Friday, July 17, 2009

Ummm... what?


1. "All right, let's begin our new lives as illegal immigrants; welfare, free health care, and no taxes. Here we come!"

2. "Nope, I still don't feel any wiser."

3. Americans adjust to the reality that, under ObamaCare, illegal aliens will get better health care than senior citizens.

4. Americans save money by eating Doritos on the porch while pretending to be at Chili's; slamming gallons of Margaritas also helped sustain the illusion.

5. "Nope, didn't work. That cute Governor Sanford still isn't interested."

Best of Unscrupulous
The infamous Tres Putas Gang sat and plotted their next Bingo Hall robbery.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Checking again that they had done everything required in the Craiglist ad, the three women still were shocked that "Big Black Stud" hadn't approached them at the licorice stand.

Best of GregMan
Ennui: The Secret Curse Of America's Elderly

Best of GregMan
John McCain's campaign groupies were about what everyone expected.

Best of Red Neckerson
Accoding to this book, we are going about this all wrong. And trust me! You don't EVEN want to know the proper way to perform a Dirty Sanchez......

Best of metalgarth
Overheard at the latest meeting of N.O.W....

It says right here in the bylaws that if a Negro becomes president before a woman we all have to wear sombreros and half to let our mustaches grow for a whole year.

OK... who made that stupid bet with NAACP

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Medicare Fraud - giving denture-wearing nursing home residents red licorice sticks while accepting kickbacks from the local franchise of Dentists on Call.

Best of dub
Thought bubbles from left to right:

"According to my calculations, my penis really IS bigger than Bea Arthurs."
"I forgot what we were doing an hour ago."
"Oops, crapped my pants."

Best of Rodney Dill
"G-14"
"O-25"
"R-3"
"GRINGO"

48 comments:

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

The Three Amigos have really let themselves go...

Chrees said...

At some point, the writers of The Golden Girls just gave up trying.

Unscrupulous said...

The infamous Tres Putas Gang sat and plotted their next Bingo Hall robbery.

HLam said...

Lady in the middle: "I don't why they call them 'Flavor Savers' at all. My 'stache doesn't taste like anything! If anything, it just smells like fish."

Unscrupulous said...

The old folks home wasn't pleased when these three showed up at the Halloween ball dressed as Dirty Sanchez!

Unscrupulous said...

The three old friends were very excited about their upcoming authentic Mexican style fiesta but things stalled when nobody wanted to be the one to steal the chicken.

Mr. Hankey said...

Retired cougars can get good deals in Mexico.

Mr. Hankey said...

Checking again that they had done everything required in the Craiglist ad, the three women still were shocked that "Big Black Stud" hadn't approached them at the licorice stand.

Rodney Dill said...

Some go to great lengths to qualify for the senor citizen discount

GregMan said...

"I yelled at those kids to get off my lawn, but they just kept pointing at my upper lip and laughing!"

GregMan said...

Ennui: The Secret Curse Of America's Elderly

GregMan said...

When Drinking Games Get Old

GregMan said...

John McCain's campaign groupies were about what everyone expected.

Army of Dad said...

The Ron Paul 2012 New Mexico campaign committee.

Barco Sin Vela II said...

"Ok, Red Vines and Valu-Rite Vodka is a bust." I can't feel the buzz at all..."

Army of Dad said...

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition: UR DOING IT RONG.

Army of Dad said...

Las Damas Oro

Anonymous said...

Look it says right here in my grandson's college guide. Number #47 the worm in the tequila will not get you drunk faster.

dadoctah said...

Next karaoke night at the rec center, folks are going to hear one seriously kick-ass version of Oye Como Va.

wv: allaut. End of the line.

mklasing said...

Joe Biden has another rousing lunch with his speech writers in preparation for his town hall meeting.

dadoctah said...

Shady Acres remained one of the few pockets of influence for the Taco Bell chihuahua.

dadoctah said...

"Okay, ladies, finish up your drinks and it's off to Crawford to help clear some brush."

Brittanicus said...

Illegal Immigration and health care are heavily connected, believe it or not. Massive high taxes are imposed on the US taxpayer to pay for so called emergency hospital care for illegal immigrants and their families. Except foreign nation use the emergency room for their basic needs, such as the flue or a splinter in the finger. As always the taxpayer is the recipient? Health care revision can never happen while Taxpayer carry the heavy burden of paying for the millions of illegal workers and families, who have settled here. As an example 80 hospitals and clinics locked their doors for good in the Sanctuary State of California, because huge hordes of individuals came their for free health care. Why do you think California found themselves with a $24.5 billion budget deficit?

Those who want to just follow the same old road, can do so with the profit taking commercial insurance. Those who would be satisfied with a government run health care program, can now start demanding it from the lawmakers. Those who see a Universal health care system, similar to most developed countries in Europe, should start informing every Representative and Senate politician starting today. Rationing in places like England, was caused by the major impact of uncontrolled immigration. I see--THE RATS--are coming out of the woodwork, using propaganda and downright lies about government run medical care? The Special interest lobby, status quo have very wealthy fingers in the pie and do not want Health care for everybody? It's a trillion dollar business like Cancer treatments.

