Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Billy Zoom Zoom

Brender

1. Bill Gates demonstrates the new Microsoft corporate salute.

2. ♪ "Here I come to save the day-y-y-y-y-y!" ♪

3. "And then, with Vista, we finally achieved a level of bloatware I couldn't reach standing on a step-ladder."

4. "... and this represents the Bush deficit. To describe the Obama deficits, I'd need one of those mechanical arm things from the movie Dave."

5. The slogan was going to be 'Get Pimped,' but then ACORN withdrew at the last moment.

Best of dadoctah
"Howzabout givin' it up for my homeboys, Anthony Edwards and Bobby Carradine!"

Best of Jack Reacher
"The average Washington resident of my age has eaten approximately this much oat bran in his life."

Best of molson
Yeah the bodies of dead coders were stacked this high, but we got Winders 7 out on time and on budget.

Best of GregMan
"And this is how much bigger my pile of money is now that I fired all the American programmers and outsourced everything to India!"

Best of Jay Guevara
"On MSNBC they pile up the bullshit this high."

Best of Army of Dad
If you killed all the Mac users and made a wall around Seattle it would only be this high.

Best of Mr. Hankey
...and then you stick your arm out the window and surf it up and down with the breeze.

Best of Rodney Dill
that Mac guy in the ads? Oh... 'bout yay tall

Best of Passionate Conservative
Bill Gates shows off his underarm dandruff

Best of Matt the K
Well the first guy that beat me up in Junior High was this tall, but I've since had him killed...Next question?

Best of Submariner
...and my arm indicates the trend line for exploitable back-door holes found in Microsoft products over the past 20 or so years.

Best of Oiao
"Well, it, um, stands at about this angle every morning. Milinda, have I got that straight?"

28 comments:

Unscrupulous said...

The "Get Schooled" concept, as Bill Gates describes here, flew way over the heads of the market they were trying to reach.

The new concept, "Learnin' Be Fo Shizzle" gained much broader acceptance.

dadoctah said...

"Howzabout givin' it up for my homeboys, Anthony Edwards and Bobby Carradine!"

Jack Reacher said...

"The average Washington resident of my age has eaten approximately this much oat bran in his life."

Jack Reacher said...

"Is your cursor in the upper corner? Okay, now click. Damn, I don't know how they do this support stuff in Bangalore all day."

molson said...

Yeah the bodies of dead coders were stacked this high, but we got Winders 7 out on time and on budget.

GregMan said...

"And this is how much bigger my pile of money is now that I fired all the American programmers and outsourced everything to India!"

GregMan said...

"Heil Obama!"

(And Then Dawn's Head Bluescreened)

GregMan said...

"Now, normally, the Nazi salute uses the right hand, but since this is Windows everything is ass-backwards."

Adriane said...

"Pay NO attention to the little man behind the curtain!!!" thundered The Magnificent Micro ...
(...as Bill Gates desperately tried to slide the curtain back into place.)

Jay Guevara said...

"On MSNBC they pile up the bullshit this high."

Army of Dad said...

Dr. Dorklove or how to learn to love the bluescreen.

Army of Dad said...

If you killed all the Mac users and made a wall around Seattle it would only be this high.

Mr. Hankey said...

...and then you stick your arm out the window and surf it up and down with the breeze.

Mr. Hankey said...

Last week I ate a carrot this tall & it did absolutely nothing to my complexion. Why do you ask??

Rodney Dill said...

that Mac guy in the ads? Oh... 'bout yay tall

Rodney Dill said...

"We have no where else to go."

Rodney Dill said...

BSBOOD - Blue Sleeve BO of Death

(WV: Antspeel -- sounds 'bout right)

robert said...

And the number of H1-B workers I plan to bring in to replace you is thiiissss biiiiig.

My pile of money is this tall - and growing.

Passionate Conservative said...

Bill Gates shows off his underarm dandruff

Passionate Conservative said...

I don't mind telling you, I voted for Obama...Just couldn't go for a Mac...

/rimshot

Matt the K said...

"Oooh..Ooohh...Mr. Jobs, can I leave the 'Get Schooled'corner now?"

"No, Billy, after you pulled that Vista stunt, you'll be there at least until 2012."

Matt the K said...

Well the first guy that beat me up in Junior High was this tall, but I've since had him killed...Next question?

prince of leaves said...

Charles Johnson promptly issued orders to his lizardoid cult, banning them from using Microsoft products due to Gates' "disgusting and vile support for white supremacism".

Submariner said...

Raise your hand, raise your hand if you're...

a billionair...

dadoctah said...

"Look! A pterodactyl!"

Checking to see if anyone else watched "Dead Like Me".

wv: adaleak. Microsoft's marketing strategy since Day One.

Submariner said...

You must be schvartz, hung like a mule and about this tall to 'get in the Gates,' if you know what I mean...





And in the far off distance, the sound of Dawn's head imploding could once again be heard.

Submariner said...

...and my arm indicates the trend line for exploitable back-door holes found in Microsoft products over the past 20 or so years.

Oiao said...

"Well, it, um, stands at about this angle every morning. Milinda, have I got that straight?"