Friday, July 24, 2009

Shaq-Fu Panda

Jack Bauer

1. "No one but us will ever see these pictures Mr. O'Neal. Enjoy your stay in Enumclaw."

2. Shaq was awesome at charades, but his friends not being South Park fans, never guessed the answer was "Sexual Harassment Panda."

3. "Congrats on getting out of prison, Michael Vick. Let's take this thing out to the dog pens and watch 'em rip it apart."

4. "When you said I was going to meet something half-white, half-black that was born in a foreign country, I thought you meant the president."

5. "Does this bother you? I'm not touching you. Does this bother you? I'm not touching you."

Wicked Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Inspired by the Food Network show featuring the chip shop that will "deep fry anything," Shaq plans a trip to New York.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Kobe! The panda is open!"

Best of Viking04
Shaq tried to be a good sport about it after Ling Ling beat him on 'Celebrity Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?"

Best of Oiao
Shaq splits his travel time between visiting the Chinese sweat shops producing his signature line sneakers, and scratching his Panda fettish itch.

Best of curly
In Enumclaw, the "Panda Express" costs you $50 and gets you a 20 minute quickie with Ling Ling.

Best of dadoctah
The Chinese just don't "get" the whole department-store Santa thing.

Best of Submariner
Panda thought bubble; "STUFFING the ol' balls into the hole... Ri-i-i-i-i-ght..."

19 comments:

Whacko said...

Shaq may have to work on his bedroom repartee. The panda seems bored.

The Man said...

Yo panda, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that comes up.

dadoctah said...

And you thought "Kazaam" was fiction!

Rodney Dill said...

Once you go Black&White, you'll never go back?

dub said...

I cant stand that part of me is black....but at least I dont look like some big dumb ape. What??? I have one behind me, dont I?

Chrees said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mpur said...

I'm a saaad panda.

mklasing said...

Ling Ling was shocked--"why is he sticking a gun in the middle of my lower back" she thought?

mklasing said...

Shaq finds out the hard way what happens to your endorsement opportunities when you play for loosers and can barely make it up and down the court.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Inspired by the Food Network show featuring the chip shop that will "deep fry anything," Shaq plans a trip to New York.

Jack Reacher said...

"Kobe! The panda is open!"

Viking04 said...

Shaq tried to be a good sport about it after Ling Ling beat him on 'Celebrity Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?"

Oiao said...

Shaq splits his travel time between visiting the Chinese sweat shops producing his signature line sneakers, and scratching his Panda fettish itch.

sonicfrog said...

Taking note of the Michael Vick situation, Shaqil O'Neal has managed to keep his Panda fighting ring a secret.

paul said...

Panda thought bubble... "thank God I'm not a poodle"

curly said...

In Enumclaw, the "Panda Express" costs you $50 and gets you a 20 minute quickie with Ling Ling.

dadoctah said...

The Chinese just don't "get" the whole department-store Santa thing.

Submariner said...

When you can't be with anyone who loves you, you got to love the one you're with.

Submariner said...

Panda thought bubble; "STUFFING the ol' balls into the hole... Ri-i-i-i-i-ght..."