Saturday, October 24, 2009

Brazilian-American Football

Fred Miranda

1. "Come on, guys! Stop kidding around! Where's my ball?"

2. Bubblegum Tate's grandson was a mixed bag of athletic genetic inheritances.

3. "What I want are frickin' Axemen with frickin' footballs on their frickin' heads!"

4. "I don't care if he's your nephew, coach. Throw him out and get me a Center with some freakin' depth perception!"

5. The result of the Special Ed - JV scrimmage was never much in doubt.

Best of Matt the K
In a last ditch effort to retain fans, the short-lived XFL attempted having field goals kicked from the holders' heads. It *almost* saved the league.

Best of dub
Secretly, Timmy loved the sensation of balls on his head.

Best of molson
Why are these magnetic gloves I bought off of the internets not working?

Best of dadoctah
Billy was hit so hard on the last play his tongue swelled up and turned blue....

Best of thedoyle
I'm crazy football head, give me some candy.

Best of Matt the K
I know!!! I f**king hate those footballs, all brown and bumpy and weird-shaped and...uh-oh...there's one floating above my head right now, isn't there?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The team was psyched when the Redskins fresh-OUT-of-retirement, bingo-calling coach swore he'd teach them how to "march that football right down to the goal posts" ... until the drills began.

Best of Dactyl
Player-in-background thought bubble: "Your mouthpiece totally clashes with your facemask. Douche."

Best of GregMan
Ang Lee's remake of "Brian's Song" took a not unanticipated new direction.

Best of sonicfrog
Obviously the Raider's number-one pick in next years NFL draft....

17 comments:

Matt the K said...

In a last ditch effort to retain fans, the short-lived XFL attempted having field goals kicked from the holders' heads. It *almost* saved the league.

dub said...

Secretly, Timmy loved the sensation of balls on his head.

Anonymous said...

when about to fail, don't forget the jazz hands

molson said...

Why are these magnetic gloves I bought off of the internets not working?

Jay Guevara said...

Great eye-hand coordination. And this guy's a back?

dadoctah said...

"Jazz hands!"

dadoctah said...

Billy was hit so hard on the last play his tongue swelled up and turned blue....

dadoctah said...

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say...fourth string?

thedoyle said...

I'm crazy football head, give me some candy.

Matt the K said...

I know!!! I f**king hate those footballs, all brown and bumpy and weird-shaped and...uh-oh...there's one floating above my head right now, isn't there?

Rodney Dill said...

"...but I ain't usin' Stickum!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The team was psyched when the Redskins fresh-OUT-of-retirement, bingo-calling coach swore he'd teach them how to "march that football right down to the goal posts" ... until the drills began.

WordVerify: tride- Ebonics Speak 'n Spell games, a product of the US Dept. of Education!

Dactyl said...

Player-in-background thought bubble: "Your mouthpiece totally clashes with your facemask. Douche."

GregMan said...

Ang Lee's remake of "Brian's Song" took a not unanticipated new direction.

GregMan said...

Barney Fwank sponsors high school football, who knew?

GregMan said...

Tom realizes too late that this was not, in fact, Chess Club.

sonicfrog said...

Obviously the Raider's number-one pick in next years NFL draft....