Monday, August 31, 2009

King Jesse and the Wardrobe Malfunction...

Brender

1. ... would be a great name for a punk rock band.

2. "2 shots and a splash! Get it? C'mon, lighten up, Daddy-O."

3. In the midst of the interview, Joan Rivers spontaneously combusted. Leaving behind only a scorched wig.

4. "... and then I did a cartwheel and snapped 007's neck with my powerful thighs. How was your day?"

5. "Sorry, I'm already engaged to Morgan Freeman."

Best of metalgarth
"Inner City High School Girls in Trouble" A Samuel L. Bronkowitz production

Best of GregMan
"I was looking for de white women, but you'll do."

Best of satted
Don't worry doll, we are all dressed up in these ceremonial cloths, so no one will think anything is weird.

Best of Matt the K
Its good to be the King of the welfare pimps.

Best of Unscrupulous
Oily chick, 'Do you want some action?'
Jesse, 'Affirmative.'"

Best of dadoctah
I hate it when a good movie franchise stops trying. Case in point: "Shaft Tries For An Ambassadorship".

Best of steve o
"Hey buddy!
My tits are down here!!"

Best of ochagirl
Guess that magazine: Playboy, National Geographic, Ebony, or Time.

Best of Rodney Dill
In and Out of Africa

Best of metalgarth
Dear "Black 'uns" magazine....

45 comments:

metalgarth said...

"Inner City High School Girls in Trouble" A Samuel L. Bronkowitz production

metalgarth said...

"Give me the damn $20.00. No free lap dances"

GregMan said...

"I was looking for de white women, but you'll do."

GregMan said...

"Mr. President, let me smother my face in your mighty man-boobs. Oh, you're not Obama? Can I do it anyway?"

GregMan said...

"I wanted to buy some clothes at Old Navy but I gots there too late."

ATDHE

satted said...

We need to visit the "tent" before the sacrifice.....

satted said...

Don't worry doll, we are all dressed up in these ceremonial cloths, so no one will think anything is weird.

satted said...

Reverend, after last time, you have to pay before we go into the tent.

Matt the K said...

You! Turn the camera off. This interview's OVER!

Matt the K said...

Its good to be the King.

Matt the K said...

And thank you most kindly, Chief Jackson, for the shipment of Foodstuffs and Playtex bras to the people of Wombonga. Now our maidens much better supported, here show him, Mandalla!!

Matt the K said...

"I told you pimpin' was easy."

Viking04 said...

Into my mouth they will fit...
So give me some tit.

You can take this off yo' taxes as a donation to the the Rainbow Coalition, Ha Glory!

blue said...

girl: hey honey, I'm all greased up & ready for some of that rainbow action you promised

jesse; where da white women?

Jay Guevara said...

"Nice lid, Jesse."

Jay Guevara said...

"Excuse me while I whip these out."

Jay Guevara said...

Jackson thought bubble: "Is this a great country or what?"

Unscrupulous said...

Oily chick, 'Do you want some action?'

Jesse, 'Affirmative.'"

Unscrupulous said...

Have I told you about Operation "Push"?

dadoctah said...

I hate it when a good movie franchise stops trying. Case in point: "Shaft Tries For An Ambassadorship".

dadoctah said...

"Who the hell do you think you are, Justin Timberlake?"

Adriane said...

Uh, my eyes are up here, dude.

divine miss m said...

ORA:

"Of course, I shall avert my eyes at the necessary moment..."

steve o said...

Must...not...look...down...

ARGH!!

steve o said...

"Hey buddy!
My tits are down here!!"

steve o said...

Jesse Jackson works hard to keep his presidential hopes alive.

Rodney Dill said...

(redux)
Jesse: "Sorry, I'm already engaged to Morgan Freeman."

molson said...

You mean I can haz one ceremonial bronsky? This is way better than one heathcare!

Matt the K said...

Jesse thought bubble--

"Uhh...this Swinger ain't in no danger!"

metalgarth said...

Now that's what I call "BLAXPLOITATION!"

ochagirl said...

Jesses comes up with yet another way to play the race card. It's not nudity, it's just a cultural standard we white people don't understand.

ochagirl said...

Guess that magazine: Playboy, National Geographic, Ebony, or Time.

vw: beansho, as in Jesse saying, "beansho nice here with you all, but I have to kill you all and destroy any evidence of being here. Sorry, y'all."

ochagirl said...

Jesse's thoughts: "Boobiesboobiesboobiesblackboobies . . . . must avoid awkward, lasting photo moment . . . blackboobiesdeliciousboobiesboobiesboobies."

ochagirl said...

I'm not saying people should be looking at breasts, but beautiful black babes are underexposed . . . well . . . she's overexposed here, but you know what I MEAN.

vw: holys . . . that's a caption in itself. Your verification system is now sentient, V.

ochagirl said...

I'm suddenly craving chocolate even more so now.

ochagirl said...

To get get over stage fright, Jesse was VERY selective in who he imagined naked.

prince of leaves said...

Jesse thought bubble: "These special 'invitation only' afrocentric worship services must be why Obama stayed with Wright's church all those years..."

ochagirl said...

Woman: "I've never seen someone so enthusiastic about becoming a eunuch! Are you sure he understood what said about being the Queen's right hand man?"

dadoctah said...

If anybody has any helpful information for me, I'd like to convert.

Rodney Dill said...

In and Out of Africa

metalgarth said...

Dear "Black 'uns" magazine....

Barco Sin Vela II said...

Jesse Jackson poses for the new Afrocentric Velvet painting, soon to be on sale at all corner Stop-and-Rob parking lots throughout the tri-state area.

wv; "Otednes": The kind of shot you get every five years, whether needed or not.

Submariner said...

So, honey, you interested in a subordinate position in my organization?


v word - doin - nuff said.

jeff said...

"I've got to discuss bringing back some of these African traditions with Michelle Obama...."

Rodney Dill said...

"...So whitey took your rainbow jumper -- so you stuck 'im to a wall?"