Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Lunch Box Surprise
1. The lunchbox surprise turned out to be a human head. Billy's mom was one sick intercourse!
2. Billy opened his "Hope and Change" lunchbox to find nothing but an ACORN voter registration pamphlet and a bill for $429,500.
3. Billy thought his guinea pig would be perfectly fine in his airtight lunchbox until show and tell. Billy was wrong.
4. Billy's shock at finding that his mom had Lorena Bobbitted his dad was compounded by Kineesha's scathing comments about length and girth.
5. The lunch box surprise: A note from Mrs. LeTourneau reading "Meet me in the janitor's closet."
Best of Double the U
It was a note from Mom, "Your father and I are getting a divorce, it is all your fault."
Best of Submariner
Kimodo Dragon sandwiches? NOOOOOOO!
Best of Jack Reacher
While the kids were baffled by the small bags of white powder, Billy's dad had some fast talking to do when he tried to collect $25,000 for a tuna salad sandwich and an apple.
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Barney Frank? How did you get under the table?"
Best of dadoctah
1950: Mrs Cronenberg alters the course of history when she sends little David to school with a lunch of natto and balut.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Little Kyle was shocked to see naked pictures of his father attached to a note that said "Give to Miss Duplussey"
Best of Army of Dad
"That's not a candy bar!"
Best of Oiao
An instant lesson in horror as they not only found Waldo, but that decomposition is a bitch.