Monday, June 08, 2009

Appointment TV

Brender

1. "I can't believe you're making me watch this instead of So, You Think You Can Dance."

2. "I swear by Allah it is true! If you translate the 'ums' and 'uhs' into Morse code, he's saying C-I-L-L T-E-H J-O-O-S."

3. Even though they had never seen a single episode of South Park, Abdul and Mujihad responded to every line of Obama's speech with an exclamatory "Boom, Baby!"

4. Two ACORN 'volunteers' in Detroit attend a teleconferenced training session.

5. "Still better than watching Conan squander Leno's legacy."

Best of Jack Reacher
"You know, I'm thinking that Snuggie they showed is a pretty good idea. Imagine a blanket with sleeves!"

Best of dadoctah
"Four thirty, time for Wapner."

Best of prince of leaves
"Hey wait, this isn't the '24' marathon! President Palmer's waaay more butch than this douche."

Best of Submariner
"Uh, uh, uh, ummmmm..." He should just buy a vowel if he has no guess!

Best of Matt the K
"Dude, change it! Change it!"
"Can't....we used the remote to detonate your cousin."

Best of Rodney Dill
In certain parts of the world, Hulu's plan backfires.

Best of mega
"I swear to Allah, the next time he says "All too often" I'm gonna put a round right through that TV set."

Best of mega
"There's the one guy on Earth who's less able to responsibly manage a state than we are."

Best of Army of Dad
"Is it time to go outside and shoot into the air yet?

Best of Mr. Hankey
This year on Fox it's Martyr Swap - Two countries 'swap' their martyrs to see who can do the most damage. You'll laugh & cry.

54 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"See that tie? I gave it to him. Truth!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Are these the best seats Bill Ayers could come up with?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Okay, that's enough; find the remote, and let's check out the classic car auction."

Jack Reacher said...

"You know, I'm thinking that Snuggie they showed is a pretty good idea. Imagine a blanket with sleeves!"

metalgarth said...

I told you to go to Best Buy early to make sure we could get a Wii, but NOOOOOO...

dub said...

For the love of Allah, when does Futurama come on?

dub said...

This, it reminds me of the time when we *KABOOOOOOOOM*

HLam said...

"I'll take 'Allah and His Prophets' for $800 Alex."

Submariner said...

Two candidates on Barry O's "short list" for Supreme Court Justice watch his speech hoping to learn the proper responses for their futre confirmation hearings.

Submariner said...

Quit sniffling, Mohammed - even after he gives us Israel there will still be joooos in hiding that we can blow up...

Submariner said...

I dunno, Ahmed; I'd gladly bring him into our cell, but we'd have to take his wife as well...

...Of course, it would only be for a very short while.

Submariner said...

>Snort<

US born... we should have thought of this one lo-o-o-o-o-ong ago!

Viking04 said...

Look, KING OF THE HILL is canceled. Children of Greatest Generation are defeated.

Viking04 said...

When you think they give Achmed his own show, and not just Comedy Central specials?

dadoctah said...

"Four thirty, time for Wapner."

Unscrupulous said...

"Orville Redenbacher's a jew!", he says. "Popcorn is a tool of the devil", he says.

Well, what how the %*&# am I supposed to get rid of these munchies? Mahashi? yeah, right! I hate this place.

mpur said...

Ok, I'm convinced. Some methods of torture are too extreme.

Double the U said...

Are you sure this isn't 'The Weakest Link'?"

prince of leaves said...

"That teleprompter thing makes him sound so eloquent. We need to get one of those for our shaheeds for their martyrdom videos."

prince of leaves said...

"Merciful Allah, please send me back to Gitmo and make this suffering end!"

prince of leaves said...

"Hey wait, this isn't the '24' marathon! President Palmer's waaay more butch than this douche."

Submariner said...

"Uh, uh, uh, ummmmm..." He should just buy a vowel if he has no guess!

Submariner said...

