Monday, October 12, 2009

Cankle Deep

Brender

1. "That idiot Dutch Boy we hired stuck his finger into Rosie O'Donnell instead."

2. "Oh, wow. I guess Kirstie Ally really was just retaining water this whole time."

3. "Al Gore's kid ran in here, flushed something down the toilet, and it's been backed up ever since. That's all I know."

4. "Just hold on, you wanna look good when you get to the lifeboat, don't you?"

5. "Gesundheit."

Best of molson
Yeah. I got the idea from those floating bars at the fancy hotels except I'm standing in sewage. At least I don't have to sweep the floors so it's not all bad.

Best of sonicfrog
Using electric shears during the flood, Xong always did like living life on the edge.

Best of dadoctah
"So, can I interest you in a kangal fish pedicure?"

Best of Army of Dad
So den I terr Ar Gore "You fur of it, der is no such ting as grobar warming."

Best of Silhouette
Although the orchestra received all of the fame, the barbers on the Titanic also kept performing right up until the end.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, he was gonna make the 'oceans recede.' Any time now, Barack. No rush."

Best of mpur
Swimming Todd

Best of Rodney Dill
....Gilligan... and the clipper too.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Q: What was Lee Kim's incentive for introducing that "No nicks or cuts" guarantee?
A: wall-to-wall piranha-infested carpet

Best of Adriane
"Double Damn! that travel agent," snarled Andrew Sullivan. "I asked him to find me some well groomed Asian men, swathed in pink, and wet all the time AND THIS is where he sends me."

30 comments:

molson said...

Yeah. I got the idea from those floating bars at the fancy hotels except I'm standing in sewage. At least I don't have to sweep the floors so it's not all bad.

Rodney Dill said...

D'ya want your hair done in a wave?

sonicfrog said...

Using electric shears during the flood, Xong always did like living life on the edge.

dadoctah said...

"So, can I interest you in a kangal fish pedicure?"

Army of Dad said...

Barbershop squirtet.

Army of Dad said...

So den I terr Ar Gore "You fur of it, der is no such ting as grobar warming."

Army of Dad said...

Shit Creek Barbers.

Army of Dad said...

Chen was less than pleased with the location of the Ark's barbershop.

Silhouette said...

Although the orchestra received all of the fame, the barbers on the Titanic also kept performing right up until the end.

jeff said...

Business in Indonesia adapts to recurring earthquakes and tsunami's.

VW: "arsican"

mega said...

Brain surgery operations under ObamaCare were considered some of the finest in the US-Canada-UK group.

Silhouette said...

"I'm the Barber of DeSwill."

Jay Guevara said...

"Damn, I wish Rosie O'Donnell would remember not to fill the tub to the top before she gets in it."

Jay Guevara said...

"Yeah, he was gonna make the 'oceans recede.' Any time now, Barack. No rush."

mpur said...

Swimming Todd

blue said...

if this rising water is from melting icecaps and receding glaciers, hows come it's warm as piss????

metalgarth said...

The Barbar of Venice

Rodney Dill said...

Moses' Barbershop... Always gets the part right.

Rodney Dill said...

Nineveh Barber Shop

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey, I don't cut hair just for the halibut. I Cod used to get paid."

Rodney Dill said...

....Gilligan... and the clipper too.

Rodney Dill said...

We don't just tilapia it off the top.

Jack Reacher said...

"So, imagine the hair I'm cutting is your income, going to taxes. Now this water, rising around you is the national debt. Do you understand Obamanomics now?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Sure, I thought it was cheap for a waterfront location, but I figured--what the hell?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Rice paddy barbers of Poontang don't need helpers or brooms. A day's worth of clippings will float away on the ebb tide.

(Ed. Note- I'll grant that rice fields don't have tides if you don't pretend brain surgeons are reading these captions)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Q: What was Lee Kim's incentive for introducing that "No nicks or cuts" guarantee?
A: wall-to-wall piranha-infested carpet

Mr. Hankey said...

'Swim in - Swim out' barber shops never really caught on.

Matt the K said...

"Into the 'wet' look? Then swim on in to Tsunami Tsam's for our 10 peso 'Mousse on the Loose' special!!!"

Jay Guevara said...

"If I'd ginned up a short form Hawaiian birth form I'd be President today. I coulda been a contender!"

Adriane said...

"Double Damn! that travel agent," snarled Andrew Sullivan. "I asked him to find me some well groomed Asian men, swathed in pink, and wet all the time AND THIS is where he sends me."