1. "Billy, ever see America's Worst Living President naked?"
2. "You see, Billy, Al Qaeda will never attack Washington as long as Obama and Pelosi are destroying the country for them."
3. Billy felt a malaise coming on, and he didn't even know what a malaise was.
4. "Billy, Zargon will pay you 20,000 Quatloos for your soiled underwear." Jimmy Carter learned the profitable side of pedophile fetishism from his old pal, Yassir Arafat.
5. 20,000 captions later, Kobe finally threw the ball.
Best of BigdaddyNick
He screwed the whole world in his hands.
Best of molson
If only I had come up with that man created global warming scam, I'd be worth billions now.
Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, but it was a really big ass rabbit. Now let show you some other countries I lost."
Best of mega
"See, Billy, every spot on this ball will be completely peaceful when the Jews just go away."
Best of dadoctah
Isn't it a little early for the obligatory picture of Father Time passing the world on to Baby New Year?
Best of metalgarth
Back in my day we didn't have the little sissy marbles you kids have now.
Best of mega
"My fingers represent the vice-grip of failed, sentimentalist statism, crawling incessantly over the plant, and the globe represents the ... well, planet. Now do you understand why I love Obama so much, Billy?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Super glue?!? Very funny, you little sh*t.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Thank God you knew the Heimlich maneuver son."
Best of Jay Guevara
"And there's boiled peanuts, and fried peanuts, and peanut butter, and peanut brittle, and ..."
Best of Mr. Hankey
The final scene of Lost
31 comments:
"Clutch my orb Billy, CLUTCH IT!!!"
See what I'm pointing to here, Johnny?...This is your Grandma's farm, where the horsies are. Do what I tell you, Johnny...I still have my old set of NORAD keys.
Loser ex-president: "He's got the whole world in his hands...he's got the whole wide world, in his hands. SING DAMN IT!"
"Nex' time Ima droppin' dis right on dat wabbit."
"Al Gore dropped the ball, and I ain't givin' it back."
"So you're the Habitat for Inanity President?"
He screwed the whole world in his hands.
and Obama's balls are this big, even if he is only 1/2 black
(I could not resist)
If only I had come up with that man created global warming scam, I'd be worth billions now.
"Of course, when I was your age, it seemed *much* bigger...."
"Yeah, but it was a really big ass rabbit. Now let show you some other countries I lost."
"See, Billy, every spot on this ball will be completely peaceful when the Jews just go away."
Isn't it a little early for the obligatory picture of Father Time passing the world on to Baby New Year?
Back in my day we didn't have the little sissy marbles you kids have now.
"Ummmhhhhmmmm. Yes Mr. President, I see. You were in your basement playing with your toys, not knowing that your idiot brother put Super-Glue your Earth Bouncy Ball. Yeah, that does suck!"
"So I was standing by this tree with Mrs. Clinton and she was showing me this fun looking bouncy ball and this squirrel came by and..."
Grandpa Jimmy's GPS wasn't as accurate as one might have hoped.
"Jonnie, this is my new model of Habitat for Humanity for a blue Smurf."
"My fingers represent the vice-grip of failed, sentimentalist statism, crawling incessantly over the plant, and the globe represents the ... well, planet. Now do you understand why I love Obama so much, Billy?"
I wants's it, my preciousssssss...
So, anyways, there I was saving the nation from triple-digit inflation by lusting in my heart, thanks to Michael Moore sitting with me in the box during Bill's speach, until Dan Rather propositioned Ted Kennedy with a bottle of Billy Beer...
Every family's got that ONE relative at the reunion...
Super glue?!? Very funny, you little sh*t.
-OR-
Billybob, this is what I wanted to do with Queen 'lizbeth's boobs, but I settled for swapping spit with her. Hee hee, 'twas THE biggest faux pas by a prez until Bush One puked on that Jap PM's lap!
-OR-
Naaah, that vile rabbit was a helluva lot bigger than this. Why, it was as big as a canoe, I'll tell you what!
"Thank God you knew the Heimlich maneuver son."
Never let your right hand know what the left is doing, son.
Why yes, Jason, I DO have an "unusually wide stance." Wanna know why?
v word - fockingu - nuff said.
ORA: "And there's boiled peanuts, and fried peanuts, and peanut butter, and peanut brittle, and ..."
"Watch what I can make my Secret Service patrol do next..."
The final scene of Lost
"Billy, can you believe your grandparents made me the most powerful man on this planet? Explains a lot, doesn't it?"
In one hand, a prop to explain his Peace Prize while the other hand deals with a pee surprise.
Basically, Jimmy, the goal is to crush the entrepreneurial spirit out of everyone living on this thing, while simultaneously getting prices to go up.
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