Friday, October 09, 2009

Whoa! I'm Trippin' My Nutsak in a Frenzy of Dik Play


1. "So, my deficit currently extends halfway to the Andromeda Galaxy. We expect to close that gap next year."

2. "A giant asteroid headed straight for Earth? Don't worry, my gigantic ego will deflect it."

3. "No, genius, you didn't discover a new variable red dwarf star. That's the warning light on top of the Washington Monument."

4. "And, lo, a star appeared over Kenya --- I mean, Honolulu, of course --- the night I was, um, born."

5. "Yes, we are drifting away from the sun and within a few days will live in permanent icy darkness. How can I blame Bush?"

Best of duke of red
Obama sees you masturbating.

Best of Silhouette
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a moon-shattering kaboom!

Best of GregMan
"What do you mean the universe does not revolve around me? Fix it now!"

Best of HLam
Pres. O - "What do you mean Uranus is broke...it has a crack in it? It looks okay to me."

Best of blue
Where do you put the quarter??

Best of mega
"Anybody seen Hillary around? I've been searching the known universe, and can't seem to find her."

Best of Jay Guevara
Obama: "I dunno, I kinda prefer the old type of teleprompter."

Best of Jay Guevara
Obama to Barney Frank: "OK, this thing's kinda low, but I'm looking in it now. What's the surprise you promised me?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
So what you're saying is, in billions of years, inhabitants of that galaxy will hear the people of earth laughing their asses off over my getting the Nobel Peace Prize?

Best of Mr. Hankey
Receiving more instructions from his home planet, Bar-Ack smiles to hear that his mission is still going as planned.

32 comments:

duke of red said...

Obama sees you masturbating.

HLam said...

"So, this is, um, how I, um, bowed to the Saudi, um, King."

Silhouette said...

Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a moon-shattering kaboom!

GregMan said...

The None prepares to apologize for bombing the moon.

GregMan said...

"Hey M'chelle, come here! You can see your home plant of Qo'nos with this thing!"

GregMan said...

"What do you mean the universe does not revolve around me? Fix it now!"

HLam said...

Girl behind Chairman Zero "Wait till he discovers that I put grease around the eye hole!"

HLam said...

Pres. O - "What do you mean Uranus is broke...it has a crack in it? It looks okay to me."

blue said...

where do you put the quarter??

dadoctah said...

"Sorry, Mr President, but we didn't get a chance to raise the tripod after Berlusconi was here."

Anonymous said...

Viewing a black hole in outer space.
Or maybe its outer space viewing a black hole...???

mega said...

Kathy got out the paddle. It was weird stuff, but the pay was good, and the free trips to Scandinavia every few months were over the top.

mega said...

"Anybody seen Hillary around? I've been searching the known universe, and can't seem to find her."

Passionate Conservative said...

Teh One goes to extraordinary lengths to look up Hillary's skirt.

heh...word verification is "licking"

molson said...

The Moon? Never heard of it. This is just like when you jokers tried to tell me there were only 50 states.

Jack Reacher said...

"So, with this thing I can see the snipe we were hunting? Cool!"

Viking04 said...

10 days after this photo was published, THE ONE was nominated for the Nobel Prize for astrophysics.

Anonymous said...

no, you tell him the lens cap is still on

Jay Guevara said...

"Why is the boys' shower room on the top of the building?"

Jay Guevara said...

Obama: "I dunno, I kinda prefer the old type of teleprompter."

Jay Guevara said...

Grinning girl: "Watch this. I put super glue on the eyepiece."

Jay Guevara said...

Obama to Barney Frank: "OK, this thing's kinda low, but I'm looking in it now. What's the surprise you promised me?"

Jay Guevara said...

Obama can now claim that things are looking up.

metalgarth said...

uhhhh no..... the wide angle lens isn't quite wide enough for M'Chele's ass

paul said...

Hey, now he's qualified for a PhD in Outerspace, or something.

steve o said...

President Obama wins the first ever Nobel prize for micro-astronomy.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

So what you're saying is, in billions of years, inhabitants of that galaxy will hear the people of earth laughing their asses off over my getting the Nobel Peace Prize?

dub said...

Hey, I can see Uranus. What? Why is everyone laughing?

Mr. Hankey said...

Receiving more instructions from his home planet, Bar-Ack smiles to hear that his mission is still going as planned.

Capt. Queeg said...

ORA: "Oh G-d, I wish I was a loofah..."

sonicfrog said...

Still trying to find the change we were looking for...

Anonymous said...

"OK, Ima let you finish. Ima let you finish, but I just want to say, Stephen Hawking was the best physicist of all time. Of ALL time, ya'll."