1. "Barney Frank was right, you little boys do have soft, warm skin."
2. "That's a bad touch, Mr. Obama. Just like your safe schools czar showed me over and over again."
3. "Gross, I hate kissing smokers. It's like licking an ashtray."
4. "Mr. president, of all the power-crazed, Marxist radical America-haters I know, I love you best!"
5. "Psst, hey Jamal, the president is trippin' balls and thinks I'm the Travelocity gnome."
Best of GregMan
"No, Mr. President, you can't borrow my birth certificate!"
Best of Capt. Queeg
"Psst, Mr. Obama...where da white womens at?"
Best of metalgarth
Magic Negro Mind Melds often cause Dawn's head to explode
Best of Dactyl
Best of mega
"I want to be President someday! Of course, because of you, that won't be possible for about ten thousand more years."
Best of prince of leaves
When Obama felt the twinge of a pulled hair, he had no idea that little Ronald was actually a Young Republican infiltrator, and that the plucked hair would be a key ingredient in a blasphemous ritual later that night.
Best of molson
Don't worry kid. I'm stealing your future to make a better America. Now give us a hug.
Best of Rodney Dill
Best of Jay Guevara
"MmmmmmMMmmmmMMmmm. I love that little boy smell."
Best of Adriane
You know, I was just about your age when Grandpa Stanley took me over for some happyfundrinks at Commie Frank's place. I still can't remember what happened after that ...