Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Men in Cans, Just Add Water

Brender

1. "Raji, there's a bunch of angry-looking walruses headed this way demanding their 'bukkets.'"

2. The success of India's 'Cow Urine Soda' inevitably inspired spin-offs.

3. The Japanese grew very concerned about losing their title as 'World's Weirdest Country' and immediately began producing more YouTube videos of women in schoolgirls covered in salad dressing.

4. Sully simpered, "This is the worst bath house I've ever been to... and I've been to *all* of them!"

5. No one understood what the point of the 'full immersion toilet' was, but they were very popular.

Best of GregMan
Dell Technical Support spares no expense on employee benefits.

Best of HLam
The Libs new version of Water-boarding, rebranded as Water-Barrelling, provided each inmate with his own Loofah and bar of Irish Spring.

Best of Van Helsing
The contest was about to begin. Aanandswarup prayed to Vishnu that the bubbles he blew might be the largest and most fragrant.

Best of Rodney Dill
"No soap for you!!!"

Best of Passionate Conservative
Thirty minutes ago, they were all fed beans and cabbage. In five minutes, the jacuzzi party begins.

Best of Matt the K
Not having target-triggers took all the fun out of dunking booths at the Mumbai carnival.

Best of molson
With the super massive healthcare spending program collapsing faster than a dying star, ACORN resorted to extreme full immersion Koolaide indoctrination.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Portapotties - UR doing it wrong

22 comments:

GregMan said...

Dell Technical Support spares no expense on employee benefits.

GregMan said...

The curried version of Soylent Green.

HLam said...

The Libs new version of Water-boarding, rebranded as Water-Barrelling, provided each inmate with his own Loofah and bar of Irish Spring soap.

Van Helsing said...

The contest was about to begin. Aanandswarup prayed to Vishnu that the bubbles he blew might be the largest and most fragrant.

Silhouette said...

Oh look, Janitor in a Drum.

ATDHE

metalgarth said...

OSCAR THE GROUCH... UR DOIN' IT HINDU

Rodney Dill said...

"No soap for you!!!"

Passionate Conservative said...

Thirty minutes ago, they were all fed beans and cabbage. In five minutes, the jacuzzi party begins.

metalgarth said...

KEG STANDS... UR DOIN IT RONG

Dactyl said...

Wait...wait...wait...okay, soup's on!

Matt the K said...

I've heard of wash and wear, but this is ridiculous.

Matt the K said...

Not having target-triggers took all the fun out of dunking booths at the Mumbai carnival.

sonicfrog said...

Well, that's one way to solve the "Who farted?" / "Wasn't me!" paradox.

Adriane said...

Smithers wondered why all the workers kept coming back to the flower shop. He had told them "You've been canned!!!" repeatedly...

molson said...

With the super massive healthcare spending program collapsing faster than a dying star, ACORN resorted to extreme full immersion Koolaide indoctrination.

blue said...

The Far Eastern Synchronized Swim Team miss-read the instructions from the Olympic Committee.

blue said...

I pray to Allah that my farts are pure & worthy of my 72 virgins.

blue said...

Dear god, please don't let the judges see the "Baby Ruth" in my can.

Adriane said...

Why yes this water is most pleasantly warm, good sir; but what are these carrots and potatoes you are cutting up and throwing in ...

Kaptain Krude said...

Hajib read the sign, "Welcome to our ot. Notice there is no 'P' in it, please keep it that way."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Campbell's opens their first Low Fat Chunky Soup factory in Papua, New Guinea. (can label states: contains 73 servings)

-OR-

One silly typo resulted in the making of some really bad River Ganges PEE(sic) soup.

-OR-

New Guinea Campbell's Soup motto: "You can take the savage out of the jungle but you can't get the savage taste out of your mouth."

-OR-

Praying guy thawtbubble - "ooooh, please don't make me the BEEF soup guy."

-OR-

Portapotties - UR doing it wrong

WordVerify: encemen - well, these guys sure aren't mensa candidates

SamEyeAm said...

"You know, waterboarding sounded a lot more fun in my mind."