Monday, July 27, 2009

Hillary Gets Lei'd

Brender

1. "You'll call me 'Madame Secretary,' not 'Ma'am.' I've worked damn hard to get to this position. Now, are you clear on that, or do I have to smack you again?"

2. "And right over there is where we'll build the Soylent Green plant to handle the people it isn't cost-effective to treat under ObamaCare."

3. "My car's over there, Gandhi. Fill it with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste."

4. The combination of curry and Hilldawg flatulence proves too much even for a Calcutta sewer worker.

5. "You don't need to avert your eyes, Apu. Sure, some people turn to stone when they look at my face, but not everybody."


Best of kg
Anyone notice she's unbuttoned two buttons? Anyone need a barf bag now?

Best of metalgarth
The White House staff version of South Pacific is guaranteed to suck major ass

Best of Mr. Hankey
Scenes from the Bollywood version of Willy Wonka - After Bandhu Wonka had warned her not to chew the gum, Violet Beauregarde (played by Hillary) begins to turn into a giant blueberry.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
In the background, the Ambassador wondered why the Secretary of State was explaining her foreign policy package to the janitor.


Best of curly
Hillary is held in the highest regard when visiting India, where all cows are sacred.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I assure you, Madame Secretary, there is no garlic in that wreath. We are aware of your, ah, allergy."

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Sanjay barely manages to stifle his laughter as Hillary explains how she got her job.

Best of Silhouette
"Come on, I'll throw in rust-proofing and undercoating, and free floor mats."

Best of mega
In a bizarre update of Back To The Future, Clinton found her body parts started getting blurry and disappearing whenever no one in the entire United States knew or cared where she was or what she was doing. It always started with the hands.

32 comments:

jj said...

Vice-President Biden said you will gawd-damn open that 7-11.

kg said...

Anyone notice she's unbuttoned two buttons? Anyone need a barf bag now?


wv: billy. Oh, Billy. The havoc you've caused this country.

metalgarth said...

The White House staff version of South Pacific is guaranteed to suck major ass

vw: porsho (poor show)

Mr. Hankey said...

If this is what you people call getting laid, them your BJ is going to be a 'Bite Job'.

Mr. Hankey said...

Scenes from the Bollywood version of Willy Wonka - After Bandhu Wonka had warned her not to chew the gum, Violet Beauregarde (played by Hillary) begins to turn into a giant blueberry.

Mr. Hankey said...

C'mon....Bill could get a lousy intern and I can't even a darned my taxi driver.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

In the background, the Ambassador wondered why the Secretary of State was explaining her foreign policy package to the janitor.

curly said...

Hillary is held in the highest regard when visiting India, where all cows are sacred.

dub said...

Actually Apu, I hang these fragrant flowers around my neck to try to offset the stench.

Jack Reacher said...

"I assure you, Madame Secretary, there is no garlic in that wreath. We are aware of your, ah, allergy."

Submariner said...

Get me a Slurpy THIS BIG, Apu, and make it snappy!

Submariner said...

"...and President Obamalama sends this bag of McDonald's on account that he knows you people like beef. What's that? 'Sacred cows?' Whatever... Bill always liked them best with ketchup and mustard."

Submariner said...

"Now, behold the power of the Kenyan side..."

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble on guy: "Must restrain impulse to tighten that lei. Must restrain impulse to tighten that lei..."

dadoctah said...

"Who you calling untouchable?!"

Oiao said...

Raj-iamastinkything yet again resented being compared, by an American Socialist douch bag, to yet another American Socialist douch bag named Danny Devito.

Rodney Dill said...

What happens in Phuket, stays in Phuket.

WV: hosith

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Sanjay barely manages to stifle his laughter as Hillary explains how she got her job.

dadoctah said...

"I always had good relations with Indians back when Bill and I were in Arkansas. Seminoles, mostly."

Army of Dad said...

Hill: "Where are my virgins!?"

Guy: Madame Secretary, this favor I can not do.

Silhouette said...

"Come on, I'll throw in rust-proofing and undercoating, and free floor mats."

divine miss m said...

Looks like all we need now are a lava lamp and some sitar music.

Mr. Hankey said...

What poverty?? I heard about the movie, they're all millionaires!

Mr. Hankey said...

You telling me I need to pay $69.95 just to ask you a question about my Dell computer?

Achilles said...

"How did I survive all those muthafuckin' snakes on that muthafukin' plane? Professional courtesy."

dadoctah said...

Ravi Shankar and Grace Slick reminisce on the fortieth anniversary of Woodstock, while a bemused John "Bowser" Baumann looks on.

Submariner said...

Seriously, Ravi; I've lost weight!

Submariner said...

Ghandi's thought bubble; "Not enough mushrooms in the western hemisphere to make me want that...

Jay Guevara said...

"Nah, nah, I don't wanna try any of the positions of the Kama Sutra with your ass."

wv: phackali (seems appropriate, somehow).

mega said...

In a bizarre update of Back To The Future, Clinton found her body parts started getting blurry and disappearing whenever no one in the entire United States knew or cared where she was or what she was doing. It always started with the hands.

Rodney Dill said...

"When you said you wanted to get lei'd, I thought you meant the same as me."

Brer Wulf said...

This is the first time I've had a man put something around my neck that wasn't white and all sticky!

"Say, do these blood-flavored tic-Tacs really cover up the smell of old lesbian"?