1. "Wow! Tommy just spontaneously combusted. Makes you think, doesn't it?"
2. "I don't know why my dad gets off on smelling these, but in any case, here's the twenty he said to give you, Billy."
3. ORA: "Never fails. Hit one past Charlie Brown and his clothes go flying all over the pitcher's mound. Frankly, I think he's just an exhibitionist."
4. "What's that Mr. Shoe? I should take a baseball bat and kill them all? But that would be wrong, Mr. Shoe."
5. "This shoe is so *amazing.* Dude... I am so baked right now."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Even our shoes. Is there any part of our gear NOT made in China?" Pat Buchanan Jr. enters a protectionist phase.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In a hushed tone: "Did you guys see the size of that freaking eagle?"
Best of Chrees
A young Holmes visits his American cousin: "I'd say 5'2", 92 pounds, from the wear on the left instep I'd say he plays third base...poorly I might add...and from the distinctive smell of sawdust his father is either a carpenter or the school janitor."
Best of dadoctah
Chapter VIII: Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension, Salvatore Quanucci was squirted out of the universe like a watermelon seed, and never heard from again.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Uncle Barney tells me that champagne should be drunk straight from your lover's slipper.