1. "So, my deficit currently extends halfway to the Andromeda Galaxy. We expect to close that gap next year."
2. "A giant asteroid headed straight for Earth? Don't worry, my gigantic ego will deflect it."
3. "No, genius, you didn't discover a new variable red dwarf star. That's the warning light on top of the Washington Monument."
4. "And, lo, a star appeared over Kenya --- I mean, Honolulu, of course --- the night I was, um, born."
5. "Yes, we are drifting away from the sun and within a few days will live in permanent icy darkness. How can I blame Bush?"
Best of duke of red
Obama sees you masturbating.
Best of Silhouette
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a moon-shattering kaboom!
Best of GregMan
"What do you mean the universe does not revolve around me? Fix it now!"
Best of HLam
Pres. O - "What do you mean Uranus is broke...it has a crack in it? It looks okay to me."
Best of blue
Where do you put the quarter??
Best of mega
"Anybody seen Hillary around? I've been searching the known universe, and can't seem to find her."
Best of Jay Guevara
Obama: "I dunno, I kinda prefer the old type of teleprompter."
Best of Jay Guevara
Obama to Barney Frank: "OK, this thing's kinda low, but I'm looking in it now. What's the surprise you promised me?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
So what you're saying is, in billions of years, inhabitants of that galaxy will hear the people of earth laughing their asses off over my getting the Nobel Peace Prize?
Best of Mr. Hankey
Receiving more instructions from his home planet, Bar-Ack smiles to hear that his mission is still going as planned.
32 comments:
Obama sees you masturbating.
"So, this is, um, how I, um, bowed to the Saudi, um, King."
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a moon-shattering kaboom!
The None prepares to apologize for bombing the moon.
"Hey M'chelle, come here! You can see your home plant of Qo'nos with this thing!"
"What do you mean the universe does not revolve around me? Fix it now!"
Girl behind Chairman Zero "Wait till he discovers that I put grease around the eye hole!"
Pres. O - "What do you mean Uranus is broke...it has a crack in it? It looks okay to me."
where do you put the quarter??
"Sorry, Mr President, but we didn't get a chance to raise the tripod after Berlusconi was here."
Viewing a black hole in outer space.
Or maybe its outer space viewing a black hole...???
Kathy got out the paddle. It was weird stuff, but the pay was good, and the free trips to Scandinavia every few months were over the top.
"Anybody seen Hillary around? I've been searching the known universe, and can't seem to find her."
Teh One goes to extraordinary lengths to look up Hillary's skirt.
heh...word verification is "licking"
The Moon? Never heard of it. This is just like when you jokers tried to tell me there were only 50 states.
"So, with this thing I can see the snipe we were hunting? Cool!"
10 days after this photo was published, THE ONE was nominated for the Nobel Prize for astrophysics.
no, you tell him the lens cap is still on
"Why is the boys' shower room on the top of the building?"
Obama: "I dunno, I kinda prefer the old type of teleprompter."
Grinning girl: "Watch this. I put super glue on the eyepiece."
Obama to Barney Frank: "OK, this thing's kinda low, but I'm looking in it now. What's the surprise you promised me?"
Obama can now claim that things are looking up.
uhhhh no..... the wide angle lens isn't quite wide enough for M'Chele's ass
Hey, now he's qualified for a PhD in Outerspace, or something.
President Obama wins the first ever Nobel prize for micro-astronomy.
So what you're saying is, in billions of years, inhabitants of that galaxy will hear the people of earth laughing their asses off over my getting the Nobel Peace Prize?
Hey, I can see Uranus. What? Why is everyone laughing?
Receiving more instructions from his home planet, Bar-Ack smiles to hear that his mission is still going as planned.
ORA: "Oh G-d, I wish I was a loofah..."
Still trying to find the change we were looking for...
"OK, Ima let you finish. Ima let you finish, but I just want to say, Stephen Hawking was the best physicist of all time. Of ALL time, ya'll."
Post a Comment