1. "I can't believe you're making me watch this instead of So, You Think You Can Dance."
2. "I swear by Allah it is true! If you translate the 'ums' and 'uhs' into Morse code, he's saying C-I-L-L T-E-H J-O-O-S."
3. Even though they had never seen a single episode of South Park, Abdul and Mujihad responded to every line of Obama's speech with an exclamatory "Boom, Baby!"
4. Two ACORN 'volunteers' in Detroit attend a teleconferenced training session.
5. "Still better than watching Conan squander Leno's legacy."
Best of Jack Reacher
"You know, I'm thinking that Snuggie they showed is a pretty good idea. Imagine a blanket with sleeves!"
Best of dadoctah
"Four thirty, time for Wapner."
Best of prince of leaves
"Hey wait, this isn't the '24' marathon! President Palmer's waaay more butch than this douche."
Best of Submariner
"Uh, uh, uh, ummmmm..." He should just buy a vowel if he has no guess!
Best of Matt the K
"Dude, change it! Change it!"
"Can't....we used the remote to detonate your cousin."
Best of Rodney Dill
In certain parts of the world, Hulu's plan backfires.
Best of mega
"I swear to Allah, the next time he says "All too often" I'm gonna put a round right through that TV set."
Best of mega
"There's the one guy on Earth who's less able to responsibly manage a state than we are."
Best of Army of Dad
"Is it time to go outside and shoot into the air yet?
Best of Mr. Hankey
This year on Fox it's Martyr Swap - Two countries 'swap' their martyrs to see who can do the most damage. You'll laugh & cry.
54 comments:
"See that tie? I gave it to him. Truth!"
"Are these the best seats Bill Ayers could come up with?"
"Okay, that's enough; find the remote, and let's check out the classic car auction."
"You know, I'm thinking that Snuggie they showed is a pretty good idea. Imagine a blanket with sleeves!"
I told you to go to Best Buy early to make sure we could get a Wii, but NOOOOOO...
For the love of Allah, when does Futurama come on?
This, it reminds me of the time when we *KABOOOOOOOOM*
"I'll take 'Allah and His Prophets' for $800 Alex."
Two candidates on Barry O's "short list" for Supreme Court Justice watch his speech hoping to learn the proper responses for their futre confirmation hearings.
Quit sniffling, Mohammed - even after he gives us Israel there will still be joooos in hiding that we can blow up...
I dunno, Ahmed; I'd gladly bring him into our cell, but we'd have to take his wife as well...
...Of course, it would only be for a very short while.
>Snort<
US born... we should have thought of this one lo-o-o-o-o-ong ago!
Look, KING OF THE HILL is canceled. Children of Greatest Generation are defeated.
When you think they give Achmed his own show, and not just Comedy Central specials?
"Four thirty, time for Wapner."
"Orville Redenbacher's a jew!", he says. "Popcorn is a tool of the devil", he says.
Well, what how the %*&# am I supposed to get rid of these munchies? Mahashi? yeah, right! I hate this place.
Ok, I'm convinced. Some methods of torture are too extreme.
Are you sure this isn't 'The Weakest Link'?"
"That teleprompter thing makes him sound so eloquent. We need to get one of those for our shaheeds for their martyrdom videos."
"Merciful Allah, please send me back to Gitmo and make this suffering end!"
"Hey wait, this isn't the '24' marathon! President Palmer's waaay more butch than this douche."
"Uh, uh, uh, ummmmm..." He should just buy a vowel if he has no guess!
He wants to buy another vowel? For the prophet's sake! Even we can see it's "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave" Can he truly be so clueless?
The waiting room at the Hamas Social Wing's free dental clinic.
If this is the best the great Satan can do, we've won!
prince of leaves said...
The waiting room at the Hamas Social Wing's free dental clinic.
But the question is - do they have a Gideon's Bible and a Book of Mormon for reading in the waiting area?
Which will the virgins like better; Arafat or the One?
I think it's safe to say that Diogenes needs to continue looking...
"So, Mehmet, after this you wanna go to Burger King and then see if we can pick up some goats?"
This week on "Queer Eye For The Straight Terrorist": Ahmed and Abdul are fabulous dressers, but their dorm room could use a touch of teh ghey.
"Dude, change it! Change it!"
"Can't. Remember?...we used the remote to detonate your cousin."
In certain parts of the world, Hulu's plan backfires.
Liberals Anonymous -- when you're just too embarassed to admit you watch FoxNews.
"I still say I like Ryan Seacrest better."
"We can cancel the jihad, Achmed. With this idiot as President, the Great Satan only has a couple of months to go before it collapse completely."
"The One's speech convinced me to live in peace, Ibrahim. Let's go out and hug a jooo."
wv: trator - just an "i" short
"This not Playboy Channel."
"Man, this is like being right there in Cairo, but without the traffic, the noise, or spending half the day trying to find a parking space. Good call, Achmed."
"I swear to Allah, the next time he says "All too often" I'm gonna put a round right through that TV set."
"I don't get it. We got all dressed up for Law and Order...what is this shit?"
Sura 365:12 And the Pedophile saith, whensoever a servant of Alllllah watches the people on the future little box thingy, the servant shall sit at a 90 degree angle to the box.
Pali version of drinking games:
One gets "hope," the other gets "change." Whichever gets the lesser count at the end of the speech has to dial the other's detonator...
You know, Ahmed, I thought Tiger could only play golf... but by Allah! he REALLY reads the teleprompter well!
Mohamed and Jihad tried to look serious and determined, but the mood was ruined by Jihad's mom, Fatima. "When are you boys going to stop wasting time watching all that TV," came the sonorous voice from the kitchen, "And paint that damn room, like I asked a month ago?"
A teleclass at suicide bomber school:
"Okay class, now pay attention -- I'm only going to show you this ONCE!"
"Do you think if we traded in these AK's, we could get a 42" flat screen with surround sound?"
On tonight's Trading Spaces - The Achbadagah family and the Hachyatacha family decide to decoorate each other's rooms in a new stylish way. Will Achbad & Jamie like the new white room with an entertainment center??? Let's watch...
"There's the one guy on Earth who's less able to responsibly manage a state than we are."
Huffington Post readers lay in wait for V The K to make another mistake. "Ha! The idiot thinks the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor! We will show him, won't we, Jamal?"
wv: yalimera - A poor substitute for aloe vera.
"Is it time to go outside and shoot into the air yet?
The Prophet welcomes another martyr into paradise after the poor muzzle discipline of another believer led to an unfortunate accident.
wv: theraurse drop the 'u' and you got it right!
This year on Fox it's Martyr Swap - Two countries 'swap' their martyrs to see who can do the most damage. You'll laugh & cry.
"...Palestinians must abandon violence." - What??? That's my whole decorating and dress style!!
If they hadn't delayed the switch to digital TV, we wouldn't have to watch this.
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