1. ... would be a great name for a punk rock band.
2. "2 shots and a splash! Get it? C'mon, lighten up, Daddy-O."
3. In the midst of the interview, Joan Rivers spontaneously combusted. Leaving behind only a scorched wig.
4. "... and then I did a cartwheel and snapped 007's neck with my powerful thighs. How was your day?"
5. "Sorry, I'm already engaged to Morgan Freeman."
Best of metalgarth
"Inner City High School Girls in Trouble" A Samuel L. Bronkowitz production
Best of GregMan
"I was looking for de white women, but you'll do."
Best of satted
Don't worry doll, we are all dressed up in these ceremonial cloths, so no one will think anything is weird.
Best of Matt the K
Its good to be the King of the welfare pimps.
Best of Unscrupulous
Oily chick, 'Do you want some action?'
Jesse, 'Affirmative.'"
Best of dadoctah
I hate it when a good movie franchise stops trying. Case in point: "Shaft Tries For An Ambassadorship".
Best of steve o
"Hey buddy!
My tits are down here!!"
Best of ochagirl
Guess that magazine: Playboy, National Geographic, Ebony, or Time.
Best of Rodney Dill
In and Out of Africa
Best of metalgarth
Dear "Black 'uns" magazine....
45 comments:
"Inner City High School Girls in Trouble" A Samuel L. Bronkowitz production
"Give me the damn $20.00. No free lap dances"
"I was looking for de white women, but you'll do."
"Mr. President, let me smother my face in your mighty man-boobs. Oh, you're not Obama? Can I do it anyway?"
"I wanted to buy some clothes at Old Navy but I gots there too late."
ATDHE
We need to visit the "tent" before the sacrifice.....
Don't worry doll, we are all dressed up in these ceremonial cloths, so no one will think anything is weird.
Reverend, after last time, you have to pay before we go into the tent.
You! Turn the camera off. This interview's OVER!
Its good to be the King.
And thank you most kindly, Chief Jackson, for the shipment of Foodstuffs and Playtex bras to the people of Wombonga. Now our maidens much better supported, here show him, Mandalla!!
"I told you pimpin' was easy."
Into my mouth they will fit...
So give me some tit.
You can take this off yo' taxes as a donation to the the Rainbow Coalition, Ha Glory!
girl: hey honey, I'm all greased up & ready for some of that rainbow action you promised
jesse; where da white women?
"Nice lid, Jesse."
"Excuse me while I whip these out."
Jackson thought bubble: "Is this a great country or what?"
Oily chick, 'Do you want some action?'
Jesse, 'Affirmative.'"
Have I told you about Operation "Push"?
I hate it when a good movie franchise stops trying. Case in point: "Shaft Tries For An Ambassadorship".
"Who the hell do you think you are, Justin Timberlake?"
Uh, my eyes are up here, dude.
ORA:
"Of course, I shall avert my eyes at the necessary moment..."
Must...not...look...down...
ARGH!!
"Hey buddy!
My tits are down here!!"
Jesse Jackson works hard to keep his presidential hopes alive.
(redux)
Jesse: "Sorry, I'm already engaged to Morgan Freeman."
You mean I can haz one ceremonial bronsky? This is way better than one heathcare!
Jesse thought bubble--
"Uhh...this Swinger ain't in no danger!"
Now that's what I call "BLAXPLOITATION!"
Jesses comes up with yet another way to play the race card. It's not nudity, it's just a cultural standard we white people don't understand.
Guess that magazine: Playboy, National Geographic, Ebony, or Time.
vw: beansho, as in Jesse saying, "beansho nice here with you all, but I have to kill you all and destroy any evidence of being here. Sorry, y'all."
Jesse's thoughts: "Boobiesboobiesboobiesblackboobies . . . . must avoid awkward, lasting photo moment . . . blackboobiesdeliciousboobiesboobiesboobies."
I'm not saying people should be looking at breasts, but beautiful black babes are underexposed . . . well . . . she's overexposed here, but you know what I MEAN.
vw: holys . . . that's a caption in itself. Your verification system is now sentient, V.
I'm suddenly craving chocolate even more so now.
To get get over stage fright, Jesse was VERY selective in who he imagined naked.
Jesse thought bubble: "These special 'invitation only' afrocentric worship services must be why Obama stayed with Wright's church all those years..."
Woman: "I've never seen someone so enthusiastic about becoming a eunuch! Are you sure he understood what said about being the Queen's right hand man?"
If anybody has any helpful information for me, I'd like to convert.
In and Out of Africa
Dear "Black 'uns" magazine....
Jesse Jackson poses for the new Afrocentric Velvet painting, soon to be on sale at all corner Stop-and-Rob parking lots throughout the tri-state area.
wv; "Otednes": The kind of shot you get every five years, whether needed or not.
So, honey, you interested in a subordinate position in my organization?
v word - doin - nuff said.
"I've got to discuss bringing back some of these African traditions with Michelle Obama...."
"...So whitey took your rainbow jumper -- so you stuck 'im to a wall?"
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