to do with Queen 'lizbeth's boobs, but I settled for swapping spit with her. Hee hee, 'twas THE biggest faux pas by a prez until Bush One puked on that Jap PM's lap!


-OR-

Naaah, that vile rabbit was a helluva lot bigger than this. Why, it was as big as a canoe, I'll tell you what!

Rodney Dill said...

"Thank God you knew the Heimlich maneuver son."

Submariner said...

Never let your right hand know what the left is doing, son.

Submariner said...

Why yes, Jason, I DO have an "unusually wide stance." Wanna know why?



v word - fockingu - nuff said.

Jay Guevara said...

ORA: "And there's boiled peanuts, and fried peanuts, and peanut butter, and peanut brittle, and ..."

Mr. Hankey said...

"Watch what I can make my Secret Service patrol do next..."

Mr. Hankey said...

The final scene of Lost

jeff said...

"Billy, can you believe your grandparents made me the most powerful man on this planet? Explains a lot, doesn't it?"

Steve O said...

In one hand, a prop to explain his Peace Prize while the other hand deals with a pee surprise.

mega said...

Basically, Jimmy, the goal is to crush the entrepreneurial spirit out of everyone living on this thing, while simultaneously getting prices to go up.