Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Despair... Supersized


1. Happy Meals would be wasted on these people. Oxygen is wasted on these people.

2. People who definitely will not be buying Sarah Palin's book are often easy to spot.

3. "Oh, look over there, Pat Boone is slitting his wrists with a spork over what America has become."

4. "Did you see the look on that food service worker's face when we asked for the Curly Fries of Despair with an extra large Onion Rings of a meaningless existence?"

5. "I paid for that Coke. Now, you totally have put out, or at least open up that papercut on your index finger and let me lick it."

Best of mpur
The Marilyn Manson fan club gets smaller and smaller every year.

Best of GregMan
Sometimes a good stiff dose of ennui doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Best of Jay Guevara
Berkeley Republicans caucusing.

Best of Adriane
It is NOT homophobia! It's common sense! Jack Nicholson and Ozzy Osbourne should NOT be having children together!

Best of dadoctah
Tony Orlando & Dawn: the Next Generation.

Best of molson
Oh cheer up already. 2012 is just right around the corner.

Best of metalgarth
White Corpse Paint after labor day?

Best of Dactyl
The food court's new BrainBurgers franchise attracted a more inarticulate and slow-moving clientele than usual.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Who are you calling a chalk-faced whore?"

Best of racerboy
$6.99 - Nomables of the Beast

Best of mega
Charles: "If I rail at HotAir some more, you think that'll get me back in the game?"
"Give me that coke or your banned."
"I like your purple velvet dress. But from now on, you can only wear green."

Best of Matt the K
Chalk Faced Bores.

54 comments:

mpur said...

The Marilyn Manson fan club gets smaller and smaller every year.

GregMan said...

Sometimes a good stiff dose of ennui doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

GregMan said...

Buyer's Remorse sets in on yet more Independants who voted for The One.

GregMan said...

I see the White House's Diplomatic Protocol advisors are having another meeting.

wv: lesslype - I dunno, I was actually hoping for a little more lype.

Jay Guevara said...

Berkeley Republicans caucusing.

metalgarth said...

Burger King Diamond... EPIC MARKETING FAIL

Army of Dad said...

Not everyone can have a Coke and a smile.

metalgarth said...

Some Black Metal Gods have "Grim and Frostbitten Kingdoms" other can claim to be "Tyrants Who Protect the Realm" and some just "Hang Out and the Food Court"

metalgarth said...

"at the Food Court"

Adriane said...

It is NOT homophobia! It's common sense! Jack Nicholson and Ozzy Osbourne should NOT be having children together!

dadoctah said...

"So what qualities do you have that would make you a good member of our investment firm?"

dadoctah said...

"After lunch, how's about we go check out the Miley Cyrus movie?"

dadoctah said...

Tony Orlando & Dawn: the Next Generation.

metalgarth said...

How Army of Mom met Army of Darkness

metalgarth said...

"Sure thing V, go ahead and take out picture. Just don't post it on Ghey Tuesday"

Tim said...

Future English lit majors of america

Future social workers of america

jeff said...

Surprisingly, they were saddened at John Hughes death, their hopes for a remake of The Breakfast Club dashed forever.

molson said...

What no fries with that?

molson said...

Oh cheer up already. 2012 is just right around the corner.

Viking04 said...

Triple thought bubble: With our trust funds, we can dress like this AND bitch about THE MAN.

metalgarth said...

White Corpse Paint after labor day?

metalgarth said...

Of course I'm the real Gene Simmons. Why do you ask?

blue said...

I wanted to wear black face but I was afraid of being called racist

Jay Guevara said...

"It's all George Bush's fault that I can't find a job."

wv: "shpzuzzy" - just seems appropriate, somehow

Oiao said...

When you just know that the 'Meds' aren't working!

Dactyl said...

The food court's new BrainBurgers franchise attracted a more inarticulate and slow-moving clientele than usual.

Oiao said...

KFC major fail: Marketing campaign to break into the urban counter culture demographic.

Steve O said...

Have you ever noticed that all non-conformists dress very much alike?

prince of leaves said...

Like swine flu, the Solana virus didn't live up to its hype, producing an epidemic of zombies that were merely morose and self-absorbed.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Who are you calling a chalk-faced whore?"

dadoctah said...

Monochrome: it's what's for dinner.

Oiao said...

"We are going to sit here until they bring us free fries to leave!"

Submariner said...

Evidently, New Moon is playing at the Metroplex.

Submariner said...

"...one more thing V the Koward, I'm tired of you presenting yourself as some holier than thou do-gooder Christian. The pictures of t!ts and animals having sex on your blog reveal the deep sickness you truly possess and explain your desire to hide behind "faith" and "good deeds" to cover up what a sick f*** you really are."

racerboy said...

$6.99 - Nomables of the Beast

wv: fiess - what the fast food worker thought they were trying to order

Mr. Hankey said...

..and employment numbers continue to go down under the Obama administration.

Submariner said...

Thought bubble: "GAIA! That broad's wearing white after Labor Day!"

Submariner said...

We'll continue after the break with E True Story's;
"Whatever Happened to Vincent Damon Furnier?"

Submariner said...

OK, which one of you ordered the Ipecac Malt?

Steve O said...

The Goths don't like their picture taken.

They're almost like the Amish!

dadoctah said...

"I say we sue the tanning parlor for every cent they've got for doing this to us!"

mega said...

"I've been on ten job interviews, and no one's hired me yet. Can you believe it?"

mega said...

Charles: "If I rail at HotAir some more, you think that'll get me back in the game?"

"Give me that coke or your banned."

"I like your purple velvet dress. But from now on, you can only wear green."

mega said...

The Great Wall seemed somehow less magestic after the Chicoms had brought in capitalism with its cheesy fast food restaurants.

mega said...

Palestinians railed and railed at the Separation Wall of Apartheid Cruelty outside Jerusalem.

mega said...

Ian Hadrian couldn't part with the family heirloom, even as his McDonald's empire flourished.

mega said...

Napolitano's border wall, running along the seedy strip malls of southern Arizona, kept some illegals out but mostly let goth freaks in.

Matt the K said...

You'd think the kid might be *happy* about being Gene Simmon's illegitimate son...

Matt the K said...

Wendy's attracted a whole new crowd with their Celtic Frosties.

Matt the K said...

I'm Azrial; this is Mordor and Scimitar. Together, we are *VAMPYR*!!! Are you ready to ROCK!??!! Ok, Hang a few, I've got an order of fries coming.

Matt the K said...

After getting so many black eyes and busted lips at school, Dennis just said f**k it, and accentuated the positive.

Matt the K said...

Chalk Faced Bores.

Matt the K said...

Norway of McDonald's hoped to attract the after-thrash-concert crowd with their new mascots: Rønååld McDeåthnååld Grim-Møsh, and Mayor McLesbian.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Nothing to see here, move along folks... just a little cocaine, ecstasy, valium and alcohol party with new friends to help Kelsey Grammer relax and forget that he jumped the shark in Down Periscope.