Wednesday, June 24, 2009

When you're a man, the world is your Port-a-Flush


1. The DNC came to regret letting Barney Frank direct their Stimulus-promotion DVD, Shovel Ready when the finished project turned out to be nothing more than 90 minutes of young men pissing into a big hole. (It was, however, a perfectly apt metaphor for the Stimulus itself.)

2. Bryan's OCD led him to spend six hours digging the perfect pit to take a leak by the side of the road.

3. In 2011, critics would complain that Obama's policy of having conservatives dig their own graves prior to their execution was "Nazi-like," Rachel Maddow, Robert Gibbs, and David Shuster were quick to point out that they were provided with gloves, helmets, and other safety gear while doing so.

4. It was a pretty elaborate grave for a hamster, but Richard Gere insisted "This one was special."

5. "Nope, no treasure here. Just an iron box with some weird Kenyan birth certficate in it."

Instantly Promoted Best of Tim:
Butters, at age 26



Best of The Man
Brian completed his "pissing on a dead hookers face" merit badge, twice.

Best of Rich Bateman
With their pants around their ankles and shovels in hand, America prepares for health care reform under the Obama plan.

Best of Jay Guevara
2059 taxpayer: "There. That's the grave of the last politician who voted for the stimulus. I think I've got every one of 'em now."

Best of Submariner
And a little for my brothers who are no longer here.

giggle

Best of Mr. Hankey
After admiring his work upon closing the tunnel coming from Mexico, Kyle proceeds to sign his name.

Best of dub
Meanwhile, out behind Neverland Ranch...
What? Too soon?

21 comments:

The Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Man said...

"What is 'a metaphor for ABC news' reputation'? I'll take Media Whores for $400, Alex.

The Man said...

Brian completed his "pissing on a dead hookers face" merit badge, twice.

dub said...

Brian takes a moment to admire The Big Brown-Eye at the Rosie O'Donnell State Park.

Rich Bateman said...

With their pants around their ankles and shovels in hand, America prepares for health care reform under the Obama plan.

Jay Guevara said...

2059 taxpayer: "There. That's the grave of the last politician who voted for the stimulus. I think I've got every one of 'em now."

Submariner said...

...and three "pisses into the wind" to the east. This must finally be the place!

Submariner said...

The "water drillers" they used to make wells in Enumclaw were a might different than the rest of the country.

Submariner said...

Ever since that one time at Life Guard Camp, dunes made Barry have to take a "lee-side break."

Submariner said...

And a little for my brothers who are no longer here.

giggle

Tim said...

Butters, at age 26

Chrees said...

The campers who were assigned latrine duty always dreaded Burrito Night.

Mr. Hankey said...

True conservationists will dig a hole & bury their urine to protect the environment.

Mr. Hankey said...

While spending time at ditch-digging college - Kyle wears has his protective helmut just a little too tight. Kyle refuses to listen to his professors telling him to quit peeing up a hillside while standing at the botton so that the pee does not come running back down on him.

Mr. Hankey said...

Upon unearthing prehistoric porn, Kyle takes matters into his own hands.

Mr. Hankey said...

After admiring his work upon closing the tunnel coming from Mexico, Kyle proceeds to sign his name.

molson said...

Oh damn. I got some sand in my vagina.

Jay Guevara said...

"Hello, Mr. Hoffa!"

dub said...

Meanwhile, out behind Neverland Ranch...


What? Too soon?

Whacko said...

Its important,when digging oneself into a hole, to first stop digging

Whacko said...

What happens when you relieve yourself facing uphill? Why, your tootsies get a little moist, if you get my drift.