Monday, November 30, 2009

Granny and Jethro

Brender
1. "There's nothing to be afraid of, grandma. It's just a bus with a suspiciously high clearance."

2. ORA: The little Bushman couldn't figure out how the hell this idiot had been elected. The Gods Must Indeed Be Crazy.

3. "For the last time you friggin' moron, I am NOT Aretha Franklin."

4. "Never mind Matt Lauer, Grandma. He just loves to smell my shoulders."

5. "It's just lucky I always wear 'Oops I crapped my pants' brand adult diapers." "Shut up, Barry. Nobody cares."

Best of metalgarth
Will you make me a waffle that I can eat in peace, Aunt J.?

Best of eat me
Boy, don't that wife of yours know how to iron shirts?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thanks to the tireless efforts of the revamped FEMA, Flip Wilson was discovered alive and well and living in a Louisiana mangrove swamp under the nom de plume, Auntie Geraldine.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Nah, don't worry about it, it's perfect. Just the thing to wear the conferment of a posthumous Medal of Honor. I'd have worn my aloha shirt, but it's in the laundry."

Best of jeff
"You never call, you never write, you never deposit millions into my bank account...."
"Shut up, Grandma."

Best of Kaptain Krude
"And as I stop here dramatic pause to celebrate this woman's look directly into the cameras rich tapestry of life experiences, I am struck by continue walking the overwhelming watch for dog shit on ground efforts of our fellow citizens fake sympathetic smile."

Best of Matt the K
The Autobiography of Miss Jane Bushman

Best of mega
Even Sheila Jackson Lee couldn't muster a smile at the post-West Point unity photo op.

22 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

You're my new Helen Thomas, sweetie.

metalgarth said...

Will you make me a waffle that I can eat in peace, Aunt J.?

metalgarth said...

ahhhh what the hell. She ain't uglier than M'Chelle

metalgarth said...

Carl meets Hans Moleman's african grandmother. Hilarity ensues. WORST. EPISODE. EVER. for the 6th time this season alone.

blue said...

why dis white man standing next to me?

Mephitis said...

At least she dresses better than the first Woo.. lady.

Anonymous said...

"That's right. Under my new Health Care plan everyone will be issued a "Boo-Boo Bow" in place of aspirin."

eat me said...

Boy, don't that wife of yours know how to iron shirts?

Anonymous said...

"My wife has an outfit just like yours. Let me see your belt."

Vinney

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thanks to the tireless efforts of the revamped FEMA, Flip Wilson was discovered alive and well and living in a Louisiana mangrove swamp under the nom de plume, Auntie Geraldine.

blue said...

I hope my white relatives are better looking than this

Jay Guevara said...

Obama thought bubble: "She looks just like she does on that bottle of syrup."

Jay Guevara said...

"Nah, don't worry about it, it's perfect. Just the thing to wear the conferment of a posthumous Medal of Honor. I'd have worn my aloha shirt, but it's in the laundry."

Mr. Hankey said...

At the opening ceremonies for "Disney World Somalia", Barack questions the insertion of a Mammy Mouse character.

AnonymoUS said...

The almost lost, but now reclaimed, famous photo used by the Obama Campaign Team to prove to gullible independent voters that he is actually half white.

AnonymoUS said...

Liberal Professor to students as this photo is projected: “And as undeniably demonstrated by this photo of the older generation female, astride her second generation offspring, Darwin was implicitly correct in how the adaptation of species.........”

jeff said...

"You never call, you never write, you never deposit millions into my bank account...."
"Shut up, Grandma."

Kaptain Krude said...

"And as I stop here dramatic pause to celebrate this woman's look directly into the cameras rich tapestry of life experiences, I am struck by continue walking the overwhelming watch for dog shit on ground efforts of our fellow citizens fake sympathetic smile."

dadoctah said...

Eharmony.com epic fail.

Matt the K said...

The Diary of Miss Jane Bushman

Submariner said...

Results of a "Key Club Swap" Obamala-style.

mega said...

Even Sheila Jackson Lee couldn't muster a smile at the post-West Point unity photo op.