Friday, September 11, 2009

This is indeed a disturbing universe


1. "No, Billy, I don't feel desensitived to violence. Why do you ask?"

2. "I told you Congressman Frank would have a heart attack if you flashed a little thigh."

3. "Yeah, I do feel a little bad about clocking Mrs. Jenkins, but like Tony Soprano said, 'You can't put sh-t back in the donkey.'"

4. "I'd say Tony Hawk has grinded his last rail."

5. "In retrospect, his mistake was telling Mrs. Suthpin her son was a loser."\

Best of Whacko
"Let's make this an easy case. I like the kid in the red shirt as the shooter. Donuts anyone?"

Best of Matt the K
"Wow Billy, look at that! The grass really IS greener on the other side of the fence!"

Best of jj
A young Martin Riggs learns a lesson in human behavior, "Timmy, I really didn't think that he would jump"

Best of Silhouette
Take Your Kid To Work Day can be challenging for certain careers.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

Best of dadoctah
"I wonder how long it'll take them to find his head in the sandbox."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Guy killed me, Mal... Killed me with a slingshot. How weird is that?"

Best of prince of leaves
"Nah, it's just Charles Johnson's last shred of credibility, Billy. Nothing to see."

Best of mega
This fall on Law And Order, Double Everything: Ominous pedophile scenes juxtaposed with grizzly murders, all at once. Won't you please stay with us for just one more year while we squeeze the lemon?

Best of Submariner
Wierd, Sarge; but the murder weapon appears to be this little silver hammer...

Best of Submariner
Note to self: the teeter-totter is ok, but when the white horse throws you, you die.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Let's play Hide'N'Go Kill again."

34 comments:

Whacko said...

"Let's make this an easy case. I like the kid in the red shirt as the shooter. Donuts anyone?"

Whacko said...

"Look, I know its sad. But look at it this way: If he had lived, Obamacare would have had to put him down anyway."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Guy didn't bounce, Jerry, not even a little.

-OR-

"Jump Mister!" "Yeah, life's a bitch!"
Little Apathy and Ennui innocently played on the teeter totter, and police never linked the cherubs to a baffling series of nearby suicides.

Jack Reacher said...

"They bagged his hands? My advice to you, Timmy, is go home immediately and shave your head, and then burn the hair."
Too many kids are watching CSI shows these days.

molson said...

"I'd say Tony Hawk has grinded his last rail."


Bwaaaaahahahahahahahahaha! Instant #1.

Matt the K said...

"Did anyone question that Damian kid over there? How about the Chuckie Doll he's playing with?"

Matt the K said...

"Wow Billy, look at that!"
"What is it, Jimmy?"
"The grass really IS greener on the other side of the fence!"

jj said...

A young Martin Riggs learns a lesson in human behavior, "Timmy, I really didn't think that he would jump"

Mr, Hankey said...

Bitch didn't get me my pie.

Mr. Hankey said...

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

Viking04 said...

Ya know, Dad warned that perv not to come near me again. Rule 308 works every time.

Silhouette said...

PS 72: CSI

Silhouette said...

Take Your Kid To Work Day can be challenging for certain careers.

Submariner said...

Coming this fall on CBS:
CSI - Daycare




v word - exitro - when I can't fly first class, I always try to get a seat in the exitro for the leg room. Either that or the last place this stiff sat.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Says on his drivers license he's a 'Mr. Dumpty'... I'll notify the king's men.."

Son Of The Godfather said...

And the Hardy Boys are thrust into their destiny.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So Mr.Lee here was killed by hypothermia in a meat locker... He froze to death and the body was dumped here. Did anyone see anything?"

"Yes sir, the kid in red over there... He saw Lee thaw by the see-saw."

Ahhh shaddup... I'm drunk. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lesson learned: Do NOT call Billy a "poopy-head".

dadoctah said...

"I wonder how long it'll take them to find his head in the sandbox."

Son Of The Godfather said...

<ORA: "Stupid gr'ups want to end recess?... Bonk bonk, on the head!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Witness the answer to: "So what if I refuse to give you my lunch money?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Guy killed me, Mal... Killed me with a slingshot. How weird is that?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"The Obama Manifest says we're supposed to give him a pain killer and send him home."

mega said...

"Hey, Kenny, don't turn around, but I think there's a video game behind you."

mega said...

Next to the ACORN office, white people were gunned down at will, while children awaited their sale to undetermined foreign countries.

prince of leaves said...

"Nah, it's just Charles Johnson's last shred of credibility, Billy. Nothing to see."

prince of leaves said...

"You know, Timmy? I'm rethinking my choice of Futures Trader for the 'My Future Career' essay..."

Double the U said...

CSI:Sesame Street, coming this fall.

mega said...

This fall on Law And Order, Double Everything: Ominous pedophile scenes juxtaposed with grizzly murders, all at once. Won't you please stay with us for just one more year while we squeeze the lemon?

Submariner said...

Wierd, Sarge; but the murder weapon appears to be this little silver hammer...

Submariner said...

Note to self: the teeter-totter is ok, but when the white horse throws you, you die.

Rodney Dill said...

"Let's play Hide'N'Go Kill again."

Matt the K said...

"Sir, I think we've got something... we've matched the two skinnier tire marks to a specific brand of training wheel, only available in certain WalMarts from March to July, 2008."

Overhearing this, Jimmy had to laugh, for he had switched those training wheels onto Johnny's bike.