Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Don't Do It, Newsom

Brender
1. "You, flunky, bring me the CostCo-sized container of Vaseline. Right Now!"

2. "And I support same-sex marriage because I respect the sacred vows of the holy institution of... bwah ha ha ha ha ha ... ha ha ha... I'm sorry, let's try it again. I'll try to keep a straight face this time."

3. After a political opponent altered his teleprompter sign-off to, "Up your ass, San Francisco," Newsom's poll numbers actually increased.

4. "You know what really grinds my gears? When my aides won't slam meth with me and let me shag their wives. Yes, I mean you, Marty!"

5. ORA: "You can grow every kind of fruit and vegetable you want. That's how they do it. They have fruit trees and vegetable trees. That's where fruit and vegetable come from."

Best of Rodney Dill
220, 221, whatever it takes...

Best of Mr. Hankey
Breaking into a Spoce Girls routine, Newsom mesmorizes the crowd.

Best of Silhouette
"Mr. Carlson asked me to issue an apology and assure the public that we thought turkeys could fly."

Best of Mr. Hankey
Whipping off his tie while grinding his hips, Gavin points to the crowd as he reaches for his first dollar.

Best of dadoctah
"I didn't get a harrumph out of that guy."

Best of Jay Guevara
"Sure, I know all the show tunes. This one's just for you, big boy."

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's my birthday and I get to choose anyone I want. I pick you! Take off your clothes and lay down in front of the camera.

Rodney Dill said...

Does this finger smell like ass to you?

Rodney Dill said...

220, 221, whatever it takes...

Mr. Hankey said...

Breaking into a Spoce Girls routine, Newsom mesmorizes the crowd.

Silhouette said...

"Mr. Carlson asked me to issue an apology and assure the public that we thought turkeys could fly."

Mr. Hankey said...

Whipping off his tie while grinding his hips, Gavin points to the crowd as he reaches for his first dollar.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"No, really. Dave loves it when I chuck him under the chin like this."

dadoctah said...

"I didn't get a harrumph out of that guy."

wv: qualogi. It's our most imporgant proguct.

Oiao said...

Worthless!


(umstedem = what you are after having too much to drink)

Jack Reacher said...

"It was...You! Mr. Plum, in the library, with a candle stick!" Gavin proves that he really, really doesn't care any more.

Submariner said...

Forget those little "network mics" and bring me a Hollywood boom-mic to deepthroat...

Submariner said...

In his second commercial, Alec Balwin chooses a public puppet to consume on camera, proving how very real the first round was.

Jay Guevara said...

"Sure, I know all the show tunes. This one's just for you, big boy."

Oiao said...

"I put the pride back into gay. And don't you forget it!"

metalgarth said...

Ever since Billy Mays passing, everyone is trying to become the next "infomercial star"