1. "P'Tagh! This Gagh is barely alive. I should rip out your intestines and feed them to you for this insolence!"
2. While Sasha and Malia distracted the security guard, M'Chel slipped a few packs of smokes into her purse and then Dawn's head exploded.
3. Everywhere Michelle went, she was stalked by the blurry ghost of Amelia Earhart.
4. "Bang! Got Mrs. Jindal right in the head with that tomater. That dot on her forehead makes an excellent target."
5. "Nice Farmer's Market. Be a damned shame if anything happened to it. A damned shame. So, can Rahm Emanuel count on a large 'donation' this year?"
Best of blue
thanks for the lei, I don't get any at home, if you know what i mean......
Best of Matt the K
Does this ass make my basket look small?
Best of dadoctah
Blah blah blah watermelon blah blah Dawn's head blah blah blah.
Best of Silhouette
Sure we took 36 vehicles one block from the White House for this, but look, reusable basket!
Best of dub
As Michelle looked for more bacon flavored veggies, Carla laughs that no one else has noticed the cock-and-balls design of her vegan shirt.
Best of Van Helsing
"What, no kittens? But I'm hungry for kittens!"