The pharmaceutical companies, AMA and others have very much to lose? Even many corrupt politicians are stockholders in this behemoth money machine. Most American working class can do--without-- high premiums, pre-existing condition clauses. deductibles, co-pays that is representative of the wealthy medical care insurers.

Unless our politicians commit themselves to a strong E-Verify, Police enforcement 287(g) and enforce all federal employees are vetted, so illegal immigrant workers can be rooted-out. The push for AMNESTY, will even draw another invasion in to our nation once the word goes out.

This free health care atrocity was placed on the unknowing American, years past and never been rescinded. This has favored the business community, because they pay--ABSOLUTELY NOTHING-- to a maimed or sick illegal worker, because it's passed on to the consumer. IF YOU DESIRE A NEW HEALTH CARE SYSTEM, WHERE YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR INSURER? WHETHER YOU WANT THE FOR PROFIT INSURANCE OR GOVERNMENT MEDICAL CARE SYSTEM? TODAY IS CRITICAL. SO CALL YOUR SENATOR OR CONGRESSMAN 202-224-312. Just like illegal immigration , we cannot afford anymore to subsidize the business that hire them or the millions of illegal families. GOOGLE--on the web to find the truth.

dadoctah said...

Whoa.

No more for you!

Silhouette said...

Okay. It's funny, it really it is, but I'm thinking the post up there will NOT become a classic re-posted caption. I miss Dawn.

Matt the K said...

"Lesbian Mexican SeƱor Citizens in Trouble", a Samuel El Bronkowitez production.

dub said...

Just another Thursday at the Shady Acres Nursing Home.

Whacko said...

What Bill Clinton (left) really does while Hillary is of on one of her junkets. And you thought all he did was chase tail.

Blue said...

#1) OK, according to the new Obamacare health plan, after we dress like Mexicans, we go to the Tijuana free clinic for treatment.
#2) Bless Our Dear Leader for proving for us!!
#3) Are there any Acorn cigarettes left?

Red Neckerson said...

Accoding to this book, we are going about this all wrong. And trust me! You don't EVEN want to know the proper way to perform a Dirty Sanchez......

Jack Reacher said...

Interestingly, they were allowed into the U.S. dressed like this, but Mexican authorities refused them re-entry.

Viking04 said...

2011, 3 months after Barack Hussein Obama Dada declared himself Benevolent Leader for Life, retirees in South Florida try to blend in and avoid the Mugabe squads.

dadoctah said...

Canadian border security express growing concern over the problem of wetbacks coming across the border from Minnesota.

metalgarth said...

Overheard at the latest meeting of N.O.W....

It says right here in the bylaws that if a Negro becomes president before a woman we all have to wear sombreros and half to let our mustaches grow for a whole year.

OK... who made that stupid bet with NAACP

Kaptain Krude said...

Whatever you do, do NOT ask to see their fish tacos.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The staff worried that the old biddy's passive aggressiveness could spiral out of control after they refused to shave their upper lips until Bert trimmed his nose hair.

-OR-

Medicare Fraud - giving denture-wearing nursing home residents red licorice sticks while accepting kickbacks from the local franchise of Dentists on Call.

Rodney Dill said...

"What's sex like with these two, Senor?"
"Uh.... Depends."

sonicfrog said...

Who are you calling a Senior!

sonicfrog said...

More proof that Hollywood is scraping the bottom of the barrel - they're really are making a sequel to "The Three Amigos"!

Jay Guevara said...

"Nope, I still don't feel any wiser."

"That's because you're dressed up as a Latino, not a Latina. You need the juice of two favored constituencies to get props."

Submariner said...

"Brittanicus said..."

Uuuuuuhhhh... Brit. Baby.
This is a "humor" blog, not poloitical commentary of a serious nature. I suggest "The Daily Kos" for that kind of commentary. They'll LOVE your concepts and probably write many, many positive, encouraging types of replies...

Mwahahahahahahahaha

Submariner said...

Dusty... mmmmmm, Now THERE was a cowpoke that could poke the horns off the steer, if you get my drift.

Submariner said...

♪ In a little cafe, just the other side of the border...♪

Submariner said...

OK, so we're all agreed - we have seen a bit of benefit in healthcare, but all our yards are looking better?




ATDHE-A

dub said...

Eeeen Mehico, Fridee iz zee new Thurzday.

dub said...

Thought bubbles from left to right:

"According to my calculations, my penis really IS bigger than Bea Arthurs."

"I forgot what we were doing an hour ago."

"Oops, crapped my pants."

Mr. Hankey said...

Delores says she needs more batteries for her stimulus package.

Rodney Dill said...

"G-14"
"O-25"
"R-3"
"GRINGO"

(WV: horthes -- as in They Shoot horthes don't they? ...and mount them in Enumclaw