Friday, November 27, 2009

The Crack of Dawn


1. "Yes, Rick, I noticed your new thong. No, I'm still not interested."

2. "I'm not one of them fancy metrosexuals, but what I lack in imagination, I make up in sheer savage animal lust. More coffee?"

3. "It all began with the usual crude cat-calls. Next thing I know, I gots her naked in the back of my truck and we're swappin' underwear."

4. "I notice you are wearing a ladies thong. May I ask what you thought of the new Twilight movie?"

5. The Village People and Men At Work combine for a reunion tour.

Best of
"I'm wearing it to punish myself for voting for Obama."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
After Playtex captured a major share of the obese male demographic with their Cross Your Heart Manssiere, Hane's began targeting plumbers and construction workers with a line of No ButtCracks for Him thongs.

Best of dadoctah
This is stage one of Frank's transition. Next week he starts the hormone injections.

Best of blue
Adam Lambert looks in the mirror & sees his future

Best of eat me
Hey Ralph, I see you got one of those new fangled inflatable jock straps...how dey hanging?

Best of Adriane
Bob, I'm OK with you wearing a thong. I'm OK with you wearing a thong that really isn't your size or color. But where do you get off telling me that drinking Starbucks is for queers!?!

17 comments:

Whacko said...

"Yeah I know, it looks queer and all but look who's butt crack is showing."

Rodney Dill said...

"No... frankly I don't believe its for bungie jumping."

Rodney Dill said...

Down on her luck, Rosie O'Donnell turns to construction work.

Achilles said...

"Rick, pull your pants up! What if Tiger Woods were driving by the work site and got distracted?" (Too soon?)

Anonymous said...

"I'm wearing it to punish myself for voting for Obama."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After Playtex captured a major share of the obese male demographic with their Cross Your Heart Manssiere, Hane's began targeting plumbers and construction workers with a line of No ButtCracks for Him thongs.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Last week, Ernie graciously accepted the little gift Frank bought at Vick's Secret. However, when asked, "Does this thong make my butt look fat?" will Frank dare answer? Will he live to weld another day? Stay tuned for "As the Girder Turns" following this message from our sponsor.

dadoctah said...

ObRodney: "How long have I been wearing these? Ever since my wife found 'em in my glove compartment."

dadoctah said...

This is stage one of Frank's transition. Next week he starts the hormone injections.

mega said...

"What is Wasilla like?"
Sometimes, the NY Times online multimedia version of Jeopardy was so easy, anyone could do it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The really cool part of wearing it is how well I can play the star spangled banner after one of Margie's kielbasa and sauerkraut suppers. We sent a demo CD to Letterman.

Matt the K said...

Richie says yes to hot coffee, but no to crack.

blue said...

Adam Lambert looks in the mirror & sees his future

eat me said...

Hey Ralph, I see you got one of those new fangled inflatable jock straps...how dey hanging?

Oiao said...

Bubba was not as pissed about the guys making fun of him as he was about the OSHA fine for not wearing natural fiber fire retardant underwear materials.

WV - insess (what the guy in the red underwear is a product of)

mega said...

"Your plan to murder hookers sounds like fun. But you should go to Arkansas first, so if'n you get caught, you won't have to serve time."

Adriane said...

Bob, I'm OK with you wearing a thong. I'm OK with you wearing a thong that really isn't your size or color. But where do you get off telling me that drinking Starbucks is for queers!?!