1. "Wow! Tommy just spontaneously combusted. Makes you think, doesn't it?"
2. "I don't know why my dad gets off on smelling these, but in any case, here's the twenty he said to give you, Billy."
3. ORA: "Never fails. Hit one past Charlie Brown and his clothes go flying all over the pitcher's mound. Frankly, I think he's just an exhibitionist."
4. "What's that Mr. Shoe? I should take a baseball bat and kill them all? But that would be wrong, Mr. Shoe."
5. "This shoe is so *amazing.* Dude... I am so baked right now."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Even our shoes. Is there any part of our gear NOT made in China?" Pat Buchanan Jr. enters a protectionist phase.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In a hushed tone: "Did you guys see the size of that freaking eagle?"
Best of Chrees
A young Holmes visits his American cousin: "I'd say 5'2", 92 pounds, from the wear on the left instep I'd say he plays third base...poorly I might add...and from the distinctive smell of sawdust his father is either a carpenter or the school janitor."
Best of dadoctah
Chapter VIII: Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension, Salvatore Quanucci was squirted out of the universe like a watermelon seed, and never heard from again.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Uncle Barney tells me that champagne should be drunk straight from your lover's slipper.
21 comments:
Tommy always had to use the conference speaker mode on his 'Get Smart' turf shoe cell phone because of the smell.
Budget cuts allowed the purchase of only one cleated shoe, and so a quick rock-paper-scissors game decided who got to wear it.
"Even our shoes. Is there any part of our gear NOT made in China?" Pat Buchanan Jr. enters a protectionist phase.
I dunno. Dad said that if I want to grow up to be a President like Obama, I need to practice taking off my shoe and banging it on stuff.
"One Shoe Richard Jackson" was not nearly as famous nor as good a player as his brother "Shoeless Joe Jackson."
"See, *that's* how to pour piss out of it! And I didn't even need to *look* at the directions on the heel!"
"Dude, you're not Shoeless Joe Jackson. Get over it already!
The losers stood mesmorized as the shoe gave an inspirational pep talk. However, when it concluded with, "Smile, you're on candid camera!" the team beat the show's host, a cameraman and the umpire to death.
In a hushed tone: "Did you guys see the size of that freaking eagle?"
WordVerify: prold- what most prizners hope to be.
Whenever Slytherin played Gryffindor, you just knew someone was going to be turned into a toad.
-or-
Sure, Jimmy wore the extra large; but rumor was, he's all hat, no cattle.
A young Holmes visits his American cousin: "I'd say 5'2", 92 pounds, from the wear on the left instep I'd say he plays third base...poorly I might add...and from the distinctive smell of sawdust his father is either a carpenter or the school janitor."
"Nice heater Ted."
How to tell if George W Bush has been there.
"Eewww! His foot's still in it!"
Chapter VIII: Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension, Salvatore Quanucci was squirted out of the universe like a watermelon seed, and never heard from again.
Now that Obama has nationalized Little League, so that the illegal aliens can play without being deported, all I get is one shoe.
After ignoring his mothers directives to NOT play ball in the house, BO's camping trip was canceled.
Students at "Nancy Pelosi Prep School" get to play Baseball & Football at the same time.
Excitement abounds as the stimulus package reaches the Little League World Series champs. Unfortunately, since they are irresponsible 12 year olds, the new government shoe was accidentally left behind after the game.
Uncle Barney tells me that champagne should be drunk straight from your lover's slipper.
After an Iraqi newspaper reporter throws his shoe at the Austin A's, Kyle remarks, "This is a size 10 shoe he threw at me, you may want to know."
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