He wants to buy another vowel? For the prophet's sake! Even we can see it's "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave" Can he truly be so clueless?

prince of leaves said...

The waiting room at the Hamas Social Wing's free dental clinic.

Submariner said...

If this is the best the great Satan can do, we've won!

Submariner said...

prince of leaves said...
The waiting room at the Hamas Social Wing's free dental clinic.


But the question is - do they have a Gideon's Bible and a Book of Mormon for reading in the waiting area?

Submariner said...

Which will the virgins like better; Arafat or the One?

Submariner said...

I think it's safe to say that Diogenes needs to continue looking...

Whacko said...

"So, Mehmet, after this you wanna go to Burger King and then see if we can pick up some goats?"

Matt the K said...

This week on "Queer Eye For The Straight Terrorist": Ahmed and Abdul are fabulous dressers, but their dorm room could use a touch of teh ghey.

Matt the K said...

"Dude, change it! Change it!"
"Can't. Remember?...we used the remote to detonate your cousin."

Rodney Dill said...

In certain parts of the world, Hulu's plan backfires.

Rodney Dill said...

Liberals Anonymous -- when you're just too embarassed to admit you watch FoxNews.

GregMan said...

"I still say I like Ryan Seacrest better."

GregMan said...

"We can cancel the jihad, Achmed. With this idiot as President, the Great Satan only has a couple of months to go before it collapse completely."

GregMan said...

"The One's speech convinced me to live in peace, Ibrahim. Let's go out and hug a jooo."

wv: trator - just an "i" short

GregMan said...

"This not Playboy Channel."

mega said...

"Man, this is like being right there in Cairo, but without the traffic, the noise, or spending half the day trying to find a parking space. Good call, Achmed."

mega said...

"I swear to Allah, the next time he says "All too often" I'm gonna put a round right through that TV set."

mega said...

"I don't get it. We got all dressed up for Law and Order...what is this shit?"

mega said...

Sura 365:12 And the Pedophile saith, whensoever a servant of Alllllah watches the people on the future little box thingy, the servant shall sit at a 90 degree angle to the box.

Submariner said...

Pali version of drinking games:
One gets "hope," the other gets "change." Whichever gets the lesser count at the end of the speech has to dial the other's detonator...

Submariner said...

You know, Ahmed, I thought Tiger could only play golf... but by Allah! he REALLY reads the teleprompter well!

mega said...

Mohamed and Jihad tried to look serious and determined, but the mood was ruined by Jihad's mom, Fatima. "When are you boys going to stop wasting time watching all that TV," came the sonorous voice from the kitchen, "And paint that damn room, like I asked a month ago?"

steve o said...

A teleclass at suicide bomber school:

"Okay class, now pay attention -- I'm only going to show you this ONCE!"

mega said...

"Do you think if we traded in these AK's, we could get a 42" flat screen with surround sound?"

Mr. Hankey said...

On tonight's Trading Spaces - The Achbadagah family and the Hachyatacha family decide to decoorate each other's rooms in a new stylish way. Will Achbad & Jamie like the new white room with an entertainment center??? Let's watch...

mega said...

"There's the one guy on Earth who's less able to responsibly manage a state than we are."

Kaptain Krude said...

Huffington Post readers lay in wait for V The K to make another mistake. "Ha! The idiot thinks the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor! We will show him, won't we, Jamal?"


wv: yalimera - A poor substitute for aloe vera.

Army of Dad said...

"Is it time to go outside and shoot into the air yet?

Army of Dad said...

The Prophet welcomes another martyr into paradise after the poor muzzle discipline of another believer led to an unfortunate accident.

wv: theraurse drop the 'u' and you got it right!

Mr. Hankey said...

This year on Fox it's Martyr Swap - Two countries 'swap' their martyrs to see who can do the most damage. You'll laugh & cry.

Mr. Hankey said...

"...Palestinians must abandon violence." - What??? That's my whole decorating and dress style!!

Dactyl said...

If they hadn't delayed the switch to digital TV, we wouldn't have to watch this.