Saturday, August 29, 2009

Illegal Use of Hands

Fred Miranda

1. (High squeaky voice) "Put me down! Put me down!"

2. "It's real, all right. And it is spectacular!"

3. "Hey! You really are Jewish!"

4. It took Billy some time to adjust after the spending summer vacation at Dad and Uncle Earl's bungalow on Fire Island.

5. Since there was no rule against "fisting the receiver," no penalty was called on the play.

23 comments:

Viking04 said...

Coach, I told you that cornerback transfer from San Fran State was a damn mistake.

WV: secon (what are the chances?)

Dactyl said...

Cough.

dadoctah said...

I guess we know who the designated receiver is.

Matt the K said...

Turn your head and cough up the ball.

divine miss m said...

Sack Tap sneak-up: you're doin' it right.

blue said...

if you catch that ball you are going to be minus 2

prince of leaves said...

Green's falsetto thought bubble: "Of all the days to forget to wear my cup!"

prince of leaves said...

For years afterward, Jimmy would obliquely refer to his incongruously high-pitched voice as "my old football injury".

prince of leaves said...

Green would drop the football an instant later. The other two balls would take hours to drop again.

metalgarth said...

The penalty for this infraction involves hadcuffs, a ball gag, leather pants and jockey

Robert said...

I'm surprised no one has gone for the obvious...

1) When the coach told him to go for the ball, unfortunately he did't tell which one...

Or

2) Swatting the ball - Ur doin it wrong.

molson said...

Bad touch football.

mpur said...

Announcer: "Green goes up for the ball...and it's Black with the assist!"

Army of Dad said...

Cup check.

Army of Dad said...

Two ball touch, more ghey than two hand touch.

mega said...

"Cough, please."

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Mick Dundee had problems with American Rules football.

Rodney Dill said...

Missed it by that much!

Rodney Dill said...

"AFLAC!!!"

steve o said...

The Detroit Lions scout an opponent ahead of an exhibition game.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

BRUTAL MURDER IN LOCKER ROOM!
Wilber fully expected to be razzed for fumbling TWO balls during one interception attempt. If only the coach's post game pep talk hadn't begun with, "Son, when you're handed lemons..."

-OR-

Q: Why does the GFL (GEY FOOTBALL LEAGUE) official rulebook set no penalty for "groping the receiver," "intentional grinding" or "fluffing the kicker" AND actually encourage "incindental contact"?
A: this is the sport of queens

Submariner said...

Hey! I thought you said you were a tight end?

Submariner said...

The uniforms don't look right, but the packed stands indicate it's a Detroit game...