Friday, October 16, 2009

Cannibal Corpse


1. Grandma, the other, other, other white meat.

2. "Hey, I got an idea. Let's photoshop this to make it look like Rush Limbaugh is eating the corpse of a black man and see if Huffington Post will run it. Aw, who am I kidding, of course they'll run it."

3. Peasants Feasting on the Corpse of Capitalism is hung in the White House next to that orange "Indecision" thing.

4. After stealing Nancy Pelosi's scarf, the villagers tried to feast on her corpse, but found it stringy and largely made of plastic.

5. In the second part of Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery,' you find out what they did after they stoned Tessie Hutchinson.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
HuffPo writers imagine the Palin family reuinion.

Best of Matt the K
From the Palin family album:
Sarah, age 4, first Elk kill, Bare hands.

Best of Matt the K
"Bayarmaa, stop playing with your entrails and EAT!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Oh, sure, the little virgin is all smiles now but when she was shackled to the tree watching as that poor yeti with a viagra-size boner crept up to her, she screamed like a banshee.

Best of mega
Kids wearing $400 Northface jackets in Summer, with no money left for food, eating their parents. Thanks, JayZ, 50 Cent, and P Diddy.

Best of Adriane
Well of course it's tarte aux fraises maison! What did you people think it was?!?

Best of blue
Barack Hussien Obama
mmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmm

Best of prince of leaves
Moonbeam's final thought: "You know, maybe working as a PETA canvasser on the steppes of Outer Mongolia wasn't such a great idea after all..."

23 comments:

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

HuffPo writers imagine the Palin family reuinion.

Matt the K said...

From the Palin family album:
Sarah, age 4, first Elk kill, Bare hands.


DAMN. Just looked up and saw Uchucks.
Hell with it.

Matt the K said...

Idi Amin's foreign exchange program was quite popular with the Mongolian students.

Matt the K said...

"Soylent Caribou is PEOPLE!!!"

Matt the K said...

"Bayarmaa, stop playing with your entrails and EAT!"

matt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt the K said...

A photo accompanying the recipe for Dissident Burgers from Chef Stalin's "Cooking Steppe by Steppe".

jeff said...

Remember dear - the organ meat has the most vitamins!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Oh, sure, the little virgin is all smiles now but when she was shackled to the tree watching as that poor yeti with a viagra-size boner crept up to her, she screamed like a banshee.

mega said...

Kids wearing $400 Northface jackets in Summer, with no money left for food, eating their parents. Thanks, JayZ, 50 Cent, and P Diddy.

mega said...

"Mmmm, these old people are tasty." The Baucus-Rockefeller compromise resolved the thorny issue of maintaining the right balance of seniors with healthy young adults.

Silhouette said...

This post has been removed by the author.

Naaaa, not really. But for a second there, you wondered what the heck I wrote.

mega said...

The "Vacation in Honduras '09!" campaign was impacted slightly by the Obama position.

Adriane said...

Well of course it's tarte aux fraises maison! What did you people think it was?!?

blue said...

Barack Hussien Obama
mmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmm

blue said...

Unlike the men, I washed befor dinner

blue said...

here in Outer Mongolia kittens are called lunch

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA - The captain's leg was gamy, but then they had to start the skit over again.


Okay, V, I'll bet you don't get THIS one!

dadoctah said...

Is it just me, or is every new Jack in the Box commercial creepier than the one before?

prince of leaves said...

"Need complex open-heart surgery but don't have time to wait in line? We have the experts to teach you and your family how to do it yourself, and all the supplies you need for a successful procedure and healthy recovery. At Health Depot, you can do it, we can help!"

prince of leaves said...

Moonbeam's final thought: "You know, maybe working as a PETA canvasser on the steppes of Outer Mongolia wasn't such a great idea after all..."

prince of leaves said...

Outer Mongolia's counterpart to Nancy Pelosi panders for votes by attending a traditional feast, but only pretends to eat the proletarian slop in front of cameras for fear of getting blood on her new fur coat.

dadoctah said...

Guy Zimmern finally goes too far.