Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Aunt Jean Never Married



1. "Excuse us ... we'd like to be alone for a while."

2. Lady, could you clear out for a minute. Jim Lileks needs to photograph this room for the sequel to Interior Desecrators.

3. A participant at an ObamaCare Town Hall Meeting demands nationalized health care for her faceless, limbless, freak-baby.

4. How many of Andrew Sullivan's sexual fetishes can you spot in this picture?

5. Enzyte's new ads are even less subtle.

Wicked Best of metalgarth
Many years later Marci, started taking the "great pumpkin" thing a little too seriously

Best of Viking04
Dog Thought Bubble: "God, please give me Scotchguard fur, or just kill me."

Best of Army of Dad
"just never you mind where I got the yeast!

Best of Silhouette
Smoke one of these, Toto, and we'll be back over the rainbow.

Best of molson
In some countries, these would be the ingredients for a balanced diet.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Welcome back to Elayne's World. Next up, I'm going to fit one of these into the other. Stick around to find out which one is which." Early 90's cable TV shows began to get a little weird.

Best of Army of Mom
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this squash. The squash and the pillow and that's all I need. And this remote control. The squash, the pillow, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And the Peruvian band pillow. The squash, and the Peruvian band pillow, and the remote control and the orange floral pillow. And this lamp. The squash, the Peruvian band pillow and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The squash, and the Peruvian band pillow, and the remote control, and the purple pillow, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The squash, the remote control, the Peruvian band pillow, this orange floral pillow and the purple pillow. And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

Best of Army of Mom
Eunice shows why she doesn't need a man. Not shown: peanut butter.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Thinking she had committed the perfect crime, Sylvie poses for pictures, not realizing she never washed Steve McNair's blood off of the gourd.

Best of DoubleU
"Grown from a seed, likes to read, and I peed" Carnac the Magnificent gets another one correct.

Best of dadoctah
Is it possible for a MySpace account to have a *negative* number of friends?

41 comments:

kg said...

Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I'll eat you, my pretty and your little dog too!

paul said...

At home with the LensCrafters Eyebuldge chick.

Viking04 said...

Thought bubble: Need to clip the dog's nails

Viking04 said...

Dog Thought Bubble: "God, please give me Scotchguard fur, or just kill me."

Blue said...

Thanks to Obama, I married both my dog and my lover.

metalgarth said...

Many years later Marci, started taking the "great pumpkin" thing a little too seriously

Army of Dad said...

Tuber and lubeher.

Army of Dad said...

ORA: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

No but this woman can.

Army of Dad said...

Olive Garden's idea of 'unlimited breadsticks' paled in comparison to Jeanie's.

Army of Dad said...

"just never you mind where I got the yeast!

dadoctah said...

Why you should never drop in on an education major unannounced.

dadoctah said...

After the relationship soured, Cynthia Nixon was reduced to performing impromptu puppet shows in her living room using anything that happened to fall within reach.

Anonymous said...

If your happy and you know show a gourd...

Silhouette said...

Smoke one of these, Toto, and we'll be back over the rainbow.

molson said...

Two timer!

molson said...

In some countries, these would be the ingredients for a balanced diet.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Welcome back to Elayne's World. Next up, I'm going to fit one of these into the other. Stick around to find out which one is which." Early 90's cable TV shows began to get a little weird.

mpur said...

ORA: I'm gonna pretend you're the New York Knicks.

Army of Mom said...

And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this squash. The squash and the pillow and that's all I need. And this remote control. The squash, the pillow, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And the Peruvian band pillow. The squash, and the Peruvian band pillow, and the remote control and the orange floral pillow. And this lamp. The squash, the Peruvian band pillow and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The squash, and the Peruvian band pillow, and the remote control, and the purple pillow, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The squash, the remote control, the Peruvian band pillow, this orange floral pillow and the purple pillow. And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

Army of Mom said...

Looks like another hot Friday night in Enumclaw.

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

Eunice shows why she doesn't need a man. Not shown: peanut butter.

Army of Mom said...

President Obama's latest campaign to promote his stimulus bill: instead of a chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage, you'll get a giant squash and mystery meat (still on the hoof.)

Army of Mom said...

Going so soon? I wouldn't hear of it. Why my little party's just beginning.

or

Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you, my pretty and your little dog too!

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

Eunice's idea of a menage trois.

pssst, that means a threesome for dub and you folks in Rio Linda.

Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom: the widow years.

Army of Mom said...

And, no I don't have this outfit .... yet. Give me 30-40 years. And, the squash. Yeah, give me the squash ...

Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom treasured the 'make your own dildo' of Army of Dad's penis after his passing. Ok, she did more than treasure it.

Army of Mom said...

Pardon me while I whip this out.

Army of Mom said...

Please don't make me go to grandma's again. She scares me.

Army of Mom said...

Latest success story on eHarmony.com.

Army of Mom said...

Eunice never forgot her visit to Scotland where she had her way with Wilt Chamberlin.

wv: uplate - yes, she was

dub said...

Giving the dog a bone....UR ABOUT TO DO IT RONG.

Mr. Hankey said...

Since her first meeting with the squash, Sylvie now only stares into space.

Mr. Hankey said...

Thinking she had committed the perfect crime, Sylvie poses for pictures, not realizing she never washed Steve McNair's blood off of the gourd.

Mr. Hankey said...

Three votes according to Acorn.

Silhouette said...

The farmer boasted that everything grew bigger on his land. Behold: a baby carrot, a rat, and Calista Lockhart.

dadoctah said...

This is the last thing I saw before Kevin McCarthy starting yelling "YOU'RE NEXT!"

DoubleU said...

"Grown from a seed, likes to read, and I peed" Carnac the Magnificent gets another one correct.

dadoctah said...

Is it possible for a MySpace account to have a *negative* number of friends?