Monday, June 08, 2009

If Looks Could Kill...

Sondra K

1. Standard M'chel Cap #1: "Don't you turn away from me, you chalk-faced whore."

2. Carla tried to remember. "Is the Predator the one with the little mouth inside the big one, or am I thinking of something else?"

3. Standard M'Chel Cap #2: "P'tagh! I will rip out your heart with my b'athleth and show it to you while it is still beating."

4. Remembering that M'Chel's visual acuity was based on movement, Carla tries to remain absolutely still.

5. "Hm, no bite marks on her long white neck. I guess she hasn't met Pelosi yet."

Best of GregMan
Carla tried hard not to return Muh-chelle's stare, knowing that gorillas interpret direct eye contact as a threat.

Best of dub
White woman thought bubble: "Why does that lady from the syrup bottle keep staring at me??".

Best of dub
Standard capshun #471: "You know what I hate the most about Anna Nicole Smith?? What? She's right behind me, isn't she?"

Best of Submariner
The Predator sizes up it's next selection...

Best of ThisOne
Carla: "That's ash falling from the sky. What's going on here?"
Michelle: "...Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."

Best of Double the U
Bitch's staff wouldn't make me none of those real french fries.

Best of Mr. Hankey
"What you talkin' bout Carla?"

Best of Submariner
Thought bubble; "Why WON'T this chalk-faced whore go shopping with me at Old Navy?"

Best of conservativeteen
Carla's "an Obama supporter's facial expression" failed to impress Michelle

51 comments:

Viking04 said...

Now, isn't that the M'chelle we all know and love?

paul said...

And to think I was once proud to be French.

Matt the K said...

"Oh no she DIH-UNHH!!!

HLam said...

Helmet head thought bubble: "Don't you be lookin' at *my* man..."

GregMan said...

"I don' has to be unhingin' my jaw to swallows that skany ho's head."

GregMan said...

Carla tried hard not to return Muh-chelle's stare, knowing that gorillas interpret direct eye contact as a threat.

GregMan said...

"I'll get you, you skanky white ho, and your little dog too!"

GregMan said...

Man, if something that nasty looking was giving me the stink-eye, I wouldn't need any damn laxative.

Jack Reacher said...

"She looks like O-Positive. Time to make a withdrawal from the blood bank."

Jack Reacher said...

"I saw how you voted your Dancing With The Stars ballot. Bitch."

jj said...

DAMN! I find the nude photos, post them on the internet, and she gets more popular. Don't these MF'n French recognize a smear job when they see one.

dub said...

Whitey wears black, blackie wears white. All we're missing now is Ted Danson.

dub said...

Ebony, and Ivory...
Working together in perfect, harmony...
Side by side you're my hero, negro, why don't we....

dub said...

White woman thought bubble: "Why does that lady from the syrup bottle keep staring at me??".

dub said...

Standard capshun #471: "You know what I hate the most about Anna Nicole Smith?? What? She's right behind me, isn't she?"

Submariner said...

The Predator sizes up it's next selection...

Submariner said...

Evolution theory confirmation in 3... 2...

Submariner said...

Now ist der time at Schprockets vhen ve select a Carotid for der next break...

Jay Guevara said...

Michelle thought bubble: "Typical white person, mean and hating those of other races."

dadoctah said...

"I swear to god if she breaks into song I'm going to lose my lunch!"

ThisOne said...

Carla: "That's ash falling from the sky. What's going on here?"


Michelle: "...Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."

Double the U said...

Bitch's staff wouldn't make me none of those real french fries.

mpur said...

Those candid shots of Michelle are just awesome, aren't they?

Double the U said...

"Michelle my belle?", it means Michelle my little ding dong.

dadoctah said...

"Hmmm. If I ever *was* going to turn lesbian, this would be the day for it."

Anonymous said...

Thought bubble over Carla's head, "Let the Wookie win."

steve o said...

Michelle thought bubble:

"Well, she's sorta pretty... I guess."

steve o said...

Carla's knows from survival training to avoid making eye contact.

mega said...

M'chel sourly concluded that Carla's stare was still six degrees too high, and she would never master the 52 degree stare-into-the-half-distance. Sadly, like the other stare-failers before her such as Bibi, France would be pestered by the hubby to give up its nukes and cease all planned or natural growth in and around Paris.

mega said...

That smug supermodel face is gonna look reaaaaal nice over some Moslem overlord's fireplace in about 20 years, nnnn-hnnnn.

Mr. Hankey said...

"What you talkin' bout Carla?"

prince of leaves said...

"Bitch...if she'd told me this was a memorial service, I would have worn black."

dadoctah said...

"What is *wrong* with these French people? Thinks Jerry Lewis is a friggin' genius, but she can't spare the tiniest smile for a *real* comic visionary like Paul Blart Mall Cop!"

Mr Hankey said...

"....if that cracker-ass bitch keeps calling me 'Mammy' &says 'fiddle-dee-dee' to me just one more time..."

Anonymous said...

My sunny disposition and tolerance for other cultures? Why, you can't listen to Reverend Wright for 20 years and not come away with nothing.

Capt. Queeg said...

"Ignore the black FLOTUS. Ignore the black FLOTUS. Ignore... Look, black FLOTUS, I'm ignoring you... Ignore the black FLOTUS."

Nose said...

Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Anonymous said...

Beauty and WTF?

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "Why WON'T this chalky faced bi-yatch go shopping with me at Old Navy?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Ah could jes' slap the taste outta her mouf!"

Jay Guevara said...

If Barry has endured that look, he's got more balls than I gave him credit for. That's some weapons-grade stinkeye there.

Submariner said...

"6, 7 lbs of torque, tops, to snap that scrawny neck..."

Submariner said...

Why's she squirmin' like dat? It's JUST a little snuke...

mpur said...

Who knew Michelle was a descendant of Marie Laveau?

Mr. Hankey said...

Michelle studies under Carla's masterful tuterage. Gazing in wonder as you husband speaks is an art that she needed to learn quickly.

Anonymous said...

i'ma CUT that bitch when she look away.

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: "Bitch took my ride."

Anonymous said...

Carla, I suggest you let the Wookie win.

dub said...

If that bitch coughs and mutters "Kunta Kinte" one more time Imma gonna get all up in her grill.

Dactyl said...

M'Chel thought bubble: "I wonder if there's any dijon mustard around here..."

conservativeteen said...

Carla's "an Obama supporter's facial expression" failed to impress Michelle