Monday, November 16, 2009

Begging for a Ritual Ass-Kicking

Brender

1. "Hey, there's some cocaine on your shoe."

2. "In my fantasy, he bows the other way," --- Andrew Sullivan.

3. "Oops. my bad, Emperor. For a minute, I thought you were George Soros."

4. "Does this look like head lice?"

5. "I'm not bowing intentionally, it's just that I have absolutely no spine."

Best of James Mcenanly
"What is thy bidding, my master?"

Best of metalgarth
Yes, I would be honored to distribute Mr. Sparkle in my home prefecture.

Best of HLam
"Please accept my country's apologies for bombing the crap out of you. To make up for it here is a CD compilation of all my speeches as well as Karate Kid 1 thru 10."

Best of Jay Guevara
"I am here to give America's apologies for their bombing the crap out of you. Of course, that was way before my time, and I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't even a community organizer then, so it's pre-history. You know I'm half African, too, right? I'm sure you've read my books. Someday I'll have to do that too. I know you've seen me on TV, and heard me on radio. I bet you've been eagerly awaiting me actually being here - I guess I could say "I'm the one you've been waiting for!" Now you've seen me in the flesh, which I know is a big thrill for everyone like you who gets to see me.

Anyway, enough about you. I want to make up for the wrongdoing of the country that elected me, so I hereby give you a commemorative edition DVD of Tora Tora Tora in a format that won't play in Japan. Here, I'll autograph it for you.

By the way, did you know I got the Nobel Peace Prize?"

Best of Steve O
Obama adds a touch of symbolism to his efforts to recreate the "Japanese Economic Miracle of 1990 to 2009"

Best of Matt the K
Empress Michiko await most anxious for join hand honable husband pass on robot blakedance move from Plesident Erectric Boogaroo.

Best of dub
Minutes later, Obama destroys negotiations by pulling Suzy Yakasakis rip cord too soon.

Best of Oiao
Obama appears to have installed an extra bowing joint in the middle of his back after the Saudi incident.

27 comments:

James Mcenanly said...

"What is thy bidding, my master?"

Achilles said...

I appreciate the offer, Mr. President, but I am not George Takei.

metalgarth said...

Yes, I would be honored to distribute Mr. Sparkle in my home prefecture.

Anonymous said...

The empress is so embarrassed, she's ready to parachute out of there!

GregMan said...

Yes, Barney Frank is my new Chief of Protocol, why do you ask?

GregMan said...

"Just getting ready for the 2012 election results, Your Majesty."

satted said...

Akihito thought bubble: Damn right, after 60 years of funding your parties efforts to buy power you will bow to me. And now that we own your ass, get ready for the pain.....

Silhouette said...

Pleader of the Free World.

HLam said...

"Please accept my country's apologies for bombing the crap out of you. To make up for it here is a CD compilation of all my speeches as well as Karate Kid 1 thru 10."

blue said...

back up dear, remember Bush One threw up on the prime minister & this one looks like he is ready to hurl.....

eat me said...

pull my finger

duke of red said...

"Ah, so."
"Whaddid you call me?"

Jay Guevara said...

Riff on Hlam's entry:

"I am here to give America's apologies for their bombing the crap out of you. Of course, that was way before my time, and I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't even a community organizer then, so it's pre-history. You know I'm half African, too, right? I'm sure you've read my books. Someday I'll have to do that too. I know you've seen me on TV, and heard me on radio. I bet you've been eagerly awaiting me actually being here - I guess I could say "I'm the one you've been waiting for!" Now you've seen me in the flesh, which I know is a big thrill for everyone like you who gets to see me.

Anyway, enough about you. I want to make up for the wrongdoing of the country that elected me, so I hereby give you a commemorative edition DVD of Tora Tora Tora in a format that won't play in Japan. Here, I'll autograph it for you.

By the way, did you know I got the Nobel Peace Prize?"

jeff said...

Obama demonstrates that of the Clinton presidency, he misses Monica the most.

dadoctah said...

Oh, what the heck....

AIIEEE!!! GOJIRA!!!

Barco Sin Vela II said...

"Honorable Driver, have you seen the President of the United States?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Ah, I'm sure you rove me rong time, but thank you just the same."

Steve O said...

Obama adds a touch of symbolism to his efforts to recreate the "Japanese Economic Miracle of 1990 to 2009"

Matt the K said...

"Rowah"
"Owww."
"Rowah!"
"Owww!!"
"Rowah stiwh!"
"OWWWWWW!!!"
"Velly good"
"Damn, Prime Minister-- you got you a STRONG-ass grip!"

Matt the K said...

Empress Michiko await most anxious for join hand honable husband pass on robot blakedance move from Plesident Erectric Boogaroo.

Matt the K said...

His Imperial Majesty meets His Pimperial Majesty.

molson said...

Nooo. I'm not bowing. It's just that if I get one more of those prostate massages, you won't be able to peel my lips off of my wingtips.

dub said...

Hmmm, you're right. Even when I get closer, I still cant see an Asian dick.

dub said...

Minutes later, Obama destroys negotiations by pulling Suzy Yakasakis rip cord too soon.

blue said...

if you think this is bad, wait until you see me bow to the Chinese guy

Jay Guevara said...

Akihito to wife: "Psst. Quick, get my samurai sword. I give Americans a break."

Oiao said...

Obama appears to have installed an extra bowing joint in the middle of his back after the Saudi incident.