Saturday, June 20, 2009

Garanimals



1. How to tell if your kids have been molested by Mark Trail.

2. "Today in kindergarten sex-ed, we'll be role-playing gay archetypes such as the Bear, the Wolf, and the fine piece of ass."

3. "Yo, Barney Frank, our eyes are up *here.*"

4. "And if you don't keep your flies zipped up, wild animals will gobble your wieners." Army of Mom had some unusual disciplinary tactics.

5. San Francisco's strip clubs prepare to take advantage of the simultaneous NAMBLA and Plushie conventions.


Best of Army of Dad
I thought this was odd until I saw the mullet and knew that it was just Arkansas.

Best of mklasing
Years later their mother would say about the kid with the wolf: "I just don't know what made him build that bomb and blow up that high school."

Best of Chrees
#34 in items that make purity rings unnecessary

Best of Barco Sin Vela II
Even in Kindergarten, Larry the Cable Guy had a mullet and just didn't quite fit in.

Best of Unscrupulous
This is simply a sign of oncoming puberty...
"Fur, where there was no fur before"


(Yes, as a matter of fact, I do feel dirty for coming at this from the child abuse angle, but come on!)

21 comments:

dadoctah said...

Their first audition didn't go at all well for the young Jonas Brothers.

Double the U said...

The father said he would let his boys become male models as long as they didn't look like three pansy boys.

Army of Dad said...

Does a bear shit in your pants?

Army of Dad said...

I thought this was odd until I saw the mullet and knew that it was just Arkansas.

Army of Dad said...

Pant stuffing: FAIL!

mega said...

When finally confronted, the Revolutionary Guards turned out to be far less fearsome than people thought.

mklasing said...

Years later their mother would say about the kid with the wolf: "I just don't know what made him build that bomb and blow up that high school."

Achilles said...

Derek Smalls Children all know a little something about crotch stuffing.

Double the U said...

Photos that come back to haunt you the 2020 year edition.

Viking04 said...

That's just wrong, Andy.

Silhouette said...

Thanks, Mom, but the costumes were supposed to be animal pelts.

dadoctah said...

"Today in kindergarten sex-ed, we'll be role-playing gay archetypes such as the Bear, the Wolf, and the fine piece of ass."

"For you girls, you can choose your costumes from the Monkey, the Clam, the Beaver and the Pussy."

wv: rummin. But you can't hidin.

Julie the Jarhead said...

AOD, my guess was Australia.

Viking04 said...

PETA meets NAMBLA

Chrees said...

#34 in items that make purity rings unnecessary

Barco Sin Vela II said...

Even in Kindergarten, Larry the Cable Guy had a mullet and just didn't quite fit in.

Mr. Hankey said...

Not everyone is hung like a horse...

sonicfrog said...

Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger

Mushroom Mushroom

Oh a snake it's a snake Oh a snake....

Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger ....

Unscrupulous said...

This is simply a sign of oncoming puberty...

"Fur, where there was no fur before"

dub said...

From the first time young Sam had a bear in his pants, he knew that one day he'd be the Mayor of Portland.

Mr. Hankey said...

The proliferation of Mexican stem cells are starting to produce questionable results.