Monday, July 20, 2009

Relics

Brender

1. "Orrin, do you ever feel... not so fresh?"

2. "Ted, do you have a minute to talk about Ron Paul?"

3. "Before the Stimulus Grant, this was just a sleazy bath house. Now, it's an upscale, Victorian-themed bath house."

4. "I agree, Ted. Barbara Boxer is one stupid bitch."

5. "Ted. Get. Your. Wide. Stance. About. 80. Feet. Away. From. Me."

Best of GregMan
"Orrin, I've found that if you just drive the b!tch off a bridge and let her drown, it cuts down on the paternity claims considerably."

Best of Mr. Hankey
"Bene, Don Kennedy. I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a million dollars in cash. I need, Don Kennedy, all of those politicians that you carry around in your pocket, like so many nickels and dimes."

Best of Mr. Hankey
Sorry Orrin. The lads don't want you in the group anymore. They want Ringo.

Best of Unscrupulous
"You know it's a big freekin' room you ass-clown. Do you have to sit right next to me?"

Best of Mr. Hankey
It's sad about your cancer Ted, but I just don't want to remember you this way...I want to remember you as a rotting maggot-infested corpse.

Best of mklasing
"Orrin, now that I'm at the end I have a confession to make--I cheated at the 'contest', I'm not Master of my Domain."

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, same here. Not even a handful of Viagra helps."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
For being brain dead, Teddy, that's a remarkable analogy! Congress, bankers and corporate execs are driving drunk on a rickety bridge, and americans are the naive young woman. Maybe we can get away with this debacle!

Best of Rodney Dill
"Let's go razz that pig and frog some more."

25 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes... I do like gladiator movies."

Rodney Dill said...

"Man Teddy, the part in your hair just isn't right anymore."

Army of Dad said...

Ted: NO! I must have stem cells!

GregMan said...

"I always liked Oldsmobiles. 'Course, they don't float so well."

GregMan said...

"Orrin, I've found that if you just drive the b!tch off a bridge and let her drown, it cuts down on the paternity claims considerably."

GregMan said...

"Ted, why can't I quit you?"

Matt the K said...

"Next on Nature, we get a never-before seen vermin's-eye-view within the rats' nest!"

Mr. Hankey said...

"Bene, Don Kennedy. I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a million dollars in cash. I need, Don Kennedy, all of those politicians that you carry around in your pocket, like so many nickels and dimes."

Mr. Hankey said...

But when I dump them in the Great Salt Lake, they don't sink to the bottom!

Mr. Hankey said...

Sorry Orrin. The lads don't want you in the group anymore. They want Ringo.

Mr. Hankey said...

You blinked first!!

Mr. Hankey said...

So are you thinking we ask for a two-fer?

Unscrupulous said...

"You know it's a big freekin' room you ass-clown. Do you have to sit right next to me?"

Army of Dad said...

Ted and Orrin wait for their aides to perform the daily wind up routine.

Mr. Hankey said...

It's sad about your cancer Ted, but I just don't want to remember you this way...I want to remember you as a rotting maggot-infested corpse.

dadoctah said...

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that. What kind of work do *you* do?"

wv: ranutra. Ask your doctor if it's right for you.

mklasing said...

"Orrin, now that I'm at the end I have a confession to make--I cheated at the 'contest', I'm not Master of my Domain."

Jack Reacher said...

"Remember that 'Contest' episode on Seinfeld? I only made it six hours. You?"
"Three."

Jay Guevara said...

"Yeah, same here. Not even a handful of Viagra helps."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

For being brain dead, Teddy, that's a remarkable analogy! Congress, bankers and corporate execs are driving drunk on a rickety bridge, and americans are the naive young woman. Maybe we can get away with this debacle!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Universal DayCare for Congress
Very good, Teddy! Now you know your A,B,C's! Oh, look, here comes Aunt Nancy, the honorable babysitter from California, for your 3 o'clock feeding.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Yes, godfather, you have been exceedingly generous. To convince enough of my fellow naysayers to vote for that liberal healthcare boonsdoggle, exactly where would I lay my hands on 7 horse heads?

Rodney Dill said...

"Let's go razz that pig and frog some more."

Artfldgr said...

In order to diversivy the political press corps "little people" were hired.

Artfldgr said...

So Jim, can we cut to the snake cam we left in the white house?