Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Bidenmerkel


1. Mr. Burns thought Merkel's rack was exxxxx-cellent!

2. "The number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be a three-letter word: tits, t-i-t-s, tits."

3. "Fraulein, would you like to hear my motorboat impression?"

4. "If only I had ein Sharpie, zen I could connect zie liver spots on his head." thought the German Chancellor.

5. "That reminds me," Merkel thought. "I should pick up some beef jerky while I'm in America."

Best of Rodney Dill
It rubs the lotion on its skin,
or it gets done by Joe again.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Ever trying to impress, Joe does the "Dipping Bird" into the glass of water.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Have you heard the one where the VP and two underage pages go into a bar? Oh, good, I thought my secret was out.

Best of Vinney
"This will kill you. Two Indians walk into a Dunkin Donuts..."

Best of prince of leaves
Biden thought bubble: "Ist es schon Donnerstag?!?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"All will be in readiness, master," Biden practices his Igor impression.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Iz eet safe?"
(Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man)

Best of mega
Please, I'm BEGGING you, show me the titties.

Best of mega
"So, Merkster, hypothetically speaking, if you had accidentally glued your hands together, how would you deal with it?"

Best of Viking04
Thought bubble: "blödsinnig Arschloch"

Best of Matt the K
Dick Van Dyke's grandpa guest stars in a very special "Murder, She Wrote"

34 comments:

HLam said...

"Can I please be your VP? Please, please please.....

Rodney Dill said...

It rubs the lotion on its skin,
or it gets done by Joe again.

Jay Guevara said...

"Can I see your merkels? Please?"

"What, again? OK."

dadoctah said...

"I've changed my mind. Cheney's *not* the creepiest thing I've ever seen in my life."

wv: memazon. Where you can buy pop culture references online.

blue said...

yes, I got these beads in New Orleans during Mardi Gra

Mr. Hankey said...

Ever trying to impress, Joe does the "Dipping Bird" into the glass of water.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Young & The Restless soap opera plays on television, while The Old & The Desperate soap opera plays at the Senate Bijoux.

-OR-

Beggars can't be choosers
A telephoto lens captures the courtship ritual of parasites. First, the male grimaces and pleads. This is followed by nervous giggling. A vicious gavel strike will indicate rejection of his advances. ~ David Attenborough, BBC Nature

-OR-

OLD MAN BREATH
Some affairs of state just make you want to wretch.

-OR-

Have you heard the one where the VP and two underage pages go into a bar? Oh, good, I thought my secret was out.

Adriane said...

a politician bent over a desk, check...
a German woman dressed in black, check...
Yep, Ang Lee's gotta porn flick hiding in there somewhere!

Whacko said...

"I see you're working on your grip, Mr. Vice President, which is good because your hands are all you're going to have later tonight."

Anonymous said...

"This will kill you. Two Indians walk into a Dunkin Donuts..."

Vinney

molson said...

So hows about a quickie? Who knows. This time I might even be able to achieve a full quorum.

prince of leaves said...

Biden thought bubble: "Ist es schon Donnerstag?!?"

Double the U said...

...and then can we have some strudel?

prince of leaves said...

"No, Angela, I've never heard of a Pomeranian Nutcracker...what is it?"

prince of leaves said...

"Shtop calling me 'Frau Merken', and I'll shtop calling you 'Mister Bidet'..."

Kaptain Krude said...

"All will be in readiness, master," Biden practices his Igor impression.

trollcrusher said...

"MINE. MINE. ALLLLLLLL MINE!" Biden chirped to himself. Little did German Chancellor Merkel know that prior to her speech on the House floor, V.P. Biden had secretly slipped a roofie into her glass of water and would soon be within his clutches.

Rodney Dill said...

Merkel: "What do you call that joke?"
Biden: "The Aristocrats."

jj said...

Merkel thought bubble, "OMG, Biden left his Ben-Wa Balls on the desk."

Army of Dad said...

Ich ben essen Berliner

Army of Dad said...

"We are goign to test you...not!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Madame Chancellor, wanna to hear my Kennedy impersonation?:
Ich bin wahnsinnig geil


-OR-

"Iz eet safe?"
(Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

sorry AOD, your JFK wasn't displayed when i started futzing around with my entries.

mega said...

Please, I'm BEGGING you, show me the titties.

mega said...

"So, Merkster, hypothetically speaking, if you had accidentally glued your hands together, how would you deal with it?"

mega said...

"So....need any spots in Delaware to put a BMW or Mercedes plant?"

Submariner said...

Giggity, giggity, gooooo.

Submariner said...

Hey Merky, watch me pull a rabbi out of my @ss!

Oiao said...

Biden to Merkel: "What you say we throw that trouble making Lieberman into the Senate break room oven?"

jeff said...

"Hey Angela, want to get more social with this Democrat?"

molson said...

...And all it will cost you is your soul.

Oiao said...

"I'll play Mr. Burns, and you'll play Smithers."

Viking04 said...

Thought bubble: "blödsinnig Arschloch"

Matt the K said...

Dick Van Dyke's grandpa guest stars in a very special "Murder, She Wrote"