1. "I can't believe you're making me watch this instead of So, You Think You Can Dance."
2. "I swear by Allah it is true! If you translate the 'ums' and 'uhs' into Morse code, he's saying C-I-L-L T-E-H J-O-O-S."
3. Even though they had never seen a single episode of South Park, Abdul and Mujihad responded to every line of Obama's speech with an exclamatory "Boom, Baby!"
4. Two ACORN 'volunteers' in Detroit attend a teleconferenced training session.
5. "Still better than watching Conan squander Leno's legacy."
Best of Jack Reacher
"You know, I'm thinking that Snuggie they showed is a pretty good idea. Imagine a blanket with sleeves!"
Best of dadoctah
"Four thirty, time for Wapner."
Best of prince of leaves
"Hey wait, this isn't the '24' marathon! President Palmer's waaay more butch than this douche."
Best of Submariner
"Uh, uh, uh, ummmmm..." He should just buy a vowel if he has no guess!
Best of Matt the K
"Dude, change it! Change it!"
"Can't....we used the remote to detonate your cousin."
Best of Rodney Dill
In certain parts of the world, Hulu's plan backfires.
Best of mega
"I swear to Allah, the next time he says "All too often" I'm gonna put a round right through that TV set."
Best of mega
"There's the one guy on Earth who's less able to responsibly manage a state than we are."
Best of Army of Dad
"Is it time to go outside and shoot into the air yet?
Best of Mr. Hankey
This year on Fox it's Martyr Swap - Two countries 'swap' their martyrs to see who can do the most damage. You'll laugh & cry.