Friday, July 17, 2009
1. "All right, let's begin our new lives as illegal immigrants; welfare, free health care, and no taxes. Here we come!"
2. "Nope, I still don't feel any wiser."
3. Americans adjust to the reality that, under ObamaCare, illegal aliens will get better health care than senior citizens.
4. Americans save money by eating Doritos on the porch while pretending to be at Chili's; slamming gallons of Margaritas also helped sustain the illusion.
5. "Nope, didn't work. That cute Governor Sanford still isn't interested."
Best of Unscrupulous
The infamous Tres Putas Gang sat and plotted their next Bingo Hall robbery.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Checking again that they had done everything required in the Craiglist ad, the three women still were shocked that "Big Black Stud" hadn't approached them at the licorice stand.
Best of GregMan
Ennui: The Secret Curse Of America's Elderly
Best of GregMan
John McCain's campaign groupies were about what everyone expected.
Best of Red Neckerson
Accoding to this book, we are going about this all wrong. And trust me! You don't EVEN want to know the proper way to perform a Dirty Sanchez......
Best of metalgarth
Overheard at the latest meeting of N.O.W....
It says right here in the bylaws that if a Negro becomes president before a woman we all have to wear sombreros and half to let our mustaches grow for a whole year.
OK... who made that stupid bet with NAACP
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Medicare Fraud - giving denture-wearing nursing home residents red licorice sticks while accepting kickbacks from the local franchise of Dentists on Call.
Best of dub
Thought bubbles from left to right:
"According to my calculations, my penis really IS bigger than Bea Arthurs."
"I forgot what we were doing an hour ago."
"Oops, crapped my pants."
Best of Rodney Dill