Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Und zo, ve hav to impose ze piggybank tax

One of you monors

1. "And zo, to offzet out defizit, ve vill begin auctioning zeh little girls to zeh highest bidder. Vat am I offered for zeh vun on my left."

2. "Isn't zeh little girl cute? Ja, ist too bad A-Rod knocked her up in ze seventh inning.... Vat, too zoon?"

3. "Ve still haff a $29 Billion defizit, but you vill glad to know ve haff legalized another 19 different forms of marriage."

4. "Und because zeh state defizit ist zuch a disastuh, I haff hired Roland Emmerich as our new budget director."

5. "Raise taxes or zeh little girl dies!"

Best of Jack Reacher
Thinking she'd be thrilled with his offer, Arnold offers to swap jobs with Jane, a clerk at the Sacramento DMV office.

Best of molson
Mommy why is that crazy man not wearing pants?

Best of curly
"I am the new Michael Jackson! Someone fit me with a glove!"

Best of prince of leaves
"Regahding ze allegation zat I fathered a leetle girl vit my lovah, I can only say, 'Eet's not a rooooomah'."

Best of Barco Sin Vela II
To shift media attention from the fiscal crisis, Ahhnuld comes clean about his Guatemalen wench and love child.

Best of GregMan
"Und zis is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve declare bankruptcy!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
After a long speech about the deficit, Gov Ahnold brings tears to the crowd as he brings little Julie comes to the platform and she states through tears “I just want to say ever since I was born, Ahnold has been the best govenor you can ever imagine, And I just want to say I love him so much.”

Best of dadoctah
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Best of mpur
Politician's ties and their message:

Red + I am the alpha male and I am in charge

Blue - Stay calm, there is nothing to worry about

Lime green with polkadots: You are screwed

18 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

Thinking she'd be thrilled with his offer, Arnold offers to swap jobs with Jane, a clerk at the Sacramento DMV office.

Jack Reacher said...

"Any time a famous person dies, ve sell tickets to the funeral. Ve vill clean up, I tell you."

curly said...

"Now watch as I slice zeh little girl in half with a karate chop."

curly said...

"...and I will start bitch-slapping citizens until my budget is passed, beginning with zeh little girl here."

Army of Dad said...

No, you should have seen it. That breadstick was three, four feet long!

molson said...

Mommy why is that crazy man not wearing pants?

molson said...

Ya! I want to pump your taxes up!

curly said...

"I am the new Michael Jackson! Someone fit me with a glove!"

prince of leaves said...

"Regahding ze allegation zat I fathered a leetle girl vit my lovah, I can only say, 'Eet's not a rooooomah'."

prince of leaves said...

"Psst! Mommy, why is there a chunk of shiny metal showing through that scary man's bald spot?"

dadoctah said...

"We can just resign? Seriously? Nobody told me we can resign!"

Barco Sin Vela II said...

To shift media attention from the fiscal crisis, Ahhnuld comes clean about his Guatemalen wench and love child.

GregMan said...

"Und zis is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve declare bankruptcy!"

GregMan said...

"Vhy are you looking at me like zere is a little bear climbing into my head?"

Mr. Hankey said...

After a long speech about the deficit, Gov Ahnold brings tears to the crowd as he brings little Julie comes to the platform and she states through tears “I just want to say ever since I was born, Ahnold has been the best govenor you can ever imagine, And I just want to say I love him so much.”

dadoctah said...

ObNostalgicReference:

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Jay Guevara said...

"And zo, to offzet out defizit, ve vill begin auctioning zeh little girls to zeh highest bidder. Vat am I offered for zeh vun on my left."

After a few moments with no bid, Gov. Schwarzenegger looked over the assembled group and continued, "Ach! Vat was we tinking? Ve should be auctioning off kleine Knaben instead of ze Maedchen."

mpur said...

Politician's ties and their message:

Red + I am the alpha male and I am in charge

Blue - Stay calm, there is nothing to worry about

Lime green with polkadots: You are screwed