Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Katie Couric Makes Ipecac Superfluous


1. "Aunt Katie, you always dance dirty whenever they play 'Doll Parts.' Is there something about your lost weekend with Courtney Love you're not telling us?"

2. "You can stop dancing, Katie. That 'news report' that Glenn Beck has terminal butt cancer turned out to be another DailyKos internet hoax."

3. "Now, normally, the 'top-girl' would be wearing a strap on..." Little Jenny regrets asking Katie Couric about her days at Sarah Lawrence.

4. After trying for 45 minutes, Katie finally had to admit she didn't know how to do the French Mistake.

5. "Hey, kid, your mom and I would like some grown-up time. Why don't you go to the movies or something?"
Best of Vinney
Remember that piece I did on clononoscopies? My butt has never been the same since then.

Best of Jack Reacher
In her defense, the kids did ask how she got her job.

Best of Unscrupulous
"I've always tried to do a really good job every day, with each interview, and make the person I'm speaking with feel comfortable... Now smack my ass you nasty ho!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Upon seeing the orb of her dead husband in the TV screen, Katie does a bump & grind routine while her daughter pulls the chakra from her hips in an attempt to communicate with the dead.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Help us, Obama-won Kenobi. You're our last hope."

Best of dadoctah
"You'll have to excuse Katie. She just saw the Levi Johnston spread and her knees buckled."

Best of Submariner
"Bark for me, monkey woman..."

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Remember that piece I did on clononoscopies? My butt has never been the same since then.

Vinney

Jack Reacher said...

In her defense, the kids did ask how she got her job.

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey, George Soros; I'm open!"

racerboy said...

Standard cap #43: Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

jj said...

The real "Hokie-Pokie"?

Barco Sin Vela II said...

"YOOOOOOH, Rinny!!!!"

Unscrupulous said...

"I've always tried to do a really good job every day, with each interview, and make the person I'm speaking with feel comfortable... Now smack my ass you nasty ho!"

dadoctah said...

Every time they bring out the karaoke machine, you can count on Katie to be first in line to sign up for "My Humps."

Adriane said...

Kids today. Spent all that money on edumacation and they can't even do a Heimlich maneuver ...

Mr. Hankey said...

I call this move "The Bush Doctrine"

Mr. Hankey said...

Upon seeing the orb of her dead husband in the TV screen, Katie does a bump & grind routine while her daughter pulls the chakra from her hips in an attempt to communicate with the dead.

metalgarth said...

No, Jo-Lo dances like this!

Steve O said...

Auntie Katie gets low low low low low low lowwwww.

Oiao said...

"Anti Katie. You know Sarah Palin is going to see these photos."

dadoctah said...

Q: "So how's the colonoscopy business these days?"

A: "Looking up."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Help us, Obama-won Kenobi. You're our last hope." The remake of Star Wars took some real liberties.

GregMan said...

"Mmm mmm mmm, Barack Hussein Obama..."

dadoctah said...

"You'll have to excuse Katie. She just saw the Levi Johnston spread and her knees buckled."

wv: fatedge. No elaboration necessary.

Submariner said...

Katie proves that she knows EXACTLY where she'll be when her laxative kicks in...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Not now, honey. Mommy's preparing to do a "Neanderthal" on Mr. Rather...

Submariner said...

"Wedding Splashers"

Submariner said...

"Bark for me, monkey woman..."

blue said...

If Sarah Plain could dance like this she would be VP today

Anonymous said...

"Can you see my head in there?"