Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Do I Make You Horny, Baby?

Brender

1. We voted for Hope and Change and all we got were these dumb unicorn hats.

2. "Say what you will about Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd, they do one hell of a goat dance!"

3. Tom thought surely this show of sensitivity and openness would get him into Lisa's pants, but two sexless days later she dropped him for a skinhead biker.

4. Shag on the beach, anyone?

5. "Carl, don't be such a tea-bagger. I'm sure these things fight Global Warming and we aren't required to wear them just because Al Gore bought a furry unicorn hat factory."

Best of Matt the K
At first welcomed and revered by the Rainbow Tribe, Moonbeam and Steve were summarily beaten to death when the Peta peeps discovered their ceremonial hides were made of REAL unicorn.

Best of Viking04
Baby, would you eat that there snack cracker in your special outfit for me, please?

Best of Rodney Dill
Ennui over having a college age daugter at Belding, handicapped with a club horn.

Best of Unscrupulous
Typically solitary by nature, Unicorns are occasionally seen together for the purpose of "gaying it up".

Best of molson
New age yiffers.

Best of SamEyeAm
Dweezil and Moonbeam sit and wait, unaware that Dusty Bottoms had already summoned and subsequently shot and killed the invisivble swordsman.

Best of Jay Guevara
Girl: "You know, you look kinda silly wearing blue pants."

Best of Adriane
White unicorn pelts after Labor Day?!? Are you mad?

22 comments:

Matt the K said...

At first welcomed and revered by the Rainbow Tribe, Moonbeam and Steve were summarily beaten to death when the Peta peeps discovered their ceremonial hides were made of REAL unicorn.

Matt the K said...

Originally the result of the union between the President and a unicorn, successive generations of Manicorns appeared to get whiter and whiter.

Viking04 said...

Baby, would you eat that there snack cracker in your special outfit for me, please?

Rodney Dill said...

Ennui over having a college age daugter at Belding, handicapped with a club horn.

Rodney Dill said...

Don't cross the horns

Unscrupulous said...

In an effort to draw attention to the plight of the unicorn, Tweadle Dee and Tweadle Dumb-ass killed the last two remaining unicorns and wore their skulls on their head.

Unscrupulous said...

"Honey, now remember... Unicorns are among those rare and recalcitrant beings that refuse to be tamed or exploited. Now let's check in with PETA and see if they have any further instructions."

Unscrupulous said...

Typically solitary by nature, Unicorns are occasionally seen together for the purpose of "gaying it up".

molson said...

The obatronic antennas allow cultists to receive instructions directly from the Omessiah.

molson said...

New age yiffers.

SamEyeAm said...

Dweezil and Moonbeam sit and wait, unaware that Dusty Bottoms had already summoned and subsequently shot and killed the invisivble swordsman.

Jay Guevara said...

Girl: "You know, you look kinda silly wearing blue pants."

Spin said...

Because of her crooked horn Jennifer knew she would need to use the whole bottle of lube on Abdullah.

Rodney Dill said...

Uniporns

blue said...

hey baby, did you know that in some cultures if you touch horns you are engaged?

naas said...

Apple's new ad for OS twelve made the pc guy look like a girl

Adriane said...

White unicorn pelts after Labor Day?!? Are you mad?

blue said...

next they will transplant the cloven hoofs

blue said...

guy:" Unicorn horns are said to neutralize poison."
girl: " I still won't swallow"

blue said...

gut: "I'm leaving you for the girl with 2 horns & the nice rack"

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "I wonder if I'll need to use lube on this @sshole..."

(Your choice for which unicorn to post it over.)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mongolian TV ratings soared when their version of You've Been Punked began forcing "kidnapped" tourists to perform phony rituals, e.g., the Holy Hershey Kisses Marriage.